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Blondie, 3/14/23

Normally, the purpose of Blondie is to deliver laughs to comics lovers everywhere assure its readers, who are on average shockingly old, that their instinctual distrust and loathing of any novel cultural or technical developments from the past three decades are well founded. Unfortunately, today’s strip misses the mark, as pickleball is a trend that is almost entirely driven by Blondie’s core demographic of semi-active seniors. Ironically, this makes the exchange here, in which a couple of fortysomething guys express bewilderment about it, sort of loop around back to making sense again.

Beetle Bailey, 3/14/23

Big news, everyone! The good folks at Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC have become aware of the existence of app-based food delivery services! Based on today’s strip, they definitely think that they’re just restaurants that you can use your phone to order food from, but it’s a start.

Hagar the Horrible, 3/14/23

Ha ha, it’s funny because the physical injuries Lucky Eddie has suffered in combat pale in comparison to his mental and spiritual trauma, yet his supposed best friend Hagar is positively gleeful at the thought of sending him back into battle!

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Blondie, 3/10/23

Newspaper comics version of horseshoe theory: when new-look Mark Trail and eternally old-look Blondie come to the same position on cryptocurrency and the blockchain.

Gasoline Alley, 3/10/23

Say what you will about Gasoline Alley, but it absolutely nails the experience of having a long, rambling, irritating conversation with an old person that goes nowhere.

Hagar the Horrible, 3/10/23

In terms of “comic strip wives that might be interested in a three-way,” I wouldn’t have put Helga at the top of the list, but to be honest I wouldn’t have put her at the bottom either.

Hi and Lois, 3/10/23

I’ve never had a large enough home to be blessed with my own man cave; are they for … masturbating? Is that what you guys are doing in there? Jerking off? That’s sure what I’m getting from today’s Hi and Lois!

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Marvin, 3/3/23

If, like me, you are hopelessly addicted to the Twitter dot com website, you’ve been following the company’s latest drama for a while now and thinking “When? When will it be over? When will the site truly crack up so I can finally be free?” Well, I’m not going to say that Marvin doing a joke where the whole punchline is the fact that Marvin says the word “tweet” is the final nail in the coffin, but I think it could be a sign that our salvation isn’t far off.

Mary Worth, 3/3/23

“It’s like people want to pay me to kill their pets but then want me to keep them alive at no cost! Shouldn’t it be the other way around? It’s a topsy-turvy world and I can’t handle it anymore!”

Hagar the Horrible, 3/3/23

Bad news, everyone: Hagar the Horrible, the famous viking, is dead! Looks like he and his men pillaged the wrong castle and he suffered major, catastrophic organ damage from multiple arrow wounds. RIP Hagar the Horrible, c. 895-c. 925.