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Funky Winkerbean, 11/11/08

Every long-running narrative form drifts towards its own extremes, which explains how Funky Winkerbean went from being an occasionally melancholy strip about high school hijinks to a charnel house. Hopefully today’s near-wordless installment is about to take things to the next level: instead of being struck down by alcoholism or cancer or garden-variety despair, Montoni is going to be devoured by the rampaging Tyrannosaurus Rex that has escaped from a secret underground genetics lab, and is now eating everything in sight. Hopefully, the new accelerated pace of death will kill off all the strip’s characters in short order, opening us up for a new, happier beginning, or at least three blank panels a day in which nobody weeps openly.

Crankshaft, 11/11/08

Meanwhile, over in the “fun” Funkyverse strip, the complex issue of Afghan poppy cultivation — which is the only means that many impoverished Afghan farmers have to make a living, but which fuels terrorism and religious extremism in the region and desperate addiction in the United States — provides the source material for a terrible joke about pastries for Crankshaft to squint angrily at. Crankshaft is irritated by this news report, naturally, because it promises that the smack that makes his life bearable will be more expensive in the coming months.

Apartment 3-G, 11/11/08

The third-stringers continue to stink up the field here in Apartment 3-G, as Gary, completely rattled by a little razzing from Dr. Kelly, flails emotionally at Tommie for no reason. “You two work together. Is he always a little … ODD???? Hey, don’t walk so far away when I’m shouting paranoid nonsense at you!” It’s just as well that Tommie found out that Gary can’t deal with difficult people now, before she took him home to be terrified by Margo.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/11/08

“Seriously, no more! Your heterosexual shenanigans repulse me.”

Marmaduke, 11/11/08

“Guess who’s got rabies! Me, soon enough.”

Pluggers, 11/11/08

OH FOR THE LOVE GOD NO PLUGGERS AND GARAGE CLEANING NOOOOOO

(For you Johnny- and Janey-come-latelies who don’t know what “garage cleaning” is code for, travel back in time.)

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Crankshaft, 10/29/08

Good lord, is there a more menacing sight than Crankshaft’s hateful old face framed by a sinister black cloud rolling in from nowhere? This is no mere cantankerous old grump; he’s clearly some kind of winter-demon, determined to turn our beautiful country into an icy hell to inspire what passes for delight in his frozen lump of heart by calling down all manner of sleet and snow with his dark powers. Expect our frigid nightmare to continue until the ’Shaft decides that scorching summer heat might provide a better backdrop to his cranky, malapropistic wit.

Hi and Lois, 10/29/08

Sure, laugh all you want at Hi for not trying to use any search terms that might actually be helpful — the gentleman’s home town, his job, that sort of thing — but in his defense, sharing that sort of information is really frowned upon at anonymous sex parties, which I suppose is why they call them anonymous sex parties.

Ziggy, 10/29/08

It seems like there’s a sub-prime joke here trying to get out, but heck, let’s give the comic credit for trying. Ha ha, Ziggy’s flower is dying!

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The Comics Curmudgeon 2008 Fall Fundraiser



Hey, it’s the twice-a-year fund drive for the Comics Curmudgeon! Click the panel above or here to help keep the Comics Curmudgeon strong and independent. Thank you!

Update: Links to individual banners are available on the Contributions page. Scroll to the bottom (not too fast!) and click away — collect all 48!

— Uncle Lumpy

Every long-running comic has a special bag of tricks to keep things fresh. Let’s see how they do it!

Crankshaft, 10/1/08

When your lead character is a bully and a jerk, you need to rebuild sympathy from time to time or you’ll lose your audience. One way is to show the character’s Secret Pain — Ed’s was illiteracy, beaten to suffering death in an endless PSA a few years back. Another approach is to reveal a Heart of Gold beneath the crust, and here we are. Lovable Senior Ed Crankshaft uses a flashback to teach upstart pitcher Dwayne that “you’ve got to want it more than anything” or some such claptrap, and incidentally reveal that he, Ed Crankshaft, personally, single-handedly, and heroically helped Jefferson Jacks break the color barrier for the Toledo Mudhens back in ’47.

The sneery guy in the middle panel is “Beanball” Bushka, probably Coach Bull’s dad. We know he must be a bully and a jerk, because he acts exactly like the adult Crankshaft.

Family Circus, Judge Parker, 10/1/08

A little gratuitous skin from time to time helps maintain audience interest!

Sally Forth, 10/1/08

Oh, Sally, Sally — this is not the way.

— Uncle Lumpy