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Archive: Blondie

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Sexually depraved Tuesday

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Mary Worth, 3/13/18

Ah ha, Dawn has been claiming all this time that everyone who dares to imply anything romantic is going on between her and Harlan doesn’t know what they’re talking about, and yet they’ve clearly had a conversation about their status! So the real question is: did Harlan have to deflect Dawn’s awkward pass, or vice versa? Anyway, as someone who spent a lot of time in college and my early 20s involved in emotionally intense all-consuming platonic relationships that never flowered into romance, I’m glad to see that the kids today are still getting involved in emotionally intense all-consuming platonic relationships that never flower into romance, and also still hanging Dark Side Of The Moon posters up in their bedrooms.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/13/18

The proud inhabitants of Appalachia, the Ozarks, and other mountainous enclaves have long been slandered by Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, but this … this goes too far. They may not be wealthy but they are proud people, and they are not into snake-fucking, despite the persistent rumors!

Blondie, 3/13/18

Suburbia, though? 100% into roast-fucking. That’s settled science.

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The lesson is: Never try, or terrible things will happen to you

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Blondie, 3/11/18

I was going to say that this reads like someone who’s never worked in an office making jokes about what working in an office is like based on things they’ve read or seen on TV, but then I thought about “Yeah, this water won’t drink itself!” and now I think it’s someone who’s never spoken to another human being making jokes about things human beings say based on what they’ve read or seen on TV.

Mary Worth, 3/11/18

Soooo, this strip has the distinct vibe of wrapping up this storyline, and if that’s the case all I can say is wow. If there’s a lesson we’re supposed to learn here, I guess it’s that if you try to use your skills for profit, you’re a whore and you’ll be treated like one, so the best course of action is to dedicate yourself to God and His representatives on Earth, and also not ever tell anybody about the time some guy tried to rape you because who’d be interested anyhow?

Dennis the Menace, 3/11/18

Not sure what’s more menacing: that Mr. Wilson is going to teach Dennis phrases that signal solidarity with bigots without being overtly racist, or that he’s going to trick him into summoning a vast pack of hungry dogs who will devour him.

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This one’s for the ladies

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Beetle Bailey, 3/8/18

I really appreciate General Halftrack’s heavy-lidded expression in panel two here. Without this cue, we’d interpret “Egad!” as being an indicator of genuine shock. But looking at him, we know it’s muttered under his breath with mingled contempt and disgust. He’s horrified by the deviants and weirdos who serve under his command, but he’s no longer surprised by them.

Blondie, 3/8/18

Today is International Women’s Day, and a bunch of comics did strips observing it in various ways! Blondie didn’t do an explicit shoutout, but we can see that the creators have really focused on important women’s issues, like the fact that they’re terrible drivers, amiright fellas?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/8/18

“Of course, what with th’ terrible poverty an’ awful state of education in Hootin’ Holler, none of you girls are can grow up t’be lawyers or really much of ennythin’ else that call for book learnin’! That’s why yore feminist analysis has t’ take socioeconomic class into account!”