Archive: Funky Winkerbean

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Momma, 2/21/13

It’s funny because Momma is down to her last five bucks and her son is a thief.

Funky Winkerbean, 2/21/13

Many, many comic strips have terrible dialogue, but the dialogue in Funky Winkerbean and sister strip Crankshaft is terrible in its own unique way — not from lack of craft or attention (Hi, Crock!), but its very opposite. Stare at a simple line like “How’s your room?” long enough and you’ll start to ask yourself if readers will remember the characters are traveling, or maybe think the question is whether they have enough room, say, to swing their arms or something? Then it’s down the rabbit-hole: “How’s your hotel room?” could be any hotel, so let’s go with “How’s your room in the hotel” to make it clear this Esteemed Figure is staying at the main convention hotel and not some off-strip dive, then plaster “Music Educ Asso  t” on the wall for good measure. Despite all that work — no, because of it — you wind up with overwrought phrases that seem unambiguous, but which no actual human would ever utter: “solo car date”, “dead man’s singles”, or “space heater in the basement” (for “water heater”).

More fundamental is the Quip Fail at the heart of this strip. Hotel ratings use stars, not letters, so “B-flat hotel” makes no sense even coming from a band leader Music Educator. My guess is that the joke started out star-related — maybe Sousa’s The Stars and Stripes Forever? — and then got reworked into its present form. But if “B-flat hotel” is really your punchline, own it, don’t bury it in these wads of bumf. Put it at the end, where punchlines go: “I won’t be staying there much, so I don’t mind a B-flat hotel.” And spare us Beardo’s in-strip affirmation of your character’s dubious wit. Exactly.

Wizard of Id, 2/21/13

It’s funny because it’s not golf.

Crankshaft, 2/21/13

Got that? A joke. Now laugh, God damn you!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Pluggers, 2/19/13

Flea track and field.

Better Half, 2/19/13

Hey, Stanley — send that app on over to the folks at 9 Chickweed Lane, wouldya? Save ’em some typing.

9 Chickweed Lane, 2/19/13

Thanks, Stan. I’m sure they appreciate it — just look at those big smiles!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/19/13

Oh, poo. Looks like Our Honey isn’t challenging any normative gender constructs after all; she’s once, twice, three times a — well, I guess lady isn’t quite right either. Anyway, she made quite an impression on Rex there: look at him covering the smoking socket of the eye that was exposed to her naked ladyparts, or maybe he’s trying to pluck it out per Matthew 18:9? Either way, if that image could be pasted over the first panel of every comic ever, this blog wouldn’t need to do much else:

Funky Winkerbean, Mary Worth, Judge Parker, Crankshaft, 2/19/13 (panels, modified)

UPDATE — Hey, check out Faithful Reader Druj Nasu’s Automatic Rexifier, which Rexifies many, many more strips, and Faithful Reader Nehemiah Scudder’s Rex Agony Blank, which lets you play along at home. Thank you, Faithful Readers!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Panel from Slylock Fox, 2/10/13

Guys, it’s been a long time since we’ve checked in with Slylock and Cassandra Cat’s wrong-side-of-the-law romance. So, what’s up? Hmm, it seems that Cassandra has drunkenly driven up on Sly’s lawn in the middle of the night, and is now making up a fairly pathetic story about why exactly she’s there. “I just … I just happened to be driving this way and then … this squirrel, Granny Squirrel, I always knew she was trouble, she just … she just ran me right off the road! Do you live here? I didn’t even know you lived here. I must have forgotten, or whatever. Oh, hi, Max, you’re here too, I guess that’s not a surprise. Anyhoooo, I gotta … lemme just put this into reverse … unless … you want me to stay? I could … I mean, of course not, God, I’m so stupid, let me just … [weeping]”

Funky Winkerbean, 2/10/13

I know it seems kind of dumb to say this, but … I’m kind of worried about Funky Winkerbean? Like, look, it snowed, and there’s a flurry of activity and people are shoveling out and then A SAD OLD MAN SITS IN A DARKENED ROOM IN A WHEELCHAIR ALONE, LOOKING DOWN AT EVERYTHING HE CAN’T PARTICIPATE IN BECAUSE HE HAD A STROKE. I mean, that’s the punchline. That’s the punchline. This is one of those moments where I think, “Oh, is my stock joke about one of the strips I cover really accurate?” and then realize “Yes, it’s more horribly accurate than I could ever have wanted it to be.”

Curtis, 2/10/13

Whoa, instead of doing a boring old report about some guy he looked up on Wikipedia, Curtis wrote a media studies paper, examining racial attitudes in the United States through the lens of popular cinema! Sadly, this probably will in fact get him in trouble in elementary school.