Post Content

Blondie, 10/28/26

Don’t really feel like engaging with the “joke” here, but I do want to point out that at some point in the past week the Bumsteads rearranged the TV table so at least one of them can now see the screen while seated normally. Dagwood still seems to be having trouble, though, if that lean is any indication. You can move the TV even closer, Dagwood! That’s what the wheels are for!

Dustin, 10/28/26

I feel duty bound to acknowledge when one of those comics characters I truly loathe does something praiseworthy. For instance, today I’m pleased by the fact that Dustin’s dad has decided to meekly await death rather than putting any effort into staying alive.

Dennis the Menace, 10/28/26

By iron-clad comics visual law, this guy’s red nose indicates that he’s pretty drunk right now, on the job, presumably in the middle of the day. And who can blame him, when the children who should be his primary customers are wandering in off the street and asking shit like this?

Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/26/26

Well, a week was about all the time we could spare to dedicate to Augie’s grim determination to never feel a moment’s excitement about anything that isn’t an absolute certainty, so now we’re moving on to … ugh, fine, it’s Buck and “Shorty and the Beanpole,” Glenwood’s favorite neo-vaudeville double act, I guess. You get a sense of how deep these kids are into this lifestyle by the way Corey reflexively says “the ceiling” in response to his father’s question. There’s no joy, no whimsy on his face: he just says it automatically, the way a tennis player at the top of their game would lob a serve back at you without a second thought.

Dustin, 10/26/26

God, look at this kid’s expression in the second panel. He is extremely excited to be on the verge of learning a fun fact from Dustin, which is one of the saddest things you could possibly say about a child with his whole life ahead of him.

Pluggers, 10/26/26

You know who doesn’t have his whole life ahead of him? This plugger! He’s stuck in that beanbag, and he’s gonna die there, soon!

Post Content

Mary Worth, 10/18/26

Oh, wow, as predicted by literally everybody, Mary and Ian weren’t engaged in a sexual relationship after all; they were simply spending lots of time together because Ian is simply too dumb to know how to make a reservation at a restaurant or an all-inclusive resort, both of which I assume have both phone numbers and websites, and he was deliriously grateful that Mary was able to help out. Why, they even had a big laugh together about how ill-equipped Ian is to successfully complete even the most basic of everyday life tasks. The best thing about this big reveal is that Wilbur, Dawn, Saul, Eve, and … I think that’s Tommy? … are all party invitees, which means that the exact same people who eagerly spread the gossip about Ian and Mary also presumably knew that Ian and Mary were planning a surprise party for Toby together. It also means that Toby has no actual friends, because I don’t think she’s ever hung out with any of these people on a non-Charterstone-pool-party basis.

Dustin, 10/18/26

Now, I know most of us think about Dustin as “that unlikeable dipshit who’s marginally less unlikeable than his father.” But he has some layers to him that you might not expect! For instance, did you know he’s also haunted by thoughts of death, and how he’ll be remembered after it in this world and what he’ll experience in the next?

Hi and Lois, 10/18/26

Speaking of the afterlife, can you imagine risking eternal damnation just to watch a Jaguars-Texans game? Seems not worth it, to me. On the other hand, given that the pews here are full of random comic and cartoon characters, Hi is probably having some kind of hallucinatory experience, which makes the fact that he’s making sure to keep up on Jags-Texans action even more pathetic.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/18/26

We’re all familiar with Pinocchio, of course, the beloved wooden puppet who came to life. Can you imagine if Pinocchio were real, and worried about venereal disease? Probably in that context he’d think about termites, right? Termites that would eat his wooden penis? Anyway, that’s not a puppet lady who he’s ogling, so I personally think he should learn more about the human body and the various organisms that make up its extended biome before he goes around trying to have sex with us.