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The Wizard of Id, 10/13/11

B.C. creator and Wizard of Id collaborator Johnny Hart famously used his comics as a platform for his religious beliefs. Hart is no longer with us, but the tradition lives on, I guess, kinda? Here, the eponymous Wizard summons the Cacodaemon (κακος — “bad”, δαιμων — “demon”: way to go, creative team) for a little light housekeeping. Do you suppose he gets conflicted about clearing out the spider webs? Scrubs toilets as well as Knute? Works on Sundays? Theology is hard!

Funky Winkerbean, 10/13/11

Failed Book Guy gamely rings up his final sale, to the smug bore who drove away every last one of his other customers.

Judge Parker, 10/13/11

Ripped from the headlines: Fresh from a foiled attempt on his life, Saudi diplomat Bubu Chibale* tails Randy Parker. He must act soon — a few more of their “lucky breaks” and the infidel Parker-Driver-Spencer alliance will surpass his own Kingdom in wealth and power.

* Fun fact: “Bubu” and “Chibale” are in fact both Middle-Eastern male given names, but they’re Egyptian, not Arabic — and from the very first page of the baby-namer. Research, Judge Parker people!

Curtis, 10/13/11

Ha, Curtis sure looks annoyed about this flashback. Understandable, really — in his strip, “flashback” means yet another iron cycle of “embarrassed shopping for school clothes”, “resisting the first day of school”, “bullied by Derrick and ‘Onion'”, “Flyspeck Island hijinx”, “spurned by Michelle”, “stalked by Chutney”, on and on until at last Kwanzaa brings the sweet relief of madness, if only for a week.

Fundraiser update

Bible Bird Bands are starting to arrive in contributors’ mailboxes — and there’s still time to make a generous donation and get yours! When you do, don’t forget to send Josh a picture at bio@jfruh.com. Put yourself on the (updated) map:

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Just like the fabled Passenger Pigeons, Comics Curmudgeon Bible Geese blot out the sun!

Mark Trail’s Greatest Hits – a Fall Fundraiser special, part 4

Mark Trail — 5/22, 11/14 – 15, 12/27/08, 3/30/09

That Mark Trail is one persuasive fellow.

— Uncle Lumpy

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Apartment 3-G, 8/11/11

More evidence of the differences between A3G girls: Margo escapes from her days of zipper-hauling slavery and heads for a hot, relaxing bubble bath; Lu Ann, meanwhile, likes her baths limpid and cold, the better for her to fantasize about not having sex with her boyfriend.

Curtis, 8/11/11

Thanks to Curtis, I’m totally plugged in to the cool street slang the kids today use! I’m looking forward to sassing folks by calling them “nephew” or cutting them down to size by asking “whadda ya want, a pop-tart?” The fact that they’ll have no idea what I’m talking about is a plus, because that way they won’t get angry or violent with me. I’m a coward!

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Funky Winkerbean, 4/17/11

This latest plot development may be more weighted down with grim Funkyverse backstory than any we’ve yet encountered. For those who don’t keep up, or who continually purge Funky details from their mind so that they can continue to feel pleasure: the blond dude is Darrin, who was the baby Les’s sainted dead wife gave birth to as a teenager and gave up for adoption. His blonde wife is Jessica, whose father was a newscaster and the star of John Darling, a strip that Tom Batuik created with Marvin auteur Tom Armstrong; the strip was cancelled and was wrapped up in hilarious fashion when a crazed gunman murdered Darling. Later, back at the Funky mothership, Les solved the murder and made it the subject of his first book, which was a complete financial flop. Fun!

Jessica and Darrin somehow managed to escape the awful gravitational pull of gloom that is Westview, but are now returning voluntarily because Jessica wants to make a film about the death of her father, which will presumably do about as well as Les’s book. Anyway, the best part is that they have to live with the Moores (because everyone in town is far too depressed and/or cancer-ridden to build new houses) and Darrin will have to get a job at Montoni’s (because it’s literally the only functional business within a fifty-mile radius that doesn’t require an MD with an oncology specialization as a prerequisite of employment).

Curtis, 4/17/11

I fine it hard to believe that Gunk has, in all his years of paling around with Curtis on the comics pages, never been taken to an American movie. But I’m even more baffled that horror connoisseur Curtis can’t see the potential in the movie plot Gunk outlines. A respected scientist is transformed as a result of his obsession into a grotesque, enormous mollusk — a monstrous nightmare-thing that, in an appalling twist, his insatiable colleagues consume alive? The visceral horror combines with allegorical themes to make Flyspeck Island a shoo-in as winner of next year’s Best Foreign Language Film Oscar. (Wait, do they not speak English on Flyspeck Island?)

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/17/11

Perspiring visibly, the cop was so fixated the sordid sexual encounter he had planned for the evening that he couldn’t focus on his job! Sordid R-rated film starring Harvey Keitel or Nicolas Cage … or wacky comic that appears in family newspaper around the country?