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Archive: Gil Thorp

131

Monday is for heroes, sort of

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Hi and Lois, 5/25/26

I feel like I’m one of the last pedants holding onto this fact, but Memorial Day is not for remembering all who served; that’s Veterans Day, in November. Memorial Day is for remembering all who died while serving. Died like the food you’re shoving down your gullet, Thirsty. Like all life forms, and like the modern nation-state, we feed on death!

Luann, 5/25/26

“Hop on it! By ‘it’ I mean your wife, who also works here, whom I urge you to mount and inseminate. Remember, climate change will make our jobs harder and harder, until we lose the battle against fire and society collapses!”

Gil Thorp, 5/25/26

Hey, remember all those teen golfers we met? Well, they died. They fuckin’ died. But the important thing is that Gil’s team beat the team coached by his ex-wife, so their sacrifice was not in vain.

171

It’s called “object permanence for relationships” and Tommy has yet to develop it

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Gil Thorp, 5/20/26

Somehow, this extremely long golf match that has pitted Gil and his ex Mimi against one another in a battle of golfing coaching acumen is still happening, but I have to say I really enjoy the sequence today. In panel one, Mimi and Anthony McKee flash thumbs-ups at each other: “Remember, you’re not going to fuck up this time, right?” “Right!” Panel two: Anthony fucks up. Panel three: “Whoopsie! Sorry I fucked up!” Only Gil can get away with this coaching technique, Mimi.

Pluggers, 5/20/26

I was going to do a “Ha ha, it’s funny…” bit here, but you know what? It’s not funny at all! Due to old age and ill health, pluggers’ mobility is in decline, and they haven’t taken measures that will allow them to live safely in their own home. Don’t be like pluggers! Stay in shape as long as you can, and be aware of your limitations before it’s too late!

Mary Worth, 5/20/26

“Anyway, thank God she’s in a normal, healthy relationship now with me, a guy who can’t distinguish between ‘my girlfriend is in another city’ and ‘my girlfriend dumped me!’”

204

You don’t get into advanced gaslighting until college

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Gil Thorp, 5/12/26

The Vegas sportsbooks have had a rough last few years. In 2018, the Supreme Court ruled in Murphy v. National Collegiate Athletic Association that states could set up their own regimes of regulated sports betting, and many did, leading to a flurry of betting apps available on every phone; then in early 2025, Kalshi, a “prediction market” that let users bet on any upcoming events and that claimed to be a futures market and thus regulated by the federal government, decided that betting on sporting events was just another kind of predicting and because they were under federal jurisdiction, they could offer sports betting everywhere, even in states that banned it. Still, I don’t know if “betting on high school golf” is what’s going to bail Vegas out on this one, though maybe they signed some kind of deal with the Valley Conference back when they were doing prison football, which you have to admit is more exciting.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 5/12/26

I’m not a big fan of the way that mermaids in Mother Goose and Grimm are depicted as just kind of floating around even when they’re not in the water. I’m also not a big fan of the really numb facial expression on this undersea king’s face; like, he’s not outraged or horrified, he just spent a minute looking at an old acquaintance — not a friend, really, but someone he knew enough to talk to, knew about his family — all dead and fried and sitting in a cardboard box and eventually he thought, you know what, I can’t bring myself to eat this one. But that’s a lot grimmer to think about, so I’m going to mostly complain about the floating thing instead. Are we expected to believe this is some sort of underwater fast food restaurant, despite the presence of a normal human guy behind the counter? C’mon.

Curtis, 5/12/26

Hmm, I don’t know, Curtis, I actually think that learning how to recognize when your boss is using company resources to indulge his own obsessions to the detriment of the health and safety of the organization and its employees is a pretty useful skill in the professional world! But then, so is gaslighting, so I do honestly see both sides here.