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Marvin, 8/7/07

Oh my God.

It’s not just stupid one-off joke.

Marvin is … apparently … going to be talking … in a moronic combination of l33tspeak and textspeak written by someone who understands neither … indefinitely.

Look, he’s even doing the stupid “1” for “!” thing.

This … this is awful.

It … it … NGGGGGHHHH … RAGE … NEED ANTIDOTE! ANTIDOTE!

Gil Thorp, 8/7/07

Ah, that’s … ah, better. Good times. Happy times.

Look, the Ben Franklin lookalike drummer seems to be addressing us in panel one! It’s Kaz-cam! Look, Gail’s head appears to be growing out of Kaz’s shoulder, or perhaps vice-versa! Look, Kaz is reading the not-a-threat with his eyes closed, perhaps to cover up for the fact that he’s illiterate! Look, the note is blocking Gail and Kaz’s mouths, perhaps because the artist really botched them and didn’t feel like redoing the whole frame!

Ah. Good times. Happy times.

Family Circus, 8/7/08

Actually, Billy, it’s because Granddad doesn’t love you, and never did.

Blondie, 8/7/07

Hey, everyone, Elmo’s looking at Blondie’s ass! It’s funny! Wait, not funny; I mean shameful. Shameful and discomfort-inducing.

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Pluggers and Slylock Fox, 7/12/07

Pluggers are xenophobes. Hungry, hungry xenophobes.

I feel like there must be something of this dynamic going on in today’s Slylock Fox six differences, too. Why does Buzzy McFlatop harbor such simmering resentment towards the pizza delivery fellow? Presumably he rages inwardly because his children can’t get enough of that ethnic food imported to this great country by unwashed papist immigrants from the filthy Mediterranean countries. If only he could get decent, wholesome American fare delivered, like … um … venison? Turkey? I’m kind of at a loss.

Gil Thorp, 7/12/07

YEAH, BABY, I’M DIGGING MY GIL THORP SUMMER OF TOTAL INSANITY! Why won’t she give you a little kiss? Maybe it’s because she doesn’t feel like smooching the smooth, featureless skin on the front of your head, you no-faced freak. Fortunately, Walter Cronkite is here to come at you at a spatially baffling angle and smack you right in the spot where your mouth should be.

Blondie, 7/12/07

“Also, the front and the back are entirely different colors. Trust me, it’s all the rage this year. The Japanese have been wasting their time on lowering gas mileage, but Detroit’s been investing in the two-tone look.”

Mary Worth, 7/12/07

“Or, to put it another way, what can I do to you … with my penis? Wait, did I say that last part out loud?”

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Blondie, 7/10/07

Ah, the dilemma for lady-lovin’ comics readers: if you want to see a Blondie love scene, you have to put up with Dagwood foreplay.

Curtis, 7/10/07

I’ve been deliberately ignoring the Curtis-Michelle drama, as is my wont, but: damn if I don’t want to see this “puppeteer” and his be-afro’d, freakily big-mouthed “puppet” as often as possible. As a regular character, he could replace Gunk, as far as I’m concerned. Or Barry.

Dick Tracy, 7/10/07

See, here’s a strip that’s still got a few tricks up its sleeve. I think we all expected that the “Grandfather” in the tradeoff would really be Dick Tracy in disguise. I don’t think any of us expected that he would peel said disguise off of his face, causing the still-lifelike features to stretch and melt like some kind of peyote-fueled nightmare.

Mark Trail, 7/10/07

OH MY GOD SHE HIT ME IN THE FACE WITH HER FACE

Marmaduke, 7/10/07

And pooping, right? Don’t forget about pooping. You forget about pooping at your own risk. I’ve seen your yard; it’s not that big.

Zits, 7/10/07

Holy crap, is Walt smoking a blunt on the back porch? YOU ARE MY NEW HERO, SIR!