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Dennis the Menace, 6/30/26

I’m pretty sure Dennis is the one being menaced here, as he stares dumbly at Mrs. Wilson, who is half-watching what used to be her favorite show while simultaneously scrolling through a Facebook feed on her phone that’s increasingly dominated by bottom-tier brand posts and AI slop. Is it really true that “her stories” have degraded in quality? Or is it just that age, and the transformation of the media landscape, have rendered her less capable of enjoying the genre’s ludicrous twists and emotional highs and lows? Overall a real grim lesson for Dennis to take away from this visit, honestly. Still, I suppose he might be adding this pun to his own arsenal to unleash in a semi-menacing fashion on someone else. And let’s not neglect the fact that he’s drooling on himself. Engendering disgust in other people is a kind of menacing, I guess.

Dick Tracy, 6/30/26

The latest Dick Tracy storyline involves FBI Agent Fritz Ann Dietrich, who I guess I haven’t mentioned before but she’s a very occasional character whose main thing is that she’s always openly hitting on Sam Catchem (DIVERSITY WIN: this sex pest cop is also a lady!). Anyway, you might think that this box of “gaming machines” will be something interesting, but given that this is new-look nostalgia-obsessed Dick Tracy, it’s probably full of mechanical accessories for classic board games or something.

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Curtis, 6/20/26

As a longtime Wikipedia editor and aficionado of Wikipedia silliness, I enjoy it when I stumble upon evidence of a vicious long-ago battle between two editors on the wording of some article. For instance, when some fairly anodyne assertion has a ludicrous number of citations given to support it, that usually means that some editor who wanted that sentence in the article when someone else didn’t went nuclear to justify its inclusion. I bring this up because the article for Spielberg’s War of the Worlds calls it a “science-fiction action thriller film,” and supports that genre description with a footnote that contains seven subordinate footnotes backing it up. But is it a horror movie, maybe? The nationally syndicated newspaper comic strip Curtis calls it a “horror remake.” Maybe it’s time to open this discussion again. See ya out there in the marketplace of ideas!

Dennis the Menace, 6/20/26

I guess Henry is supposed to be sweaty and exhausted, but it really looks to me like he’s crying, possibly because it also really does not look to me that the Mitchells are in Disneyland, the actually trademarked happiest place on Earth. They lied to him and told him this obviously non-branded amusement park was Disneyland, but he can’t handle the deception anymore! He’s weeping because of the web of lies he’s spun for his only son!

Blondie, 6/20/26

Please, Elmo, ever since the Supreme Court’s decision in Learning Resources, Inc. v. Trump, nobody cares about tariffs anymore. “Lemonade prices are spiking because so much of this year’s lemon crop has been unable to get through the Strait of Hormuz” is the new hotness!

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Dennis the Menace, 6/17/26

I can see why Dennis thinks that Henry, who wears a bow tie everywhere and thinks that you should change into a polo shirt when it’s time to do manual labor outdoors, would be good at owning a horse, if by “good at owning a horse” you mean “wealthy enough to own an animal that’s very expensive to purchase, house, and care for, and that does not provide any economic benefits in modern society.” He’s wrong, though: the Mitchells live in a modest suburban home and all their meals are prepared by Alice, who is by all accounts terrible at it but the family apparently doesn’t have other options. Your dad doesn’t have horse money, Dennis! He barely has dog money!

Luann, 6/17/26

“Lily and Brenna remind me of two other girls I know! Girls with similar names! Those girls are you and me, by the way. I made sure they’d draw us in the last panel so that people know that’s who I’m talking about, because I don’t respect our readers’ intelligence.”

Mary Worth, 6/17/26

Remember when Tommy was the type of guy who earnestly thought-ballooned about having his own meth lab? Well, now he’s the type of guy who earnestly refers to a bathing suit as “skivvies.” It’s true what they say: jail changes a man, for the worse.

Crankshaft, 6/17/26

I’m sorry, is this strip trying to sell us the idea that Harry Dinkle’s dad, who would’ve been alive well into the 20th century, invented the concept of uniforms? No. Absolutely not. I refute this. I refute this!