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Heathcliff, 2/1/26

Before the heavy crown of Heathcliff stewardship descended upon Peter Gallagher from his uncle, he contributed comics panels to Weird NJ magazine, which included a character named “The Jersey Tomato.” It’s difficult to find images of The Jersey Tomato online, but her whole deal appears to be that she’s a tomato who’s a sexy lady, or possibly a sexy lady whose head is a giant tomato. Anyway, since taking over Heathcliff, Gallagher has rewritten much of its DNA, and it’s impossible not to see a bit of the Jersey Tomato in this incredible new character, “The Hot Ham,” a ham who’s a hot, sexy lady, or possibly a hot, sexy lady who’s mostly a giant ham. I’m excited for this strip’s burgeoning audience of Zoomer fans to add “aromantic (except for hams)” to the long list of sexual-emotional orientations that I as a middle-aged person do not have to worry about.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/1/26

Oh, snap, it’s not Buck at all who’s picking up Rex from his surgery, it’s June’s crazy beloved Aunt (?) Tildy! A few years ago we were teased with a “Tildy is an old drunk” storyline that immediately turned out to be a “Tildy loves soda pop and takes ‘unplanned naps’” storyline, but let’s keep our hopes up that she has some kind of impairment that makes Rex’s drive home a truly terrifying one.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/1/26

Somewhat counterintuitively, this strip about caricatured hillbillies with occasional cameos from a big-city sharpie from the Woodrow Wilson administration was a pioneer in making jokes about cryptocurrency. So I’m excited for them to explore the crypto-adjacent world of prediction markets, where anyone can place prop bets on just about anything and insider trading is not just legal but encouraged because it makes their predictive powers more accurate (and enriches insiders in the process).

Crock, 2/1/26

I mean, obviously. What did he think the “car going in the tunnel” thing was about?

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Crock, 12/21/25

I kind of like the worldbuilding in today’s Crock, which implies that Magi simply spontaneously generate in desert climes, and can be instinctively attracted to your location by any large star-shaped object. I feel less affection for the final panel, though. Look at those faces: our heroes from the legion are definitely going to kill the Magi, right? Kill them, and possibly eat them?

Dennis the Menace, 12/21/25

This young woman’s “What are you doing here?” is a wholly appropriate expression of surprise. If Dennis’s parents allow him to just roam the neighborhood unsupervised, why do they bother to hire babysitters at all?

Mary Worth, 12/21/25

“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And I will definitely set a woman’s parrot against her husband. I cannot emphasize enough that I did not come to bring peace to the households of woman-man-parrot triads. Please do not use the occasion of my birth to give others false hope that parrots and husbands can live in harmony with one another, because they very much cannot.”

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Crock, 12/19/25

The sentence that most bothers me here is “It’s me again,” implying that we’re seeing another installment in a long-running drama between Crock and the … guy? … who’s calling him on the phone. At first I thought this was the same salesperson who annoyed him at dinner last month by calling during dinner and trying to sell him a banking credit card; but while on the surface the dialogue in panel one seems like it could be from someone hawking storm windows, it’s a wildly unprofessional sales pitch, and frankly sounds more like someone who’s only heard about sex second- or even third-hand initiating an obscene phone call. Anyway, Crock’s comeback is not as withering as he seems to think it is, and certainly doesn’t merit an entire panel dedicated to the triumphant slamming down of the phone in its wake.

Mary Worth, 12/19/25

This is honestly a fascinating exchange: Ian has gone fully mad, convinced that Sunny is no mere mechanical repeater of sounds but rather a fully fluent user of the English language, which makes the question of where he learned specific terms irrelevant, and that’s good for Toby, whose “Uh, maybe he heard it from [tries desperately to think of TV shows that have swear words] PBS” gambit is truly one of the least plausible things I’ve ever seen someone in this strip come up with, which is really saying something.