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Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/3/06

I see that Rex Morgan has broken down and introduced its first black character since January. Of course, he’s a drug dealer. I like the fact that, even in the midst of a causal business-related discussion with one of his employees, he’s flashing a gang sign — because he’s that hardcore about being a gangsta. Even though we can’t see his hands in the final panel, I’d like to belive that he’s maintaining that gang sign as his lab goes up in flames. Because he’s that hardcore.

Meanwhile, June’s hit the nicey-nice trough of her emotional roller-coaster ride. As a result, Niki’s starting to warm up to her, but since her reflexes aren’t so hair-trigger at this point in her cycle of psychosis, he should really be using this opportunity to flee. That’s what Rex does.

Family Circus, 12/3/06

A commentor with some kind of inside track on the funnies posted a link to this earlier this week, but I still wasn’t emotionally prepared to see Billy’s monstrous peyote-fueled nightmare in living color in the paper. I think I’m most disturbed by Daddy: everyone else at least gets a human head on an animal body, but the horrifying combination of the man’s face with the prehensile trunk and huge, drooping ears nearly sent me over the edge. I do kind of feel bad for PJ, who has to be a feeble, hapless infant even in this twisted Dr. Moreau-esque hellscape.

Spider-Man, 12/3/06

You know, MJ and Doc Ock’s semantic “web-crawler” vs. “wall-crawler” vs. “web-spinner” debate is the most exciting conflict this strip has seen in, well, ever. If the city is going to be held at bay for the next six weeks by further argument along this line, I for one am willing to accept that.

Mark Trail, 12/3/06

You know, I … I had always assumed that pirates were the pirates of the sea. Call me crazy.

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Family Circus, 11/18/06

Awww, isn’t that cute. Mommy’s attempts to get Dolly to hate her pudgy, stump-limbed body are finally taking hold. C’mon, girl, if Daddy can starve himself thin, then so can you!

Mark Trail, 11/18/06

I fear for Andy’s sake that once again, “we” is going to turn out to mean “you”. Thank God the -ake boys are too dumb to know how to use their guns. Presumably Mark is too, and so then: Yay! Fisticuffs!

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Curtis, 11/17/06

You know, many once-great works of continuous narrative art reach a certain point where they, for reasons mysterious to us on the outside, feel a need to add an adorable character whom everyone hates. Though this is a move to keep things fresh, it ends up disgusting fans and ruining everything. So, for instance, the Flinstones had the Great Gazoo, and Scooby Doo had Scrappy Doo, and now Curtis has “Oogie.” Except that this is Curtis, so I’m not sure “ruined” is really the right word here.

Apartment 3-G, 11/17/06

Wow, Gina is the most socially inept person who’s ever managed to get out of high-school alive. The only thing I can think of is that she’s a serious method actor, and her character was just punched in the jaw before coming on-stage.

They’ll Do It Every Time, 11/17/06

You know, I like to think that I’m a pretty close reader of TDIET. In fact, I probably spend more mental energy parsing its panel every day than 99 percent of the people in this country. And yet I can’t tell you exactly what it means when the narration begins with the phrase “Living on the edge,” as it does fairly regularly. Nothing even remotely edgy happens in the panels that contain this phrase; it’s just the usual litany of insane, petty rants and human degradation. Today is a good example, though it might indicate that Ma and Pa are on “the edge” of death; they certainly have the stunned stares of a couple who are suddenly coming to grips with their own mortality. I gotta say that if my dad were sitting around inside with his eyeglasses up on his forehead, I’d be looking into homes, too.

Mark Trail, 11/17/06

“Man, if only we had some way to, I don’t know, explosively propel tiny metal projectiles into them, thus killing them! But where would we get such a thing? I guess we’re just going to have to tie them up to death.”

Family Circus, 11/17/08

“It’s a little channel I like to call ‘Ambien,’ and it’s on 24 hours a day, honey!”