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Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/30/26

I will reluctantly agree that “gummy bear” -> “Smokey has no teeth” is a decent joke and I can see the appeal of committing it to comic strip form. However, I cannot condone this particular visual interpretation, in which Smokey seems genuinely shocked by his own gumminess, as if his teeth had been cruelly ripped from his mouth mere moments ago and he’s not only suffering intense pain but realizing he’ll no longer be able to rip and tear meat, crack bones, or crush tough plant matter — all important aspects of the bear lifestyle.

Family Circus, 10/30/26

I guess Jeffy is supposed to look sheepish, but to me it honestly seems like he’s rolling his eyes at his sister. Dolly, you idiot, you philistine, for his costume he’s a practitioner of the ancient, storied art of clowning. His role is to act the fool and hold up a distorted mirror to our society and ourselves. Every day is April Fool, to him! He’s in character!

Mary Worth, 10/30/26

Tommy, have you seen the amount of muffins this woman produces? Do you think she’s interested in gluten-free anything? Your interrogation is going to be extra painful now.

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Crankshaft, 10/24/26

Crankshaft, no longer satisfied to merely irritate his neighbors with occasional billowing clouds of smoke during grilling season, is now hoping to more effectively poison them by simply pumping out gasoline fumes for hours on end.

Family Circus, 10/24/26

Wrong, Dolly! Kangaroos are nonhuman animals and feel no sense of patriotism; they can flourish in environments with a wide range of temperatures so long as there are plentiful grasses and shrubs for them to eat and no large carnivores who might prey upon them.

Bizarro, 10/24/26

Most turkeys that Americans will be eating this holiday season will have lived their entire lives inside the factory farm where they will also meet their demise. You might be inside a factory farm right now, li’l poult! Make a break for it! Try to get outside and never look back!

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Family Circus, 9/30/26

God damn but Gary looks smug here. “That’s right, Mrs. K.! My parents love me, but they don’t love each other … and they’re engaged in a constant but unspoken game of mutual oneupmanship for my affections. The two rooms are just the beginning! I’m really sitting in the catbird seat here! Uh, by which I mean, I see Billy has a lovely home. Just the one, obviously.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/30/26

“We were just taking in the fall colors! Like, uh, green! Green is a color, and it’s fall, so I guess it’s a fall color? I guess it’s fall? What month is it? What year is it? Where am I? Why am I here? Oh, it’s Mud Mountain Murphy! Are you gonna play ‘Muddy Boots?’ I’m afraid I’m going to have to insist that you play ‘Muddy Boots.’”