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Blondie, 12/12/25

Mr. Dithers is no doubt all too well acquainted with Dagwood’s relationship with food, so he’s no doubt well aware of how transgressive a statement he’s just made to his employee. Dagwood’s thing with food isn’t about sex — it’s much, much deeper — so fortunately for Dithers this doesn’t fall under sexual harassment regulations. Honestly, employment law doesn’t even have a name for what just happened here, but that doesn’t make it any less shocking.

Dennis the Menace, 12/12/25

“There can be no punishment greater than to no longer feel the gaze of God upon you. But if God knows that you will never transgress against His commandments, will He not inevitably look away?” is some pretty menacing theology, I have to admit.

Alice, 12/12/25

Hello, friends. Have you been looking for opinions about the new crowdfunding platforms? Well, I’ll tell you one place you shouldn’t look: the syndicated newspaper comic strip Alice. Alice doesn’t think about the new crowdfunding platforms. She doesn’t think about them at all!

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Blondie, 12/9/25

I’m pretty impressed that Alexander and Cookie have figured out how to mirror both their phones to the TV simultaneously, and even more impressed that they’ve managed to seize control of the wheeled TV stand, turn it 90 degrees from its usual position facing Dagwood, and roll it towards the viewer, yet somehow still have it visible to Blondie. I’m not impressed that Cookie thinks a circa 1985 camcorder is going to help her with her vlogging career.

Mary Worth, 12/9/25

Ah, yes, Ian has awoken to discover that the eternal struggle between man and bird has escalated yet further during his slumber! Is Toby to blame for this latest attack, since she bought Sunny an ample cage in which one might expect him to be confined at night, but then didn’t close the door? Well, maybe, but surely any animal clever enough to identify the particular bit of hoarded detritus to which Ian is most fiercely emotionally attached couldn’t be held back by some feeble latch.

Dennis the Menace, 12/9/25

Gotta say I’m intrigued by how philosophical Mr. Wilson looks here. Another birthday to celebrate, and the only people who showed up are his wife, who lives there anyway, and his most hated enemy, who is also a five-year-old child … truly, life is a funny old thing, and you never know exactly where you’re going to end up.

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Dennis the Menace, 12/7/25

I feel like Henry’s “He’s gone too far this time!” line actually explains a lot about this strip. Like there’s some kind of beef going on between him and Mr. Wilson that dates back years, before Dennis was even born. “That’s right,” Henry thinks, every time Dennis heads over to the neighbors. “You menace that asshole, kid. You menace him good.”

Mother Goose and Grimm, 12/7/25

I think one of the reasons that jokes about fire hydrants in comic strips with sapient dogs bug me so much is that much of the schtick of a talking-dog strip is playing around with the question of “what are the human equivalents to these objects or experiences in a dog’s everyday life?” but for whatever reason the ones that deal with fire hydrants always seem to rapidly lose their grip on whatever metaphor they’re trying to establish. But kudos to Mother Goose and Grimm for going beyond the hydrant into other realms of doggie existence, where the metaphors also don’t work. Take alcohol, for instance. Is toilet water like alcohol, for a dog? Well, no, not really. How about the kind of vaccines a dog would typically get at the vet? Are those like alcohol? No, that’s not right either, but keep at it, you’ll get there one of these days.