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Update — Well, we ran out of JP and RMMD magnets mid-afternoon EDT on Tuesday, May 14. Thank you generous (and fast!) readers! Contributors at the $15 level will now receive a favorite Josh panel from the last few months, matted for framing and signed by Josh, or at their option a Margo bracelet. Thanks again!

Hey, it’s the Comics Curmudgeon Spring 2013 Fundraiser! It’s your hard-earned money — squander it here, and receive a one-of-a-kind Judge Parker or Rex Morgan, M.D. refrigerator magnet for contributions of $15 or more. Thank you!

Apartment 3-G, 5/14/13

“You don’t understand, Margo: I don’t want to be transported to the frontiers of ecstasy in the masterful hands of some handsome Italian Lothario — I want to have FUN. With my MOM.”

Meanwhile, Lu Ann sees herself in a mirror!

Momma, 5/14/13

Ah, but some daughters know what fun is, and a mother’s role in it. As Sonya speaks, Marylou Hobbs imagines herself tanned and radiant in half of her revealing new swimsuit, striding confidently toward her lover across the deck of his yacht lying at anchor in azure waters gleaming under a benevolent Mediterranean sun — her mother nowhere aboard, in mind, or accessible even in the deepest reaches of her memory.

Sonya’s bullying logic shocks her from her reverie, and she struggles to respond:

Heathcliff, 5/14/13

Heathcliff’s campaign to bend mice to his will is well documented, but only now does its purpose become clear. The mice are but pawns in his scheme to scare the neighborhood elephant into wreaking Heathcliff’s terrible vengeance upon the hated dogs. Who will be next? Are we humans safe? I don’t think we’re safe.

Gil Thorp, 5/14/13

Gil Thorp spices up its spring baseball story with a little constitutional law. You know, to make it interesting.

Wizard of Id, 5/14/13

Id spearchuckers have terrifying asses.

— Uncle Lumpy

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Gil Thorp, 4/4/13

So the Gil Thorp baseball season plot so far has been “Foley is annoying and also wants to be a lawyer like his dad,” which, booorrr-ing. But it’s always good to see Marty Moon back in the wooden packing crate that he huddles inside to call Milford games with his trademark thermos full of hooch. Did he have a laptop in there with him before? Does he have a laptop in there with him now? Is that “laptop” just one of those fake cardboard laptops they have to take up space on desks in furniture stores?

Judge Parker, 4/4/13

Haha, now we see why April didn’t want to invite Randy’s parents to their wedding: because the ceremony will take place behind the barbed wire surrounding the compound of her father’s apocalyptic death cult, deep in the Yucatan rain forest. And it won’t be so much a “wedding ceremony” as an “invocation to the Lords of the Dead, inviting them to drink the steaming blood of the mewling human sacrifice once known as ‘Randy.'”

Heathcliff, 4/4/13

Meanwhile, Heathcliff is single-handedly battling one of the tentacled Dread Elder Gods on behalf of those of us residing on this plane of existence, and, in unrelated news, some guy just wants pepperoni on his pizza.

Apartment 3-G, 4/4/13

“Yeah, it helps familiarize the public with businesses and nonprofits they might be interested in … ‘publicizes’ them, you might say. If only we knew someone who was up on that sort of thing!”

Wizard of Id, 4/4/13

Ha ha, yes, “The Hobbit,” that sure was a pop cultural phenomenon that saw a spike in interest several months ago! Anyway, not gonna lie to you guys, it took me a while to figure out that the Wiz was pointing at this dude’s feet.

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Apartment 3-G, 3/19/13

It seems cruel to leave Lu Ann just standing there crying a single noble tear and sobbing monosyllabically, but since some kindly off-panel person is about to console her, we can instead turn our attention to some exciting retro-continuity! Something you may not know: there was an Apartment 3-G storyline in the ’60s in which Lu Ann got married to Gary Powers, only to be quickly widowed when the young man was shot down over Vietnam. Gary came up a year and a half ago in the course of her engagement to Paul, at which point their marriage was put “seven years ago,” and now while it’s hard to read that tombstone’s death date he definitely appears to have died too young in the mid-’00s, presumably in one of our more recent wars. What’s the motivation for giving Lu Ann closure now? Would it be to help her finally find true love for real? Possibly with some nice older gentleman who haunts Arlington Cemetery, comforting war widows, in one of the creepiest meet-cutes in history?

Spider-Man, 3/19/13

It turns out Daredevil told Spider-Man to see Matt Murdoch just so that the two of them would learn each other’s secret identities! Is this how superheroes make friends? It seems a little forced.

Mark Trail, 3/19/13

It’s lucky for Rod Bassy and Catfish that there isn’t anyone within shouting distance, because that gag appears to just be kind of lightly resting on Rusty’s mouth and not actually preventing him in any way from talking. Since they’re planning on leaving him alone soon, I guess we’ll find out if they’re any better at tying knots!

Gil Thorp, 3/19/13

BASEBALL SEASON STORYLINE IS HERE EVERYBODY! It looks like as usual Gil Thorp will present a plot about high school athletics torn from the headlines: the dangers of kids playing non-contact sports suffering concussions when they slip on ice weeks before the season even starts.