Archive: Crankshaft

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Crankshaft, 5/5/20

So yesterday’s Crankshaft featured our protagonist hitting his head on an airplane overheard compartment and making a bit of wordplay about it, and obviously it wasn’t nearly interesting enough to talk about it here. Today’s Crankshaft, however, involves Ed continuing to churn out sub-puns as a result of the same incident, and that has my attention. Can this strip keep up this pace all week? If anyone can make six distinct malaprops about an extremely minor irritation, Ed Crankshaft can!

Dick Tracy, 5/5/20

Wow, Dennis DeYoung seems very certain that any threat from Mr. Roboto is gone forever, doesn’t he? New theory of why he’s in this strip: Dick Tracy’s Neo-Chicago is, of course, a cryptofascist state in which brutal punishments are mandated for any and all crimes. For instance, if you violate someone’s intellectual property, the rights holder gets to kill you with their bare hands.

Funky Winkerbean, 5/5/20

It’s funny because America’s health care system, which tightly connects insurance coverage with one’s employer, does a poor job of accommodating gig workers and those in industries where continuous employment isn’t the norm, forcing people to make choices they wouldn’t under other systems! Ha … ha?

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Crankshaft, 4/22/20

Crankshaft is once again returning to a favorite (?) theme, “Boy, people at Book Fairs sure are annoying, aren’t they?” Annoying enough to … murder? Maybe, if Lillian’s book title is any indication! Why would you antagonize someone at a book fair who specifically wrote about murdering people at book fairs? Move along to the next table, annoying lady, before it’s too late for you!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/22/20

But boys! Without this moment of mind-shattering terror you can never go through the transformation that causes you to become the Bat-Man! You’re abandoning your project just when you’re at the precipice of the psychological shift crucial to the character you’re trying to emulate! I sure hope you haven’t gone to all the trouble of having your parents murdered in front of you only to back out of this now!

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Panels from Crankshaft, 4/19/20

“I’m that bus driver with the awful accident record they keep doing the I-team reports about. I’ve killed dozens of children! I’m widely loathed!”

Panel from Slylock Fox, 4/19/20

Hey, Slylock, I’m pretty sure you’ve never pushed an egg through your cloaca but if you did and you knew there was a place where they were giving out the good painkillers, you’d probably want to be there too, you know?

Mark Trail 4/19/20

“OH SAY KIDS DID YOU EVER WANT TO HURT OR KILL SOMEONE … WITH A PLANT? HERE’S A BUNCH OF PLANTS THAT ARE POISONOUS! I’M NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD, I’M JUST SAYING … HERE THEY ARE”