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Hi and Lois, 10/20/24

It’s a bold choice to have Hi and Lois make direct eye contact with you, the reader, in the final panel here. This isn’t just a cute domestic scene; it’s a polemical tract, tailored to urge all of us to not be so quick to “tidy” that we purge beloved memories of our past. Frankly, I’m glad I didn’t read this before I spent a lot of time and energy reorganizing my closet a couple weekends ago, as I’d probably still have a bunch of shirts I never wear hanging up in there. “Let’s leave it! It’s a time capsule!” I’d tell my increasingly irritated wife.

Family Circus, 10/20/24

The Family Circus’ bread and butter is what I like to call “darndest thing saying,” which is the Keane Kids trying to explain some aspect of the world or talk like a smart adult but fucking it up very badly, due to idiocy. However, today’s installment makes a fatal misstep, because one of the darndest things they say is actually correct! We really do call autumn “fall” because of falling leaves — in fact, the original phrase was “fall of the leaf.” Does Billy, like me, spend his time entertaining himself exploring word origins on the Online Etymology Dictionary site? If so, he probably enjoyed learning that “autumn” comes to us from Latin but may ultimately have an Etruscan root, and that there is in fact no common Indo-European word for the period between summer and winter, which may imply that the steppe herders of the proto-Indo European urheimat did not perceive it as a distinct season.

Mary Worth, 10/20/24

I think Wilbur has finally hit his logical endpoint as a character: he has become the human embodiment of rock bottom. The prospect of marrying him is so vile and horrifying as to make literally any alternate scenario seem preferable. The middle panel in the bottom row comes from Estelle’s fictional dreamscape, but I assume it will haunt your very real nightmares tonight, as it will mine.

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Shoe, 10/19/24

To be sure, the human heart is a mystery, and nobody can say why anyone does anything, really, but that hasn’t stopped me from wondering why exactly Shoe brought back Muffy Hollandaise, a beloved (?) character from the ’80s or maybe the ’90s, couldn’t really tell you for sure but it’s been a long time, trust me. Anyway, since like 60% of Shoe strips are just characters saying generic gags to one another that don’t really pertain to them as distinct individuals, maybe the team decided they needed one more recurring character shape to be one of the gag-sayers, just to mix things up further. And, if that gag-saying character shape was a sexy bird-woman with a big juicy ass (as amply demonstrated in panel two), who’s going to complain? Certainly not all you perverts who read my website, that’s for sure.

Gasoline Alley, 10/19/24

Man, I kind of love how Ida Noe is losing it as she gets eclipsed by this fuckin’ robot. Arty’s all like, “Let’s go to space! I’m going to help you cheat in school,” and Ida Noe, who is literally a doll animated by some kind of evil spirit from the depths of hell, has to say “Uh, uh, let’s not be hasty! Have you talked to your parents? You don’t want them to worry!”

Family Circus, 10/19/24

I really enjoy how Billy is physically restraining Jeffy here. “No, you don’t understand, he’s grilling. It’s … too dangerous.”

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The Phantom, 9/8/24

Phantom was growing increasingly vexed
That the proles would identify him as John X.
So by making up missions and playing a role
He set out to bewilder the Jungle Patrol.

Now you may think the Phantom was being a dick,
But protecting The Legend is part of his schtick
And he doesn’t much mind it’s exacting a toll
On his credulous fans at the Jungle Patrol!

So poor Colonel Worubu is having a sad
‘Cause he’s lost the best buddy that he never had.
But his misery’s nothing but damage control
To the Unknown Commander of Jungle Patrol!

Mark Trail, 9/8/24

Mark proposes to save the Catalina Quail by burning down its habitat. It’s possible he doesn’t see that “local shrubbery” and “overgrown uncleared brush” are the same thing. It’s certain he hasn’t thought this all the way through. Either way though, roast quail is delicious.

Family Circus, 9/8/24

What’s more tragic: that Jeffy will grow into a sleep-deprived corporate drone like his Dad, or that Bil will deteriorate into a scatterbrained idiot like his son?

Rex Morgan, M.D. (panels), 9/8/24

Your finger hurts. No one can help you. No one cares. Your career is over and your life is meaningless. Sit, Truck, sit. Sit like you’ve never sat before.

—Uncle Lumpy