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Family Circus, 11/11/18

This is actually a properly heavy strip for Veteran’s Day! Kids, all these military toys and video games that are marketed to you nonstop make war seem like a hoot, but your dad knows the truth, after being forced to experience and do terrible things during [squints] the Guadalcanal Campaign in World War II.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/11/18

Does America go far enough in taking care of its veterans? Sure, we often fall short of our promise to provide them with high-quality health care that meets their specific needs; but at least it’s accepted that every single soldier is allowed to live out the rest of their lives as shiftless chicken thieves, to honor their service.

Beetle Bailey, 11/11/18

Say, did you ever want to know what everyone in Beetle Bailey’s ethnicity was? Well, here you go! Which of these do you think was literally just made up for today’s strip? It’s definitely that Rocky is Mexican, right?

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Family Circus, 11/8/18

Ha ha, I love how smug that frog looks. “That’s right, buddy, you better back the heck off. There’s no way to be sure about my royal status. Unless you want to kiss me? No? You don’t want to kiss me? Guess I’ll be on my way, then. See ya, chumps!”

Gil Thorp, 11/8/18

Oh wow, I haven’t been keeping you up to date on the Gil Thorp football season, huh? I guess it’s because it’s been super boring, with the month since we learned that Tiki is often late for mysterious sister-related reasons mostly taken up by two of Tiki’s less dim teammates slowly piecing together that Tiki seems unfamiliar with the major landmarks around his supposed residence and may not live in Milford at all. Anyway, today the Gil Thorp creative team apparently noticed we’re more than a week into November and we need to start wrapping this up, because suddenly we got a lot of exciting info, maybe implying that Tiki isn’t really who he says at all! An imposter! A changeling! A 32-year-old investigative reporter who’s writing a longform piece on America’s most mediocre high school football programs! The possibilities are endless and really quite cinematic, which makes it too bad that the other football season plot, the one about the irritating cineaste punter, is going nowhere just as fast.

Judge Parker, 11/18/18

Oh, wow, I haven’t been keeping you up to date on Judge Parker, huh? Well, here’s what’s going on in Judge Parker: Judge Parker Senior is going to jail, finally.

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Funky Winkerbean, 11/2/18

So there’s been this whole Funky Winkerbean plotline where Wally (who now appears to be, like, 50?) and a Muslim woman named Adeela have been paired up by their professor on a project, with various flashbacks to his service in Iraq and others showing that she used to live in a country under U.S. occupation being offered as evidence of their unarticulated discomfort with each other. We all assumed that eventually they would learn to respect/understand/live with one another, obviously, because that’s how these kinds of plots work, but who could’ve predicted this extremely Funkyverse twist: the emotional turning point would come when they realize they had shared trauma in common! Let’s not argue about who invaded whose homeland and left it a ruin, or who held who as a POW for a decade leading everyone back home to think you were dead in violation of all history and reality. The point as that we both suffer involuntary panic attacks due to the horrible things we’ve seen and experienced in our life, so let’s hit the books and get to work on that project, OK?

Family Circus, 11/2/18

My absolute favorite thing about this is that Big Daddy Keane has chosen to give PJ, who is literally a baby, tiny plastic toys that would be a choking hazard for a child twice his age. And look how proud he is of himself! And how proud Mommy is of him! They’re definitely going to go upstairs and have sex, while Jeffy goes into anaphylactic shock and Billy pretends he knows how to read.