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Dustin, 3/8/21

Look, I tolerated it when the obsessive neurotics of the late lamented (?) Edge City tried to get into mild S&M, and I endured it when the neurotic obsessives of the gone but not forgotten (??) Pajama Diaries casually referenced their own kink. That’s because I what I felt for those couples wasn’t warmth exactly, but at least was sort of a mild contempt. But these two? These two I don’t like at all, and the thought of them having any fun infuriates me, especially if that fun involves getting horned up watching a John Wayne movie.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/8/21

“Or, p’rhaps when the fellas get a whiff, they lose all their inhibitions and our poker night will b’come an evenin’ o’ unbridled sexual passion, which we’ll ne’er speak of agin! Or the card-cheatin’ thing, that’d be good too.”

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Dick Tracy, 2/24/21

A little sniff before she fixes dinner, if you follow her. If you get her drift. Her snow drift. She’s talking about cocaine! I feel like what with all the weird escapades with “Pouch” and his stolen balloon “Blue” that this strip has been going on for the past several weeks, we’ve lost sight of the true star of this storyline: cocaine, and the recreational consumption and illegal distribution thereof.

Blondie, 2/24/21

Look, obviously the Blondie strips where she’s taking notes on the “[Insert Profession/Hobbyist Group To Make Jokes About Here] Group Luncheon” are just excuses to make some easy jokes riffing on widely accepted stereotypes about the profession or hobbyist group in question, and that’s a perfectly valid joke template for a long-running legacy strip like Blondie to have. I’m just saying, though, you really should have your stereotypes correct if you’re going down this road. Like, when I see someone with a sweater tied around their neck like this, I think “leader of the rich kid camp across the lake about to challenge our protagonists to a snobs vs. slobs battle in an ’80s comedy,” not “theater kid.”

Dustin, 2/24/21

I get that this is supposed to be a joke where an adult tells a child about how things used to be, but: Dustin is canonically supposed to be boomerang kid who came home from college and never left, and his younger sister is still in high school, so I don’t think we’re supposed to think of him as much past his mid 20s, meaning he was born in the mid-to-late ’90s; meanwhile, Facebook opened to the general public in 2006 and surpassed MySpace as the most heavily used social networking site in 2008, so “likes” have been a social currency for basically his entire life. On the other hand, Hayden, age seven, probably doesn’t use social media at all and when he starts it will be on some app whose feedback mechanisms are entirely strange and foreign to the rest of us. What I’m trying to say is, if you’re doing an entire strip about generation gaps, you at least need to know what various generations are into.

Funky Winkerbean, 2/24/21

“I think I basically get the urge to have a place where you sleep indoors and spend time when you’re not at work. But why would you want that place to be nice?”

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Dustin, 1/22/21

Ha ha, ladies, amiright folks? They definitely be shopping, and they also be using their purse for its intended purpose of carrying things around rather than just leaving it empty!

Gil Thorp, 1/22/21

Oh, right, in addition to the Vic and Doug storylines, this Gil Thorp basketball season also features a girl’s basketball storyline, about beloved (?) new Mudlark Corina Karenna, and how maybe she has some beef against Tessi Milton that she displays by sassing her in very mild ways like calling her by her last name, or maybe she’s just mildly sassy in general, who can say. Anyway, I’m definitely not saying that girls’ Gil Thorp storylines are less interesting than boys’ Gil Thorp storylines in a larger abstract sense, but I am going to say that Corina needs to get sassier by like two orders of magnitude if she wants to compete with Vic’s hot dog giveaways for my attention.

Mark Trail, 1/22/21

From the comic strip that brought you Boatsplosion! and Boatsplosion 2: The Boatsplosioning, comes: Boatsplosion III: Fireworks Yacht.