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Blondie, 11/19/21

I know I spend far too much time going on and on about comic book time here, but it really is an interesting lens for analyzing long-running strips like Blondie where all the characters stay more or less the same age. Like, for instance, to me as a reader, Ditzwell in the back seat there has been carpooling with Dagwood literally as long as I can remember, but the two of them haven’t gotten any older over that stretch, so who’s to say how long it’s been for them? Maybe they’re still getting acquainted with one another! Nevertheless, unless this is literally the first time Ditzwell has ever been in the car with Dagwood, he ought to know exactly who would buy these jelly beans. And let’s not even talk about say Herb, Dagwood’s ostensible best friend, who claims to be similarly mystified! It’s wild that a man of such obvious and simple pleasures can still somehow be an enigma to those closest to him.

Family Circus, 11/19/21

“Remember? He’s a robot! We’re all robots! Mommy and Daddy had real kids once, but no human could say the dardnest things efficiently enough for their needs.”

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Mary Worth, 11/18/21

This is, even within the context of a Wilbur storyline in Mary Worth, extremely sad. Remember earlier in this storyline when he was putting himself out there, full of confidence? Now he’s fallen back to his natural level, and it’s using “my own dog doesn’t even love me” as an attempt to get some pity-sex.

Crankshaft, 11/18/21

“Oh, wow, sorry my trying to help you has been such a burden! Sure, why don’t you drive from Ohio to Seattle and then sit in a poorly ventilated room with dozens of other people for eight hours. You’re 85 years old or whatever, you’ll probably be fine!”

Dennis the Menace, 11/18/21

Hmm, Dennis, your brand of menacing is supposed to be big and aggressive and flying in the face of society’s rules. Letting Joey know that you’ve already resigned yourself to your place as just another faceless cog in the machine and that he needs to as well is, ironically, one of the most menacing things you’ve ever done.

Family Circus, 11/18/21

“Did you know that you could be a parent and still dress vaguely fashionably, mommy? That you don’t have to dress like a dowdy old lady? You’re, like, 35 tops, right?”

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Crankshaft, 11/13/21

In one of the more jarring bits of Funkyverse visual shorthand, traditionally panels that are supposed to be flashbacks are depicted in sepia tones with corner tabs, as if they were in an old-timey photo album. This was true whether the action in question was supposed to be taking years before the main narrative or only weeks; today we keep the coloring but lose the corner tabs, so I guess this is supposed to represent a sepia-style Instagram filter or something. Anyway, remember those crazy days of March and April of 2020, when we were desperately trying not to shit? Crankshaft does! Maybe we just don’t usually seem him in profile, but in that second panel he’s looking much portlier than usual, and given the context I really don’t want to think about the implications.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/13/21

Speaking of the good old days, remember just a few weeks ago when we thought all these people might get blown up? Sadly, some guy we barely had time to get to know and dislike got blown up instead, so now instead of seeing Rex and June wading through a sea of carnage to use their medical skills to help the survivors get the hell out of dodge, we have to watch whatever this is happen instead.

Family Circus, 11/13/21

“And alone! You’re going to die in your messy room alone.”