Post Content

B.C., 4/19/06

See, here’s the thing: “an eclipse of the sun” and “night”: not the same thing. Having long waged war on biology, B.C. has apparently decided to move on to astronomy next.

Hey, look at what’s-his-name’s face in the second panel! He hates this just as much as we do.

Gil Thorp, 4/19/06

Wow, Gil looks pretty pissed off in panel three. I think his motivation for this little heart-to-heart with the Rap Dog is less “Here’s a kid who could really benefit from a college education — if only he’d get motivated!” and more “God damn it, I thought I was finally going to be rid of him — if this hump is still hanging around this town next year, I will have to kill him.”

The Middletons, 4/19/06

Ha ha, it’s funny because his mother wants to harvest his organs! Wait, did I say “funny”? I meant “horrifying.”

Post Content

Before I take on today’s comics, I must briefly touch on two things I shamefully neglected yesterday. First off, it looks as if the new Sunday Phantom storyline is going to be moving in on Mark Trail’s environmentalism turf, since the latter is focusing its energy on a two-fisted libertarian crusade against eminent domain:

I’m looking forward to teasers like “Next: Peak oil!” and “Next: Gale Norton and Dirk Kempthorne are tools of the logging industry!” But what really strikes me is the fact that not 24 hours after this comic appeared, Wikipedia presented Retreat of glaciers since 1850 as its feature article. Behold the power and influence of the Ghost-Who-Supports-The-Swift-Implementation-Of-The-Kyoto-Protocol!

In other news, Rex Morgan allowed his big brown eyes and pretty little mouth to get dangerously close to Dr. Troy’s crotch.

Moving on to today’s funnies:

Gil Thorp, 4/17/06

You know how Disney has this digitally animated film called The Wild, about some zoo animals that escape and have to deal with the real wilderness, and between this, that, and the other thing it took them, like, nine years to make, and then a year before they released it Dreamworks put out Madagascar, which had essentially the same plot, and then Disney was all like, “Hey! We had that idea first!” but it didn’t matter because Madagascar came out first and by all accounts was better anyway? Well, Gil Thorp can try all it wants to say, “We’ve been setting up the Brent-‘Rap Dog’-has-his-attempts-to-lose-weight-get-undermined-by-his-scary-white-trash-mother” storyline set up since last March!” but the truth is that this psychodrama is already underway over in Mary Worth, so y’all were a little late to pull the trigger.

Meanwhile, if Allen Ginsberg is condemned to haunt Judge Parker, then from the look of things Divine is trapped in Gil Thorp for all eternity. I know this is applies to every episode of this strip ever, but that hair is whack.

Apartment 3-G, 4/17/06

So, before she can leave on her vacation, Tommie has to euthanize this old lady for Hillary Clinton?

Post Content

Family Circus, 4/11/06

Ah, the desperate stab for relevance! See, Sudoku’s all popular now, and it’s Japanese, and … heh. Relevance. You see. Well, as a typical reader, let me assure you: it didn’t work. The Family Circus appears right under the Sudoku puzzle in my paper, but it still didn’t make this cartoon relevant or funny.

Also, this cartoon? Deeply racist. Sudoku means roughly “Single number,” and it’s an abbreviation for a larger phrase that means “the numbers must occur only once” (“Suuji wa dokushin ni kagiru”). It is not, in fact, anybody’s name. Keep right on writing those letters to the editor, Sarah Ditmars.

Sally Forth, 4/11/06

This is an awesome meta-moment … but Ces, you tease us. We all know that whatever Ted’s new job is, it won’t be as good as any of these.

In addition: Tan shirt? Just-one-shade-darker tan pants? Electric blue tie? Ted Forth is not gay, everybody.

Gil Thorp, 4/11/06

I think the commentor who suggested that Trey Davis’ t-shirt is foreshadowing has hit the nail on the flat-topped head: Gil Thorp must be determined to match Funky Winkerbean and Doonesbury with a depressing Iraq War storyline of its own. Of more immediate concern is the snoopy reporter in panel three, who is clearly Andy Dick in a bad wig.

Luann, 4/11/06

Hey Gunther, even if she did want you to put on a dog suit, this is girl who you forced to dress up as a giant pen at a comics convention in your doomed bid for fame last year. You might want to dial down the self-righteousness while you’re adjusting the invisible control panel on your forehead there.