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Crock, 11/14/21

Crock has a long-running bit about how there’s a talking chicken who’s always on the verge of being cooked and eaten by the strip’s Legionnaires, but I don’t think they’ve ever implied before that this chicken has magic powers, beyond the ability to speak English (or, depending on how you think the Crock world-building works, French that’s getting translated into English for the American reading audience). Anyway, for some reason it’s really amusing me to think that the POOF between the last two panels is not meant to represent a genie’s summoning spell, but instead elides a sequence where the chicken manages to procure booze, a fast car, and a willing woman for the fort’s cook through non-magical means, like persuasion or calling in a bunch of favors or something. Would the fact that he’s a talking chicken make these tasks easier or more difficult for him to accomplish? Discuss.

Dennis the Menace, 11/14/21

Based on the title of today’s strip, I first assumed that Mr. Wilson was planning to launch a hip-hop career, and then I saw the WANTED poster and figured maybe we were about to learn that he was a criminal and he’s been on the run from the law this whole time. But no, it just turns out that all of his wife’s friends know he’s an asshole.

Hi and Lois, 11/14/21

Ha ha! It’s funny because nobody in Hi’s family wants to spend time with him, not even his baby!

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Mary Worth, 11/8/21

I have to say that there was a point, early in this Wilbur storyline, where I was like, “Ugh, another Wilbur storyline? Really?” And maybe some of you still feel that way, and I respect it. But I have to tell you, at this point I am in, I am 100% invested in every small and large humiliation Wilbur suffers, each more self-inflicted than the last. I mean try, really try, to think of a way to preface an announcement that you’ve spotted your ex and some handsome new love interest that makes you sound more petulant and pathetic than “and look who I spy with my little eye.” It’s impossible. You can’t. But it’s only Monday, so we know this is going to escalate. If Wilbur drops a vicious “Fiddle dee dee!” by the end of the week, I will be not at all surprised.

Slylock Fox, 11/8/21

One thing that today’s mystery makes very clear that I’d never really thought about: Slylock uses his powers of ratiocination and knowledge of animal facts to figure out the who and the what and sometimes the how of various mysteries, but never the why. “Something seems off about this dinosaur skeleton,” he think. “Oh, right, it’s the teeth. Stegosaurs are plant eaters, they didn’t have fangs like this. Welp, off to the next exhibit!” It never occurs to him to question why this government-run museum, in a state ruled by a cat where the laws are enforced by canids, might have an interest in making all of history’s coolest, baddest creatures seem like obvious carnivores. Ideology is truly invisible to those entrusted with enforcing it.

Crock, 11/8/21

“We’re in a comic strip based on Beau Geste, which takes place before World War I, so she’s from the future! Dating her would be incredibly dangerous! What if we alter the timeline and disrupt the fabric of the universe?”

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Crock, 11/1/21

I’m going to take a break from my long-running feud with Crock to offer some helpful humor advice: in the third panel here, Crock and Poulet should be looking into a toilet. I know, I’m usually not a big proponent of toilet humor on this blog (see for instance the 395 posts I have written over the past 15 years about the comic strip Marvin) but I think it’s an important tweak that would help make this punchline, which is about desert bandits breaking into fort’s plumbing, easier to parse. In its current form, the strip is relying on the reader’s ability to interpret Crock art and their general investment the world-building of the Crockiverse to correctly identify that well in the final panel, and I’m sorry, but I just think that’s asking too much of average person, who is doing their best but quite frankly has a lot on their mind right now.

Gasoline Alley, 11/1/21

Aww, the cute talking bears are back in Gasoline Alley! They’re peeking in the window of a Halloween party and remarking on all the “food” inside, by which I think we can all agree they mean people. “Wish it was inside me!” says the adorable baby bear, referring to his desire to tear human flesh from human bone and swallow it in great bloody chunks.

Crankshaft, 11/1/21

If Crankshaft is going to inflict this level of sub-pun on us, I appreciate that he at least looks dead inside as he does it. “Get it? Branch? Tree? A branch is part of a tree? Look, I don’t want to be here any more than you do.”

Mary Worth, 11/1/21

Oh snap it’s gonna be Wilbur vs. Ed Harding, The Reasonably Handsome Veteranarian That We Know Absolutely Nothing About for Estelle’s love, and immediately Ed becomes the prohibitive betting favorite!!!

Dennis the Menace, 11/1/21

“Heh, heh,” thinks Martha. “Every day his menacing skills grow more powerful. And soon, whether George is in the madhouse or in the grave by his own hand, I’ll finally be free.”