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Shoe, 8/13/10

This diner patron has suddenly realized that the ambiguities of the verb “serve” could be deadly in a world of talking animals. We already know that the birds in the strip eat other birds, so why wouldn’t Roz just kill her bird-man customer and feed him to a fish-man? No reason. No reason at all why she wouldn’t. Better tip big, bird-man!

Family Circus, 8/13/10

The whole “Keanes go to the beach” storyline we’ve been enjoying (for certain limited definitions of “enjoying”) over the past couple of weeks is, as several readers have pointed out, a repeat from the ’70s or ’80s. Certainly that was a more innocent time, when Jeffy’s brazen nudity was merely implied and not rubbed in our faces.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/13/10

“No, yore paw is passed out, from th’ likker.”

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Crock, 8/1/10

Why the long face, Captain? In addition to all the other advantages to being a handsome Legionnaire that you mention, you apparently are also in possession of eternal youth! Go on, seduce the young woman, safe in the knowledge that, like her grandmother, she will age and wither and eventually die, while you grow more handsome with each passing day.

Family Circus, 8/1/10

Wow, is this the greatest Family Circus ever? It provides no punchline, no play on words, and yet still gives America exactly what America wants: little Jeffy crying his little eyes out. Of course, we may come to regret this momentary pleasure, as history may record August 1st, 2010, as the day that the Winkerbeaning of the Family Circus began.

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Family Circus, 7/30/10

Rarely have I been more disgusted with a smile plastered all over Jeffy’s grotesque and unnaturally horizontal face. One can’t fault a child for hurling a rock at the ocean, but surely the vandalistic joy and apparent sense of achievement he feels as a result of this act are worthy of censure? I censure him. FEEL MY WRATH, JEFFY!

Mary Worth, 7/30/10

OK, so maybe Mary isn’t a “licensed therapist” per se, but you have to admit she’s making great progress with Dr. Mike. Just yesterday he was punching himself in the head; now he’s more healthily directing that anger outwards, engaging in fisticuffs with his invisible absent father.

Marmaduke, 7/30/10

“And sometimes he barks out demonic incantations so as to raise an nightmare army of walking corpses that will do his awful bidding!”