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The Lockhorns, 9/3/26

I like how Leroy is delivering this line as he’s buttoning up his shirt. Like, sure, maybe he made some desperate promises when he was naked and Dr. Blog was poking and prodding at him, but now he’s regained his dignity enough to say “I’m not going to be following any of your advice because I hate myself and crave death, by the way.”

Dustin, 9/3/26

The most important thing about the advent of the Age of AI, from my perspective, is that I now have to deal with syndicated newspaper cartoonists who think they understand what AI is but don’t. Is AI a little man who sits in your computer and shares all your prejudices, and will gleefully add “LOL” to the resume of a feckless young person who, if he were real, you would hold in contempt? No! That’s not what AI is at all!

Dick Tracy, 9/3/26

“Yes, I’ll tell you what’s up … we’re tracking hackers and this guy’s name was Hackenschmidt. It must be related!” Sure, that’s incredibly stupid, but also he’s right, so we can only say that Dick has adapted to his narrative environment.

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Hagar the Horrible, 8/23/26

I honestly don’t know if we’re supposed to understand “Lucky Eddie is an animal lover” and “Lucky Eddie’s girlfriend is a half-human, half-fish” and “Lucky Eddie is getting off on doing undercover furry stuff with hot human ladies” in combination as showing that he’s slowly and methodically trying to figure some extremely specific kink out or if he’s got a set of polymorphous perversities across this whole general conceptual space. As long as everyone involved is having a good time, that’s all I care about!

Dustin, 8/23/26

God, Dustin’s eager facial expression in the third panel here is heartbreaking. “Were you embarrassed? In front of all your friends? Was this a situation where you were humiliated, instead of me? Tell me more. Tell me everything.” This is why Dustin’s dad never takes his son to work.

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Dustin, 8/17/26

Hey kids! Do you remember the Deepwater Horizon oil spill that dumped 150 million gallons of oil into the ocean? Well, that happened in April of 2010, which I regret to inform you all was more than 16 years ago. I’m not saying that it’s impossible for someone in their early 20s, as Dustin is supposed to be, to have a memory of this event that includes the total amount of oil spilled over the course of the disaster; I am saying that it’s a testament to the unparalleled period of peace and prosperity we’ve experienced since, given that this is Dustin’s go-to reference for “something world-historically bad happening” within his lifetime.

Crankshaft, 8/17/26

Hey, kids! Do you remember Funky Winkerbean, the comic strip that was originally about wacky high school students in Northeast Ohio who hung out at Montoni’s Pizza, but eventually came to be about depressed adults in Northeast Ohio whose lives all revolved around Montoni’s Pizza in some way, before finally becoming about survivors living in a futuristic sci-fi Northeast Ohio hellscape where books were eradicated in “the burnings” and the last few precious copies are guarded by robots, with the status of Montoni’s Pizza being unclear? Anyway, long story short, Crankshaft hopes you do, because clearly the intention here is that Crankshaft sitting down and saying “a nice big slice of … Montoni’s Pizza” with an extremely knowing expression on his face will have all of us hootin’ and hollerin’ and yellin’ “got the reference” like we’re the live studio audience for Family Matters and Urkel just walked on set.