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Funky Winkerbean, 6/29/12

I had never given it much thought, but I can see why Les, a goateed self-styled intellectual, would feel a certain affection for Snowball, the character in Animal Farm meant to represent Leon Trotsky. It’s more of a stretch, but I’d even be willing to see Les and Funky’s sometimes strained friendship as a metaphor for the relationship between Trotsky and Stalin. You know, anything to move us along to the part where Les gets killed in Mexico by a guy with an axe.

Gasoline Alley, 6/29/12

So this week Gasoline Alley abruptly pulled away from its extremely mildly entertaining storyline about a demon-haunted cat to instead focus on Skeezix’s problems with his electronic equipment. “How could this get any more boring?” I said, but then I got to today’s strip and I was all like “Oh.”

Gil Thorp, 6/29/12

“You know, come over here unannounced and then whine to your two-year-old son about his athletic failures. I can’t decide if it’s more creepy or more pathetic. Is there a word that combines the two? Creepthetic?”

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Blondie, 6/27/12

It’s always the glasses-wearing nerdlinger in the office who’s the first to clue you in on how to use cutting-edge high-tech stuff like “Google search” for work.

Ziggy, 6/27/12

Ziggy’s parrot has taken the liberty of whiting out all the typos in the newspaper, with bird poop.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/27/12

A hitherto unexplored source of Funkyverse misery: local law enforcement is willing and able to dish out brutal beatings to anyone who even hints at DUI or illegal alcohol production.

Hi and Lois, 6/27/12

I originally read Trixie’s “I hope Dawg can wait that long” as a poignant reminder that our pets’ lifespans are shorter than ours, and that Dawg might not still be around by the time Trixie is old enough to take him for a walk. But then I realized it was just a joke about how Dawg is about to pee all over the rug.

Gil Thorp, 6/27/12

Man, with all the exciting teen pregnancy action, Gil Thorp neglected to tell us that the boy’s baseball team was on the verge of winning a championship! Don’t worry, though, they didn’t.

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Luann, 6/19/12

Thank goodness Luann has recently made some ham-handed attempts to condemn bullying, because now we know how to recognize bullying in action. These two friends are playing a trick on someone they don’t like, which will probably leave her feeling humiliated and ashamed! Oh, wait, what’s that? The two friend characters are defined as good within the context of the strip, and the other one is defined as bad? Whoops, sorry, it’s not bullying at all, just a gal who’s too sexy having her sexy feelings turned against her! Sorry for the confusion. We hope that today’s final panel can at least inspire you with erotic feelings as well as deserved satisfaction at this harlot’s comeuppance.

Gil Thorp, 6/19/12

In today’s Gil Thorp, a cunningly placed word balloon labels a teen mom (whom other players’ parents tried to force off the team lest she inspire the other softball players to sluttery) as a MILF, which normally would be pretty horrifying but after that Luann ick it just kinda seems like good clean fun.

Apartment 3-G, 6/19/12

OK, I’ve never experienced labor myself, but my understanding is that one does not go directly from “I am feeling discomfort that could be reasonably construed as the stomach flu” to “Oh my God I am in such excruciating pain that I cannot get myself downstairs to a cab or even crawl into the hallway to alert other people in this apartment building to my plight.” Though I suppose it’s possible that Nina has long ago alienated all her neighbors with her imperious behavior and so she figures it’s better to give birth alone than to beg one of them for help. Anyway, our poor little rich girl seems to be bucking up in the final panel, which is too bad considering that she’s sitting in a rapidly spreading pool of inky blackness, which presumably heralds the arrival of whatever hell-demon is gestating in her womb.

Mark Trail, 6/19/12

“He’ll never be able to outrun us! Not with those absurdly tiny feet!”