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Hi and Lois, 3/27/26

A thing about Hi and Lois and comic strip time that you really have to keep in mind is that Hi and Lois has been in newspapers with Trixie as one of its characters since 1954, but Hi and Lois just had their youngest child within the last year. She’s a baby! She’s pretty much brand new! That’s why it’s deeply psychotic to see them grinning broadly about how happy their bird friend is about being an empty nester. You just reset that clock! You’re nearly two decades out from singing this cheerful tune! Are you not listening to yourselves?

Pluggers, 3/27/26

Pluggers sing in the shower so their spouse will know they’re OK, and choose lyrics to reaffirm the fact that they’re bisexual and polyamorous. Yeah, that’s right! It’s 2026 now! Pluggers are bi and poly! Get on their level.

Gil Thorp, 3/27/26

I’m willing to follow Gil Thorp to a lot of places, so I would’ve accepted it if the strip had told me that this year’s golf program was going to get mildly interesting. But very interesting? Nope. Not buying it. This is golf we’re talking about, c’mon.

Crankshaft, 3/27/26

I’m sorry if my last Crankshaft post gave you the impression that the title character would be slowly and tragically fading away into senility over the coming months. In fact, he’s going to be very rapidly but still tragically smeared all over the highway in the next few minutes. I regret the error.

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Gil Thorp, 3/14/26

Emily “Mimi” Clover has, at various overlapping times, been Gil’s student, assistant coach, and wife. Now that she’s coaching Milford arch-rival Valley Tech, we’re in for a real “now the student/assistant coach/wife has become master” scenario, where she uses Gil’s own The Secret-inspired “think yourself win” techniques against him.

Pardon My Planet, 3/14/26

Pardon My Planet’s take on romantic partnerships is traditionally “they are the worst nightmares you can imagine and there is no escape,” so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised that when the strip finally depicts a loving relationship, it’s literally between two demons in the depths of hell.

Pluggers, 3/14/26

Pluggers have precious little free time remaining to them due to the huge amount of effort it takes to keep them alive, and they spend it playing golf. Sad!

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/7/26

Look, normally when an employer is reluctant to tell you his last name, that’s a red flag. But in this case, it’s just because he’s desperate to get someone working as a waitress because the notoriously sketchy Mud Mountain Murphy demands human companionship along with his food, which is honestly a much, much bigger red flag.

Blondie, 3/7/26

I continue to believe that Blondie is America’s most important window into the Boomer mindset, and what it reveals is that the Boomers love setting their phones on speaker and yelling into them more than anything. For once, Blondie’s weird rictus facial expression is actually kind of appropriate here. “Are you talking on speaker to a wrong number while I’m reading? Do I have that right? Is that happening right now?”

Gil Thorp, 3/7/26

Big news, everyone! Mimi has decided to not marry her girlfriend. Instead, she’s just going to get all her romantic and sexual satisfaction out of watching her ex-husband screw up. Oh, is Gil’s mother being a pain? Not Mimi’s problem anymore, and she’s loving it.