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Judge Parker, 11/30/24

Hey, remember at the beginning of this year, when we found out that the Judges Parker had a secret daughter (to Judge Parker Senior)/sister (to Judge Parker Junior) named Ann, who they hadn’t seen in 20 years? And it turned out that she was tied up in various criminal enterprises, and that’s why she had to flee again, and also maybe she murdered a guy on her way out of town? Well, Judge Parker Senior spent a lot of the Thanksgiving holiday pingponging being maudlin about how his whole family isn’t together and also being manic and thankful, which it looks like is leading up to the big reveal that he has Ann locked up in the family’s terrifying basement, for her protection (?). Probably he used to keep all kinds of people locked up down there, which is why Randy hated it so much.

Dustin, 11/30/24

Haha, yeah, I wonder who thought up one of the most widely used and beloved features on modern smartphones? Probably a girl, right? Do you think she got her girl cooties all over it?

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Panels from Hagar the Horrible, 11/17/24

“OK, we want people to know she’s a prostitute, so we’ll give her torn short shorts and fishnet stockings … but how will we let people know she’s a French prostitute? Can we do something with her upper half, maybe?” This sounds like criticism but it’s not. Perfect visual storytelling, informative and funny, keep it up Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC.

Dustin, 11/17/24

What really makes this strip for me is not that Dustin’s dad has to cut this evening short to go to bed so he can get up and go to work — we’ve all been there, “there” being a hell-world where are forced to earn our bread by the sweat of our brow and cannot simply be indolent all day if we so choose — but the way he does it. “Well, enough of this,” he announces to his aged father, who is unwell (see final panel “punchline”) and may not be around much longer. “I’ve done the math on whether my optimal choice is to hang out with you or slip into unconsciousness, and my conclusion is: smell ya later, old man.”

Dennis the Menace, 11/17/24

Wow, so the entire run of Dennis the Menace has been one of those ironic things where it turns out it’s a story written by one of the characters! Who knew Mr. Wilson had such artistic talents. Anyway, looks like today’s the day we wrap the whole thing up. RIP Dennis the Menace, 1951-2024, you taught me it was OK to be weird.

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Dustin, 11/15/24

Yes, sir, Dustin sure is a strip where one of the main characters is a lawyer! Ha ha, that is undeniable. And “class action”? You’d better believe that’s something a lawyer would say. Does that make this strip funny? Well. That’s neither here nor there. I think we can say all the elements are there, though! Ha ha!

Hagar the Horrible, 11/15/24

The thing about Hagar is that he’s a literal savage, a vicious pirate and murderer. Everyone is terrified of him! He’s a violent man who feels no remorse!

Pluggers, 11/15/24

Pluggers are covered with bruises and various injuries. It’s actually really disheartening. And they’re old and their health isn’t great, so they don’t heal as quickly as they used to.

Shoe, 11/15/24

Wait, do the Shoe bird-people do meetings by Zoom? That implies a global pandemic in their recent past … but what could that be [Googles “bird flu,” accidentally clicks on the “News” tab] oh god damn it