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Bizarro, 7/28/26

Well, I’m excited to see that Bizarro’s Crash Test Dummies Stories weren’t just for Uncle Lumpy; now we’re fully into week two and things are getting dark. What do you mean you’re comparing your beloved to a brick wall, the very thing you and she are hurled painfully against over and over again day after day, and what do you mean she’s purring in delight at the comparison? Can’t believe they put this in the newspaper where anyone could see it, if anyone read the newspaper.

Gil Thorp, 7/28/26

Speaking of things that are still happening, the wedding of Gil Thorp is still happening in Gil Thorp, and today we learn that Marty Moon has finished his transformation from boring-ass high school sports radio reporter to multi-hyphenate content creator and influencer by becoming a DJ. Sorry if the first dance at your wedding is ruined by the DJ shouting “I’m [reggaeton airhorn] DJ MOON” every 15 seconds, but Marty has a #brand to maintain and/or establish.

Hi and Lois, 7/28/26

I really enjoy the drawing of Lois in panel one here, an asymmetrical close-up that lets you see how her face is assembled out of a series of curves. I also like how unsettled she looks in panel two. Does the suffering of some people bring profit to others? Is that truly the world we’re living in?

Archie, 7/28/26

A fun thing you realize reading Archie comics as an adult is that, despite the fact that their target audience is teenagers, a lot of them are actually about how teenagers are annoying and kind of stupid.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/17/26

Wow, this is actually really depressing to me. I thought that Uncle (?) Rene was a mentor in scammery to his nieces — but part of being a mentor is telling hard truths to the upcoming generation so they can improve their craft! If fake busking is as dumb an idea as it seems, Jean and Jane need to hear it from someone they trust before they dedicate too much time and energy into it! You know, boomers complain about “everyone gets a trophy” culture but they were the ones handing out the trophies. Step up, Rene, for the future of scamdom!

Family Circus, 7/17/26

Even the best parents sometimes run out of patience and snap at their kids and say things they regret, and when their kids act out on the pain they feel by passing it along to their own toys in heartbreaking moments of “make-believe” that are all too real, that’s … funny? Parents find this cute, and would cut it out and hang it on the fridge, for others to look at?

Gil Thorp, 7/17/26

Ha ha, that all got kind of grim! Well, here’s some happy news: Gil Thorp’s finally getting married! Well, I guess it’s not happy if you were hoping to snag him yourself. All I can say is that you’ve had three and a half years to work on that, and it hasn’t worked out, plus he’s a character in a comic strip. Move on, already!

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Gil Thorp, 6/23/26

I love the abrupt emotional turn Gil takes in panel three: he lowers his sunglasses over his eyes to hide the flash of anger, but we can still see the bitter scowl on his face. Jet fuel is a miracle, making it possible for machines to hurtle through the air at hundreds of miles an hour and bringing the world within reach of ordinary people in just a few hours. Major geopolitical actors have been unable to resolve their disputes peacefully and have disrupted the flow of this amazing substance, raising the price of air travel beyond many people’s ability to pay, and frankly, it makes Gil sick just to think about it.

Archie, 6/23/26

Cell phones may have destroyed human attention spans, filled public spaces with inescapable, annoying noise, and even sabotaged our species’s ability to reproduce itself, but at least we no longer have to suffer the indignity of missing a phone call as depicted in this 1990s Archie rerun, so who’s to say if they’re good or bad?

Luann, 6/23/26

Look, I dunno man, Brad and Toni are still having sex in the shower, right here in the funny pages in front of the children, so what am I supposed to do, not tell you about it? I do kind of like how prominent Brad’s wedding ring is in panel one. They’re married so this series of erotic drawings is tasteful and wholesome, actually.