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Archive: Gil Thorp

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“Maybe you can help me fish my tie out of my pants later, honey, heh heh”

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Mary Worth, 2/26/19

Oh my God this elderdating plot is going to involved a nonstop parade of wizened, horny old men who lied about their age on their dating profile slouching lustily at Estelle and I am extremely here for it. Very excited for this rugged, weathered gentleman to explain that the “old” was a typo and he meant to say that he’d been a widower ever since his wife died of natural causes 63 years ago.

Gil Thorp, 2/26/19

I’m not sure why Marty’s latest crusade to get Gil fired is so different from every other campaign he’s ever waged to get Gil fired that he feels obliged to personally and insincerely apologize to Mimi about it when he runs into her public. I do, however, absolutely love the image of him so gobsmacked that he just stands there, holding his mug of delicious, frosty beer at waist level. Maybe it’s a precursor to him dropping it to the floor in shock, which I’m imagining now happening in slow motion! Anyway, my favorite person in today’s strip is actually the eavesdropping dude in panel one who’s looking at the reader with an expression that says “I come here for the happy hour drinks and appetizers but I stay for the drama.”

Beetle Bailey, 2/26/19

Ha ha, computer nerd Chip Gizmo, who’s supposed to be installing Microsoft Office and making sure staff officers’ computers don’t have too much porn malware on them, thinks he’s a real soldier and is fighting the “enemy” — with computers! What an extremely silly scenario that definitely isn’t happening in real life!

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Mimi saw Marty’s goatee and thought she was in the mirror universe for a second

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Gil Thorp, 2/22/19

You know, I joke about how everyone in Milford is obsessed with high school sports, but we could be getting a skewed view into this town because so many of our characters work for the Milford High athletics department. Gil and Kaz seem to only seem to socialize with each other, occasionally dragging their partners along for double dates, but it seems that Mimi does in fact close, rewarding friendships of her own, in the form of these three women who we’ve literally never seen before in the 14 years I’ve been reading this strip! Anyhoo, because true friendship means hating your friends’ enemies, Mimi’s pals are furious that Marty Moon has dared to, uh, come into a public place to exchange money for goods and services. Mimi knows that the best way to defuse the awkward social situation that arises when you bump into a nemesis in public is to do some elaborate pantomime that really draws attention to yourself.

Hi and Lois, 2/22/19

I love how genuinely crestfallen Chip looks in the second panel. “You mean that I’ve been a sullen dick for my entire adolescence and my room is a borderline health hazard and mom … doesn’t love it? Who could’ve predicted!”

Pluggers, 2/22/19

You’re a plugger if you buy one of the pricier kinds of vegetables and immediately throw it into the garbage disposal just to make some kind of point.

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Mark’s chitinous exoskeleton will definitely come in handy here

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Mark Trail, 2/19/19

Hell yeah everyone, the seemingly eternal Mexican vacation is over and Chris “Dirty” Dyer is back and ready for revenge! “Dirty” was last seen lounging erotically on a beach somewhere almost a year ago in between bouts of knife-thorwing practice, and by all means follow that link for a bunch of other links that explain who he is and what his beef is with Mark, but the important thing is that “Dirty” has given up on knives and moved on to flamethrowers, and is now using one to melt what appears to be a simulation of Mark Trail, only blonde, and made out of … candle wax, maybe? Or plastic? A plastic mannequin devoid of emotions and genitals, much like Mark himself? Anyway, I hope this presages the final conflict between Mark and “Dirty”, but probably this glimpse is supposed to tide us over while we endure another 10 months of Mark writing a story about [spins wheel] endangered frogs and getting mixed up in a [spins wheel again] insurance fraud scheme.

Mary Worth, 2/19/19

Hell yeah once again everyone, the seemingly eternal Ian-Jannie plot is over and now Mary is back and gonna get her friend Estelle laid! Not sure what this bodes for Libby, who Mary only fobbed off on Estelle because she missed her dead husband, but we’ll deal with that when we need to! The important thing is that Estelle “miss[es] having a man around,” if you know what she means (she means sex). If fortysomething Iris can bed a 23-year-old millionaire, elegant Blythe Danner lookalike Estelle should at least be able to woo a 45-year-old with a steady job and health insurance.

Gil Thorp, 2/19/19

An interesting contrast between the public and private sectors here! It looks like yet another concerned citizen — the real customers of the Milford school district — has come to the conclusion that Gil Thorp sucks, but since Gil and everyone else at the school have cushy union jobs, they don’t have to respect anyone else’s opinion or even try to stop sucking! Meanwhile, in the cut-throat, free market world of sports radio focusing exclusively on high schools, B/Robby has already shown he can beat Marty Moon at the metrics the station owners care about, so he’s about to climb the corporate latter at Marty’s expense. The system works!