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Crock, 6/21/18

[extremely hack ’90s standup comedian voice] Hey, you guys, uh, you heard about this “Google”? They got all these crazy names for things on the Internet. [adjusts tie] It’s wild, man, it’s wild. Hey, what if there was some old wise man in a cave and it turned out he was just surfing the web using “Google”? [pats forehead with handkerchief] That’d be pretty crazy, huh?

Gasoline Alley, 6/21/18

Well, we’ve moved on from Slim’s erotic concussion and have started a new Gasoline Alley plot, about a centenarian with paranoid delusions about the personal care industry, and I’m not gonna lie: I am hooked.

Family Circus, 6/21/18

Look at those eyes! Look at that spittle! Listen to the unhinged ravings! Billy is in the middle of a full-on cookie mania, and it’s difficult to watch.

Hi and Lois, 6/21/18

WHEN YOU’VE COMMITTED A SIN SO GREAT THAT EVEN THE SUN ABANDONS YOU

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Beetle Bailey, 6/6/18

May 27, 1994: the day the Pentagon ordered General Halftrack’s troops to prepare to be deployed to support Operation Deny Flight in the Balkans, and, receiving no reply, determined that the existence of “Camp Swampy” in their records must be some kind of clerical error.

Crock, 6/6/18

It’s fairly grim that Schmeese has spent years tied to a post, awaiting the imminent execution by firing squad that never seems to come, and I’m glad to see Lt. Poulet acknowledge that this is just part of a larger pathology on the part of the Legion — that a seeming eternity engaged in this grinding colonial war has driven him and his fellow soldiers mad and capable of any kind of cruelty.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/6/18

Never has the process of creating art and the final artistic creation itself dovetailed so closely together as they do in the “Claude Barlow” Funky Winkerbean strips, in which a man writes truly awful puns and then smirks to himself in unbearable self-satisfaction.

Judge Parker, 6/6/18

“Plus we hear you’re fucking Randy Parker, and that’s gotta be a great way to get the inside info you need to break some stories, right?”

Family Circus, 6/6/18

The fact that this panel doesn’t depict Jeffy attempting to eat the candle just shows that the Family Circus lacks the courage of its convictions

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Crock, 5/23/18

A “favorite” joke format in Crock is “the troopers are getting so young,” which I guess is supposed to just be about how when you get older people come into the workforce who are themselves adults but who seem like children to you because the age gap between them and you is so big, but has the (I hope) unintentional effect of implying that France, beset by manpower shortages in its horrific and failing colonial war in the Maghreb, has been forced to deploy child soldiers. Fortunately, since e-mail has been a widespread and indeed in some contexts primary means of communication for 20 years, today’s strip is here to let us know that the Legion is now fully manned with adult recruits of prime military age.

Shoe, 5/23/18

“You know, Foster’s has a really effective advertising campaign in the States as ‘Australian for beer,’ but in fact it’s not particularly popular in Australia. No, my parents were really into beers like Carlton Draught and Tooheys New.”

“Is Foster’s a kind of beer? I was saying that the state put you in a foster home, because your parents were drunks.”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/23/18

“I dug up his grave in th’ dead of night, cracked open his coffin, and cut off his beard for Jughaid t’ wear. He’s frownin’ on account of th’ smell!”