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Gil Thorp, 6/28/13

I think we can all agree that it’s been a long week we’ve just slogged through and we deserve a little reward. That reward has been handed to us by Gil Thorp, in the form of an old man in a Hawaiian shirt dealing out some brutal vigilante justice on some young thugs. These punks were insulting the nice “!”ing lady who just wanted to take their order at this fast food restaurant, and when this elderly gent tried to school them in manners, they crossed the line and drew first blood shove, leading to a wholly justified judo-throw “who-o-a!” followed by a meaty face-punch “WUD!” Does this herald at long last a bonkers wacky Gil Thorp summer storyline, like the kind we got in days of yore? Let’s hope!

Marvin, 6/28/13

But because I am a cruel blogger who taketh away joy as well as giveth, let me direct your attention to this image of Marvin wryly contemplating his new sexy dominatrix baby sitter.

Marmaduke, 6/28/13

SEE SEE IT’S NOT JUST ME MARMADUKE’S A MONSTER A MONSTER I TELL YOU

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Mary Worth, 6/21/13

Good news, everybody! Thanks to Mary’s fairly mild scolding and Tom’s ill-advised surprise-proposal, Elinor isn’t opposed to Tom and Beth’s love at all anymore! In fact, she’s in favor of it. Suspiciously strongly in favor of it, actually. Today she lets slip what her real epiphany was: if she lets Tom marry Beth and move into their apartment with him (obviously he’ll be moving into their apartment with them), she’ll have two soft touches to bully and push around, not just one! “I’ll even exceed those standards,” thinks Tom. But you won’t, Tom, you really won’t.

Herb and Jamaal, 6/21/13

Since this is clearly a reference to the bonkers ending of “The Rains of Castamere,” an episode of Game of Thrones that aired a mere 19 days ago, this is probably the most topical and specific Herb and Jamaal ever written. I guess by leaving out the actual name or description of the episode they can reuse it any time the show decides to freak everyone out with insane carnage, which I imagine will be fairly regularly.

Gil Thorp, 6/21/13

Actually, it looks Jimmy is smugly rubbing in the fact that the Foleys are as bad at baseball as they are at suing people. But, you know, Coaches Thorp and Kaz have pretty strict rules about cutting off all contact with their players the moment the season ends, so let’s let them have their little moment of self-delusion.

Judge Parker, 6/21/13

Soooo … I guess we’re done with even the pretense that Judge Parker Senior is a character we’re supposed to like?

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Shoe, 6/19/13

Longtime readers of my blog know about one of my main beefs with Shoe: the Goggle Eyes of Horror that often appear in the final panel. These have the effect of implying that someone has uttered some unspeakable nightmare-sentence, when usually they’re making a gentle and dumb pun. Today’s instance of this visual trope has me particularly baffled/enraged. Frito the Parrot (and let’s just stop for a minute to acknowledge: FRITO THE PARROT, ye gods) has met a comely she-parrot at Parrots Without Partners! Assuming you’ve accepted a terrifying world of sentient talking birds, this is a perfectly reasonable name for an organization that arranges parrot-on-parrot romance, so it’s not clear why Shoe would be so shocked; the name’s a spoof of an actual organization, Parents Without Partners, but presumably Shoe would be thoroughly unaware of that, since the protective barrier between his reality and ours remains intact, last I looked. All I can assume is that Shoe, who has been shown to flirt with sexy lady birds of multiple species, is appalled at Frito’s racist decision to join an ethnically pure parrots-only dating service.

Gil Thorp, 6/19/13

Gil Thorp remains unspeakably dull, but I always feel obliged to alert you when we finally get to that point in the season where whatever Milford team we’re paying attention to fails to win a championship. And here we are!