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Dustin, 3/28/21

I was going to start this post with “Did … did the manufacturer of warfarin write this comic” and then do a whole riff about how this seven year old kid may not need a blood thinner but the geriatrics who represent the biggest cohort among newspaper comics reader just might, but then I checked out warfarin’s Wikipedia article and found out it’s a generic drug, so that doesn’t really work. It’s just funnier if you get to use the actual name of a pharmaceutical conglomerate, you know? Anyway, I also learned that the warfarin was originally developed as a rat poison, its most common side effect is “bleeding,” and it can also cause something called “purple toes syndrome,” so, honestly, it really does need some good press.

Blondie, 3/28/21

The premise of the main gag of this comic is pointless — why would Mr. Dithers need a drone to keep tabs on Dagwood when there’s literally an entire sector of the software industry dedicated to producing spyware that bosses can use to keep tabs on their workers? — but I have to admit I found the throwaway panels, in which Dagwood reacts to a video poker website with more excitement and engagement than he’s ever demonstrated towards his career or his family, haunting enough that today’s strip will stick with me for weeks.

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Blondie, 3/26/21

I can’t quite put my finger on it, but every once in a while a character pops up in Blondie who, even though they’re clearly drawn in the prevailing Blondie house style, gives off the vibe of being a caricature of a real person rather than a character made up out of whole cloth. I always assume this is done as a favor for a friend — or, in cases like today, when the dude in question is giving a knowing glance to the reader that says “eh? eh? I fell out of love with my fiance during the pandemic and no longer wish to marry her? eh?”, a personal attack on a nemesis.

Dick Tracy, 3/26/21

I’m continuing to refuse to try to understand the plot of the current Dick Tracy storyline and am just going along with its ~vibes~, and honestly having a pretty good time with it! I particularly like the final panel today, with a grim-faced Tiger Lilly shoving a crude drawing of a peace sign at a cop. “This is the commune’s cryptic symbol,” he’s saying. “Figure out what it means and you’ll be able to crack this thing wide open.”

Family Circus, 3/26/21

Billy looks pretty embarrassed, as well he should. If you’re putting on pants the normal way and can’t win a pants-putting-on-race against a kid who squirmed around until he somehow crammed both his feet through one pant leg while wearing shoes, you are not very good at putting on pants.

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Blondie, 3/16/21

I know it can be hard to remember, since his character design is “Dagwood but with slightly smaller antenna and more normal clothes,” but Alexander is supposed to be a teenager! You’d definitely would definitely never get that from today’s strip by itself, since if there’s one thing teenagers don’t do very often, it’s praise old-timey TV genres that are being watched by their dad but in real life would be mostly enjoyed by people thirty years older than their dad. They’re not real observant about cleanliness, either, in my experience!

Shoe, 3/16/21

This strip got me thinking not so much about Roz’s love life as it did about the justice system established by and for the bird-people of Shoe. Specifically, I wondered, what form of execution is visited upon avian-human hybrids sentenced to death for their transgressions? Then I remembered that this has already been answered: the most heinous bird-criminals are cooked and eaten.

Judge Parker, 3/16/21

It has come to our attention that we recently hinted that something interesting, or at least violent, was about to happen in Judge Parker. We sincerely regret the error and invite you to sit back and enjoy this strip’s upcoming long and detailed look into the tax issues that can arise from converting residential or agricultural property to commercial use.