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Apartment 3-G, 11/27/12

There’s trouble in paradise, if by “paradise” you mean the weird workplace romance between Margo and Evan. Evan thinks that he can be cold to our gal Magee just because he’s used her sexual jealousy to steal away her clients for his aunt’s agency and has thus achieved all his goals. He’s about to learn that Margo only makes time with betas when they provide sexy massages and other benefits, and when they decide to withhold those benefits, Margo decides to withhold their paychecks and/or oxygen.

Spider-Man, 11/27/12

Spider-Man, meanwhile, is undercover in Las Vegas, trying to figure out what crimes Kraven the Hunter is plotting. His patented detective technique has mostly consisted of lurking around Kraven and sulking while Kraven practices his animal act, foils purse-nappers, and does other non-criminal things. It’s not particularly sophisticated! Thus, even though Kraven has introduced two monkey with names that make it so obvious that a third will appear soon that he might as well just call them “Monkey 1” and “Monkey 3”, we need Peter to thought-balloon this information, because otherwise we readers might worry that he’s failing to pick up on it, as he fails to pick up on most things.

One aspect of Peter being sullen about Kraven’s fantastic life in Las Vegas has been Peter being sullen about Kraven’s success with the ladies. This is kind of ironic because the very first Spider-Man storyline covered on this blog featured Kraven trying and failing to woo the one lady dumb enough to marry Peter Parker! They’re like an ourobouros of loserdom, these two. (Note from the commentary on that old post that I was still trying to grapple with just what Newspaper Spider-Man was all about back in those days.)

Dennis the Menace, 11/27/12

SUSPECT IN CHILD DISMEMBERMENT CASE ‘DEFINITELY GUILTY’ SAY NEIGHBORS

Retired Postal Worker Was A ‘Ticking Time Bomb’

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Dennis the Menace, 11/11/12

“Not right now, Dennis. You see, I’ve been very, very naughty and now I have to sit here in this corner until your Mom comes back with the carpet beater for my spanking. Say, why don’t you walk down to the candy store and buy yourself a treat? Here’s a twenty — take the long way back.”

The Better Half, 11/11/12

OK, this is some kind of Six Differences thing, right? Dress, earring, meal, hair, chair, … dammit! One thing that never changes is Harriet’s stunned reaction to her friends’ romantic complications: I betcha boring old Stanley is looking pret-ty good to her right about now.

I’m also a little intrigued about the redhead’s idea of catch-and-release sport-dating. It sounds like something Henry and Alice Mitchell might want to check out.

Curtis, 11/11/12

The most expressive characters in Curtis are the animals. From faithful basset-hound Trinklet to the Evil Dr. Horsehead, the animals are invariably more sincere and deeply engaged than all the heavy-lidded humans sleepwalking around them. I mean just look at Unnamed Sheepdog racing from despair through alarm to ecstacy in about three seconds there — who wouldn’t want to come home to that?

Still, I don’t think boyfriend is playing this at all well. Maybe the passion of the lovers’ reunion was judged too intense for a family strip? Maybe boyfriend is just putting off introducing Naomi to his new wife Kashmala, waiting in the car? Or maybe he caught a glimpse of Curtis and Barry and decided on the spot that wife and family was not the life for him?

— Uncle Lumpy

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Apartment 3-G, 10/23/12

“I’ll miss her. She was mighty handy with a taser!” says Margo, referring to a character who tried to tase one of the girls’ nemeses three and a half years ago and has been seen maybe three or four times since. Thus, Margo looking directly out of the panel at the reader and referencing Mrs. Bloom’s one wacky distinguishing characteristic is the equivalent of someone on a sitcom mugging for cheap audience applause, except in this case nobody can hear the applause because we’re all reading at home alone, and really the only people who remember a three-and-a-half-year-old one-day gag from Apartment 3-G are probably the people who read this blog. So let’s all applaud! The good folks at Apartment 3-G central deserve it! The rest of the world is no doubt just slightly but measurably more baffled by Apartment 3-G than usual.

Judge Parker, 10/23/12

Bubba seems quite receptive to Avery’s plan to become a “partner” to Bea in the operation of her fishing lodge, and also possibly in other ways (nudge) (wink) (I’m talking about a sex partnership, in which they have sex with each other). He hasn’t exactly given Bubba a reason not to dismember him with a chainsaw, though, unless he’s trying to weave a sense of “Look, I very much don’t want to trouble your harmlessly massive marijuana grow operation.” The only obstacle to a happy ending for all is Sam, who, among his many fine qualities, is a reliable prig who won’t let illegal things like massive marijuana grow operations go unreported to the authorities. Chainsaw dismemberment is still a possibility, is what I’m saying!

Dennis the Menace, 10/23/12

Hmm, Dennis offering to turn snitch? I rate this: mildly menacing.