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Crankshaft, 2/15/20

We’ve already seen the 10-years-ahead version of Max in Funky Winkerbean, still running the barely solvent Valentine, so I guess, despite the heavy air of foreboding looming over the final panel of this strip, that he isn’t going to die in a ditch on this dangerous night ride. I can’t remember if we saw Hannah and/or their future child during that sequence, though. Maybe she’s going to die in childbirth? Right there, in the theater? Because Crankshaft doesn’t care about his own safety or the safety of others? It would sure make the failure of the Valentine, his last connection to his dead beloved, all the more poignant!

Curtis, 2/15/20

The “humor” in today’s strip, which involves Greg making a joke, then Curtis getting that joke, then Greg making another joke, is barely worth discussing here, but I do want to say that the overarching plot of the past few weeks has been that Greg threw his back out and is in a lot of pain, and never has the art sold this concept more aggressively than today. The man looks properly miserable in a very visceral way, and I respect it.

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Crankshaft, 2/11/20

Ahh, who could forget Butter Brinkel, the silent-era film comedian in the Funkyverse whose career was ruined when a starlet died under mysterious circumstances at one of his parties? Well, due to the Crankshaft/Funky Winkerbean chronological disjunction, the shocking documentary revealing that the real murderer was a talking chimp is still a decade off, which means that Butter Brinkel is still universally loathed at the time of today’s episode. Maybe holding this comedy festival was a bad idea, and not just because you scheduled it for mid-February in northeast Ohio! But thank goodness Crankshaft is here. I was going to say that Crankshaft doesn’t care if some movie star is “problematic” but actually, Crankshaft cares quite a lot. Crankshaft is frankly only interested in art created by murderers. Being that close to death makes him feel alive, which honestly explains a lot about why he still drives a schoolbus despite being demonstrably bad at it.

Blondie, 2/11/20

Hey, would you like to do a joke about how Kids Today are soft, with their lawsuits and their trigger warnings and their asbestos-free lungs, but also want to do a joke about how kids today have access to dangerous technology like drones, and you worry that they don’t really go together in the same strip? The wildly popular newspaper comic strip Blondie would like to urge you not to overthink it and just go for it. That’s what they’d do!

Curtis, 2/11/20

Or you could do a strip about modern-day technological culture that both pokes fun at its foibles but also recognizes the real warmth and human connection it can foster, like a coward.

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Hagar the Horrible, 2/2/20

This should get some kind of award for the comic most changed when the top row of throwaway panels, which don’t appear in some layouts, are removed. Without them, this is a sweet comic about Hagar making a fake treasure map as part of a grand gesture to tell his Helga and his kids and pets how much he cares about them. With them, it’s the story of two bloodthirsty pirates who were planning on using their map to track a vicious Viking chieftain back to his home and murder him and his entire family.

Daddy Daze, 2/2/20

Lady, I can assure you that this preverbal infant did not come up with this elaborate plan to spread happiness to strangers. This weird dude is trying to lure you into something and you should run, not walk, away from it.

Crankshaft, 2/2/20

OK, fine, I guess Crankshaft didn’t die after all. But at least we can console ourselves with the fact that, based on this, he’s almost certainly dying, right?