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Gil Thorp, 11/5/22

“Thanks for doing this on such short notice, Gil.”

“Of course, Marjie. Actually it worked out great, because it turns out the football team is already here. I was wondering where those guys were! Ha ha! Hi guys! Anyway, we’ve got a stellar squad this year.”

“May I quote you on that, Coach Thorp?”

“What? And let these idiots see me saying nice things about them in the paper? Absolutely not, it’ll undermine my plans to psychologically brutalize them later on. You quote me as saying they suck ass. No, wait, eat ass, say they eat ass. Hold on, eating ass is good now, isn’t it? Go back to suck ass. Yeah, suck ass. Put ‘they suck ass’ in the newspaper. All part of my master plan.”

Blondie, 11/5/22

Hmm, so what I’m getting from this is that Alexander’s curfew is 2 a.m., which is pretty generous in my opinion! Also, if Dagwood really wanted to do this as a gotcha, which he seems quite eager to do, he probably should’ve done it in the spring.

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Gil Thorp, 11/3/22

The new Gil Thorp writer has definitely upped the strip’s confusion game, which used to be centered on two plots you couldn’t keep track and now involves … three? five? plots, can’t even keep track of how many plots, and one of those plots that we hadn’t heard from in a bit is “Gil is about to become extremely divorced.” I like the way that he beats Mimi to the punch divorce-wise while still putting the onus on her as the divorce-wanter. If he put half as much mindgame effort into his coaching, Milford football might be actually doing well this year! [NOTE: IS MILFORD DOING WELL THIS YEAR? HAVE INTERN LOOK INTO THIS] [NOTE: DO I HAVE AN INTERN? LOOK INTO THIS]

Blondie, 11/3/22

Oh, thank God, I thought shocking rumor was that Greg was Laura Palmer’s killer in Twin Peaks. I haven’t finished the show yet, so no spoilers, please.

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Blondie, 11/2/22

I had a whole riff ready to go here about how I’m not a prude and it’s not like I think legacy comics characters shouldn’t feel and express sexual desire but I’m not a huge fan of Alexander Bumstead, a freakish-looking teen carbon copy of his father, being “hot for teacher,” but then my brain short circuited when I noticed his sister was wearing Crocs. Crocs! Recognizable footwear worn by real, normal people, in a world where these kids’ dad wears a tuxedo with a single dinner-plate sized shirt button to his utterly generic office job. It’s madness, I tell you! Madness!

Dennis the Menace, 11/2/22

This could’ve been a joke about how Margaret is smart and snobby about being smart while Dennis is menacingly stupid if they hadn’t literally put a heart on her sleeve. As it is, it’s just panel about two kids who don’t really understand metaphors, which, I hate to say it, isn’t particularly funny or interesting.

Family Circus, 11/2/22

Ha ha, look at how genuinely upset Billy looks! This kid has definitely done some crimes and is panicking that the so-called “constitutional protections” he learned about in his liberal public school do not apply in the Keane Kompound.