Curtis, 8/6/24
Oh, you don’t think Curtis is cyber-savvy? Well, have you ever seen anyone post on a social media … in trinary numbers before?
Gasoline Alley, 8/6/24
“Anonymous,” huh? Wait a minute…
OH MY GOD
Gil Thorp, 8/6/24
Hey guys, you wanna see a guy hitting a golf ball? Today’s Gil Thorp is for you, my friends!
Bizarro, 8/6/24
What if an ape … wanted to have a job? Really makes you think, huh?
Blondie, 8/2/24
It’s always been very clear that Blondie takes place in one of the most whitebread towns imaginable, but I still think it’s pretty funny that (a) Lou knew that three years ago there would’ve been riots if he had tried to do anything with a Japanese theme so he just stuck to Olympic generics and (b) he also knew that even his “French” menu items had to actually just be American foods with “French” in the name, again, because of the riots. France! The country that loves meat and bread! The country that deep fries a ham sandwich and puts an egg on it! Once I was in Paris and I ordered something from the menu that that to my jet-lagged high-school-French-educated mind sounded good but I couldn’t quite figure out what it was and it turned out to be a plate of prosciutto with a stick of butter on it! And it was amazing! I think Dagwood, of all people, could handle it! Instead here he is, holding up an Olympic 10 scorecard that he presumably wrestled away from someone in his carpool because he’s not being offered anything “weird.” This is, in fact, profoundly sad.
Dennis the Menace, 8/2/24
I guess it’s not as sad as Mr. Wilson taking his Dennis Mitchell Derangement Syndrome everywhere he goes. George, this man has no idea who or what you’re talking about! He sees 20 patients a day and doesn’t remember who you are, he’s just reading something he scribbled last year on your chart! You’re embarrassing yourself!
Gasoline Alley, 8/2/24
Sorry I haven’t been keeping you up to date on Gasoline Alley but there was a little mishap involving Walt and the Frank Nelson tree cutter guy, where one thing led to another but it all worked out in the end and he got $500 knocked off his bill for his trouble, which means that he’s now able to do a little light insurance fraud, aided by the Almighty Himself.
Judge Parker, 8/2/24
“Ah shit! Once I realized that wasn’t my dad’s corpse in the water, I figured this was going to be some dark psychological trauma plotline and I didn’t have to tell anyone about it! I forgot that all middle aged men in this strip look pretty much exactly the same! Ah shit!”
Gil Thorp, 7/12/24
The beloved Gil Thorp bonfire tradition has been cancelled forever due to a nationwide wood shortage, which means we must console ourselves with a somewhat more recent and less beloved tradition, the Coach of the Year awards banquet (or “COTY,” as insiders call it). Two years ago Gil won it, and last year he won it again. This year the “most improved” award has gone to Gil’s former nemesis/current assistant, so all signs point to our hero taking the COTY home for a third year in a row. I think it’s nice that they’re letting him give it to himself this year.
Gasoline Alley, 7/12/24
I forgot to mention, there’s a new cute cat in Gasoline Alley that Gertie found and brought to Walt! You can see he’s already getting adjusted to his role in this strip (coquetteishly mugging to the reader as the human characters make extremely uninteristing wordplay at one another).
Marvin, 7/12/24
Sorry my intrusive thoughts about toilets yesterday got me distracted from the important thing here, which is that Marvin is doing a very depressing series of strips where dogs talk about all the things they’ve done wrong in their lives and can’t stop thinking about.
Shoe, 7/12/24
Do birds eat cicadas? Well, according to a post called “Circada Bird Feast Protocol” on the friendtocicadas dot org blog, which seems like an extremely reputable source, yes! So, sadly, this conversation is actually about how this boring little town will soon be beset by famine.