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Archive: Dennis the Menace

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Sorry, Leroy, but: ya burnt. Ya undeniably burnt

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Dick Tracy, 5/25/21

Wow, who could’ve possibly predicted that taking a protectee who already faced one assassination to the theater would’ve been a bad idea? Turns out this dress rehearsal wasn’t anywhere near as closed to the public as promised, so you better believe that our lovable pair of goth murderers are here to finish the job on ol’ Charlie. Anyway, I’m featuring today’s strip mostly to ask the very serious question of what in God’s name is going on with the mysterious figure in panel three. Is this yet another villain with a bizarrely specific costume shtick, wondering who’s here to horn in on his theater crime business? Or is this production of The Tempest just particularly avant-garde?

The Lockhorns, 5/25/21

Though I am by chosen profession a Comics Curmudgeon, and though I poke fun at The Lockhorns as much as anyone, my fundamental position on this comic from the beginning has been that I unironically like it. Today is a great example of its purity of essence. Leroy writhes in pain, having failed at a mundane household task, and Loretta looks at him, saying something cutting and genuinely funny, with absolutely dead eyes. It’s perfect. No notes.

Dennis the Menace, 5/25/21

It is absolutely in character and yet still absolutely infuriating that Henry has suited up for his macho weekend chores by putting what I’d bet money is a brand-new baseball hat and tool belt over the immaculately pressed dweeb-ass work clothes he wears most of the time. And I know some of you are going to say, “No, Josh, you don’t get it, he’s not planning on doing any chores, this is sex thing,” and if that’s the case he honestly ought to be more embarrassed about how he’s dressed.

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It’s quite harrowing to see what comic artists think a handsome man looks like

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Mother Goose and Grimm, 5/20/21

I’ve mocked them over the years, but I have come to respect the humble comics colorists as a vital part of the operation on the funny pages, and indeed believe sometimes they put more thought into their jobs than the cartoonists do. Take today’s Mother Goose and Grimm, for instance. The title character is, by long established convention, a bird, so her nose/mouth area gets a beak coloring, and her friend/drinking companion, despite her long hair, has a generally bird-like look, so she gets the same treatment. But what about the dude? In the suit? Is he a bird? He has a big pointy nose but he also has a big bulbous chin butt, rather than a chin drawn to resemble basically the bottom half a beak, like the ladies? But Ma Goose’s friend definitely wants to marry and/or fuck this guy, possibly not in that order, so it would be unseemly if he weren’t a bird, right? Better give his whole … nose/mouth … beak-ish … area the established beak aesthetic. Just to be safe!

Family Circus, 5/20/21

Another institution I’ve come to respect more and more over the years is the Family Circus. Say what you will about its treacly aura or its grandma-fridge fanbase, but it does commit to the consistency of its characters no matter where that leads. What I mean to say is that Billy is absolutely the kind of kid who would learn about the distinction between who and whom at school and then try to use his new knowledge to make his mom feel dumb, unsuccessfully.

Dennis the Menace, 5/20/21

A lot of people think Mr. Wilson is grumpy because Dennis is always over at his house annoying him, but there’s more to it than that. For instance, he also resents his wife of many years and thinks his marital life is a prison!

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Just get a normal damn phone, Dick

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Dennis the Menace, 5/17/21

Look, the only time I want Dennis to say “Now he’s studyin’ for the bar” as a punchline is if he’s repeating some crack from his parents about their guest’s terrible drinking problem that he pretends he didn’t understand. But this? I honestly have no idea what this is. A true menace would maybe be running a scam where he dresses a fellow kid up in a suit and claims he’s a lawyer and dares adults to contradict him, going on a small-time reign of legal terror, but we all know Dennis doesn’t have the grit to pull off a plan like that. Anyway, this kid’s a real square-ass nerd and Dennis, the comic pages’ biggest “menace,” is his friend and real proud of him, I guess!

Gil Thorp, 5/17/21

Aw snap, today’s my favorite day of the season: when the team over at Gil Thorp HQ pulls the giant lever all the way over to “wacky!” It looks like in addition to going to high school and being on the baseball team and working odd jobs to help support his impoverished family, Zane is going to be running for the library board against his girlfriend’s dad so his girlfriend’s dad can’t put his “let’s shut down all the libraries” agenda into action. Can this be any good for his relationship, his grades, or his fastball? Probably not, but it’s good for drama, which is what I crave.

Dick Tracy, 5/17/21

Speaking of drama, just days ago someone tried to assassinate Dick and Sam’s protectee in broad daylight. But today? Today they’re going to enjoy the legitimate theater!