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Dick Tracy, 12/15/21

Let’s face it folks: between COVID-19, a general prejudice against nerds, and a widespread unwillingness on the public’s part to engage with anything that isn’t part of a larger, branded “cinematic universe,” museums and libraries and other so-called “brainiac institutions” are in trouble! That’s why we’re trying to “get the word out” in the funny pages about how these places are actually pretty cool, when you think about it. We already had a long story in Rex Morgan about how doing stuff at a museum can lead to you acquiring a mob enforcer as a chauffeur; now we’re learning that if you’ve been paid with murdering a particularly formidable adversary, maybe there’ll be an exhibit about him at your local library that will let you know about all his vulnerabilities and weak spots.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/15/21

Speaking of Sarah’s adventures in unearned and unwanted (?) fame and fortune, let’s not forget that she’s not the only pseudonymous author on the Kitty Cop series: there’s also “Kyle Vidpa,” aka Jake Rowling, whose writers’ block got Sarah involved in all this in the first place, and who is presumably about to blow his own cover to distract from Sarah. Look at his wife in the background of panel two! That is the face of a lady who’s about to go through a lot annoyance for a kid who she quite frankly doesn’t even know, and she’s not thrilled about it!

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Dick Tracy, 12/10/21

Ever since the raid on Apparatus HQ, Dick’s been hard at work down in the phrenology lab, trying to determine if the Ace of Spades’s gimp mask concealed a sloping Italianate brow, or, worse, the lantern jaw of an Irishman.

Blondie, 12/10/21

[adds “nice, plump gobbler combo” to the list of phrases that if I encounter them again I will immediately call the police]

Mary Worth, 12/10/21

God damn it, if this isn’t some kind of Wilbur fantasty sequence I am calling on all Comics Curmudgeon readers to immediately riot in the streets!!!! THEY CAN’T GET AWAY WITH THIS

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/10/21

She … she called the news hotline and told them all about it? Try to keep up, kid.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/9/21

I honestly kind of respect how many no shits this local news crew gives about this extremely pointless segment. Like, normally they would’ve called in advance, made sure everyone relevant to the story was available and in the same room before they started, talked them through the questions they were going to ask, gotten consent forms signed by their parents, etc. But, whatever, channel [squints] “GTV8” does it cinéma vérité style, letting the chain of connections and relationships that ultimately brought the truth to light unspool for the viewers at home exactly as the documentarians are discovering them. I certainly hope that this entire thing is being broadcast live, as was the hour or so they spent standing around on the Morgans’ doorstep earlier.

Gil Thorp, 12/9/21

God bless Gil Thorp, a soap opera strip that I believe on the whole fulfills its basic mission of delivering goofy teen sports-related drama pretty well, but not every storyline can be a winner, and this fall’s has definitely been something of a dud. How appropriate, then, that it ends due to something happening off-panel, completely outside the control of the protagonists. I do appreciate that Marty is trying to sound like a big-time sports journalist who’s just had an intern run in to the studio to keep him updated on the latest scores even though he’s clearly just reading them off his phone.

Dick Tracy, 12/9/21

You ever wonder what happens if the new bras they give you before you go into witness protection don’t fit right? Well, don’t worry: that’s when the Federal Boob Inspectors swing into action.