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Family Circus, 11/11/25

One of my favorite unintentional running Family Circus bits is when panels drawn decades ago that depict the Keane Kids in a car have seatbelts added in extremely half-assed ways. Just look at that shoulder strap vaguely dangling across Billy’s torso; he doesn’t even appear to have a lap belt, and there really is no way to overemphasize the degree to which none of this setup would restrain him in an accident. Presumably Big Daddy Keane knows this, and is more and more tempted to slam on the brakes and hurl his son towards the windshield as his blather becomes increasingly irritating. If only it weren’t for this blasted traffic!

Hi and Lois, 11/11/25

I was an early advocate for Hi and Lois returning Thirsty to his roots as a comical alcoholic, but even I have to admit that “Eat food? Produced via agriculture? No thanks, I’d rather drink an intoxicating beverage” may be going too far.

Mary Worth, 11/11/25

Similarly, I’ve had no complaints as Mary Worth does more and more animal-themed storylines, but “Ian acquires an erotic rival in the form of a parrot” is probably the point where I would start to register some mild complaints.

Shoe, 11/11/25

“Do you understand how much my spirit yearns to be free of this corrupt matter? Take this knife. Sacrifice the man that clothes me. Do it now.”

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Pluggers, 10/31/25

Sorry, I don’t think you should be exclaiming “What have you done?” to a guy in a toga unless he just banded together with other patriots to stab his longtime friend and political ally to death to preserve the constitutional order of the Roman Republic. I guess he really should be covered in blood to make this work but I stand by it.

Family Circus, 10/31/25

Why is Big Daddy Keane attempting to hide behind a tree like this? It’s not because his kids are embarrassed to be seen with him, as they’re gleefully pointing him out to this poor woman uninterested in their family psychodrama. If he’s embarrassed to be seen with them then I get it, but he’s doing such a bad job of hiding that I have to say that he’s no prize either.

The Lockhorns, 10/31/25

Leroy and Loretta hate each other with such intensity that it’s easy to miss that they’re not real big fans of anyone else either. Have you ever aggressively worn a Halloween costume at a specific person? Leroy has, and that’s what makes him great.

Mary Worth, 10/31/25

Oh, you went into solution-search mode, Mary? Because it sounds like the solution was quickly found by Olive, thanks to her telepathic gifts. You didn’t do shit!

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Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/20/25

Look, I know what I’m about to say is gonna make me sound like a humorless nitpicker, but I promise that I do in fact know that the whole point of “cartooning” is that you draw a person in a funny, unrealistic way that works only when you don’t think about what exactly is going on with the parts you can’t see, under the clothes or under the skin. But I gotta nitpick it when they make you think about it! Like, love handles are just above your hips, and I’m sure the Mother Goose and Grimm house style is to think of the waist of their characters as being comically high, and that’s hard to read when they’re wearing flowing robes like this demon is, but … those are boobs, right? Saggy boobs? They don’t look like love handles at all, I’m sorry, and I’m so mad about it I can’t even go in depth on how the “hell spa” wordplay doesn’t quite work (yeah, I know it’s a pun, but do you think we on the mortal plane go to an “Earth spa,” demon??? c’mon).

Family Circus, 10/20/25

Normally, I would think the “parent makes a big show of teasing a kid when they do something good by implying that there’s something wrong with them” is not really the sort of thing you want to do if you’re really aiming to reinforce good behavior, but based on Jeffy’s face here, there’s no real danger of that, because that is one of the blankest expressions I’ve ever seen. No thoughts, only Jeffy. He is definitely not processing Ma Keane’s complicated little semiotic dance, which I guess is really just for her.