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Dustin, 1/8/19

It may not have been obvious from the Dustins I’ve showcased here but the gimmick of Dustin is that Dustin is a 23-year-old college graduate who has moved back in with his parents and is having Failure To Launch problems. As a Gen-Xer, I am a neutral party in the raging war between Baby Boomers and Millennials, and I hereby declare that Dustin is really shitty in its treatment of young people! Like surely there is humor to be mined from this conflict of worldviews but instead we get things like today, “Ha ha, youths can’t hold down a job because they just spontaneously fall asleep all the time! Meanwhile, the ADULTS who MADE THIS COUNTRY WHAT IT IS TODAY are going to enjoy some LEGITIMATE HIGHBROW CULTURE.”

Gil Thorp, 1/8/19

I appreciate it when bit players in the comics really give it their all in the one or two panels they appear. It’s subtle, but I’m particularly enjoying the “ain’t I a stinker?” realness being served up by the employee of [squints] S-Kybomi Outdoor Media Solutions here. This may be the Best Performance By A Working-Class Guest Character In A Continuity Comic since 2014’s iconic “Man In Hat Who Doesn’t Care About Doc Ock’s Runaway Tentacles Enjoys Sandwich.”

Six Chix, 1/8/19

As we all know, you can take an expensive vacation to Paris, go to the Louvre, get lost in the Louvre, get annoyed by the Louvre, realize that you could do a comic about your experience at the Louvre, get paid to do that comic, and then write the entire cost of your trip off on your taxes. But can you write the cost of a trip to Paris off on your taxes if you just make fun a comic doing that? We’ll see what my accountant says! Fingers crossed!

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Gil Thorp, 1/7/18

So obviously we all knew that this billboards thing would end up as an attack on Coach Thorp, but I don’t think we were prepared for how hilariously nonspecific the accusations would end up being. “Wait!” cried Robby, of the titular report dot com. “I just meant ‘save the kids from his half-assed coaching!’” But it was too late: just hours after the #pizzagate and #qanon crowds saw the billboard posted on Reddit, the doxxing swiftly followed, and the angry mob had burned down the Thorps’ house, Kelly’s travel agency, and, just be safe, Milford High itself.

Mary Worth, 1/7/18

“I’m just going to wear these black armbands to symbolize my mourning for the trust in our marriage that’s now dead! He’ll get the hint!”

Shoe, 1/7/18

“And it seemed weird at first, but, like, we’re birds who wear clothes, you know? I mean, I’m wearing clothes. You’re wearing a shirt and shoes but no pants for whatever reason. Who can really explain the world-building here, right? Anyway, this dog is my sister, I guess.”

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Psst! Mary Worth fans! Mary Worth And Me, the indispensable blog from faithful reader Wanders, is once again showcasing the best of the past year’s worth of Mary Worth in its annual Worthy Awards! You can vote in such important categories as “Outstanding Performance by an Inconsequential Character,” “Panel of the Year,” and, of course, the coveted “Outstanding Performance by a Floating Head.” Your vote matters, so vote soon!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/3/19

Doc Pritchard sure looks pretty beat down by his lot in that second panel, doesn’t he? I wonder if he’s depressed because of his continuing failure to make Hootin’ Holler’s residents aware of how unhealthy a diet heavy in smoked meats can be — or if he’s actually succeeded, but his canny patients are now paying him in a currency that’s rapidly devaluing as a result of his efforts. In other, less surprising news, the rutted byways of Hootin’ Holler are clogged with roaming packs of semi-feral dogs.

Crock, 1/3/19

Crock’s Foreign Legion detachment is based in an isolated fort surrounded by a hostile, barely subjugated colonial population, and so it probably relies on supplies from the metropole to avoid starvation. A violent overthrow of the fort’s commanding officer, no matter how cruel and incompetent he might be, will certainly be seen as an act of rebellion against the French Republic, and so our heroes are likely to be cut off from any outside support, at least until they can successfully negotiate an amnesty. Thus, the coup plotters need to ensure that the fort’s cook and his staff are on their side and prepared for the hardship to come! But they’re being kind of half-assed about it, in my opinion.

Mark Trail, 1/3/19

When your child and his friend are in danger and you ask a police officer if he has good news about them, you definitely want the sentence to begin with “Yes,” and definitely do not want the sentence to end with “…in case it turns into a hostage situation.”

Gil Thorp, 1/3/19

Oh, man, is Mike Filion being super annoying all time time with his obsessive references to That ’70s Show because he’s … too horny? Coach Kaz is going to investigate, and it’s gonna get real uncomfortable!