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Rhymes with Orange, 7/20/26

Lady lets herself be intimidated by inanimate objects. Gonna be a long day.

Six Chix, 7/20/26

Unhealthy, infected, diseased, rotting, morbid, disgusting meat. How to say you’re vegan without saying you’re vegan.

Dustin, 7/20/26

The animosity between Ed Kudlick and his son Dustin is well-established, but doesn’t it seem lately that their barbs are getting sharper? I mean, today’s exchange is basically, “You’re lazy and doomed to failure!” / “You’re stupid and can’t speak English!” It won’t be long before these breakfast chats devolve into cursing and flinging coffee and cereal.

Phantom, 7/20/26

The Phantom’s very first nemeses—the pirates of the Singh Brotherhood—were in it for the loot. But the motivations of the current crop are harder to parse:

• Leopold Braga, Admiral in the navy of landlocked Rhodia, says he serves its ruling junta by serving Ignis Vindicta, but how? Is there some bribe, contract, alliance, or other alignment of interests between the parties, and if so to what end?
• Chatu “The Python”, Wambesi terrorist, used his native Bangalla as a safe haven to carry out attacks in Rhodia. So why does Rhodia, through Vindicta and Braga, want him on the team?
• Eric Sahara started out a billionaire playboy, then took up recreational lone-wolf terrorism as “The Nomad”, taking over Chatu’s gang when he thought the Phantom had killed its leader. Why? Don’t know!
• Elon Musk Ian Mollusk Ignis Vindicta (tr. “Fire of Vengeance”) is a wealthy motormouth nutjob who wants to rule the world from space. He surrendered all control of his Nomad/Chatu project to an AI programmed on his own bullshit, and constantly brags about how he has no influence over what it does. Why? Got me.

Beyond “bad guys do bad things,” these villains are united only in their hatred of the Phantom, which kinda seems like a side quest, and hasn’t worked out well for any of them in the past.

—Uncle Lumpy

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Herb and Jamaal, 4/14/26

OK, Herb, that’s not what the expression is, first of all, it’s actually about ugly people, who I get you may not want to insult, but I’m just telling you, and second of all, all you’re saying is “to say they’re good at lying is to say [elaborate, awkward metaphor for someone being good at lying].” That’s tautological! Are they lying or not? It’s OK, you haven’t even said specifically who “they” are, so you can still reuse the strip whenever!

Mary Worth, 4/14/26

“I told them ‘Grandpa doesn’t even have a boat’ and ‘that never happened,’ but they just kept saying ‘Any old dude who wears a fuckin’ ascot everywhere has gotta be a boat guy,’ so hopefully you have a bunch of liquid cash to buy a boat with if you want your grandkids to ever spend time with you, because they’re not coming down here from Goleta unless there’s a boat involved.”

Dustin, 4/14/26

I actually appreciate the final panel here, where Dustin’s dad’s facial expression makes it clear that he’s had a truly harrowing experience trying to log on to his bank’s website. And good! That’s right, old man, the world is changing and you will never catch up! I hope you enjoy the icy feeling of death on the back of your neck, because it’s only going to get stronger!

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Dustin, 4/12/26

To misquote Mystery Science Theater 3000, you should never reference a good comic in your shitty comic, and say what you will about Garfield but it’s a relentlessly efficient machine for amusing 8-year-olds, whereas Dustin has never amused anyone ever. Today’s strip makes it clear that Dustin requires three separate characters to achieve what Garfield does with one. This is not something you want to draw attention to!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 4/12/26

I don’t like this one because Ma Goose’s uninhabited shirt in the mirror looks exactly the same in both panels, and that makes it clear that she’s turned her head 180 degrees without any other part of her body moving. It’s uncanny. Is that something birds can do in real life? I don’t really care, honestly, they don’t as a rule wear shirts in real life so I don’t think that’s actually relevant.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/12/26

Oh, wow, this is actually a good bait and switch: we thought Mae Mae’s cover was going to be blown by the suspicious mustachio’d non-Mud customer at the diner, when in fact her cover’s going to be blown by Mud, because he absolutely cannot keep a secret or even have a thought without immediately verbalizing it. Not sure if he’s relapsing or if the Mirakle Method simply didn’t cover this situation, but either way, it’s more than Mae Mae’s feet that are in danger!

Hi and Lois, 4/12/26

I guess in theory I’m all for Hi and Lois updating itself for modern suburban life, but I gotta say “the Flagstons and Thurstons take their cuck stuff to the golf course” is a little bit more than I can handle.