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Herb and Jamaal, 10/25/05

We don’t get Herb and Jamaal in the paper anymore, so I had to act this one out for Mrs. C. (I don’t think I have to explain why I felt a need to share the content of this particular strip.) Anyway, her response was, “Isn’t that what married life is about? Spitting milk back into containers for one another?” Then she (an aficionado of soy milk) followed up with: “Anyway, I don’t give a shit if you do that, because I don’t drink cow juice.” So there you have it, folks: I’ve been given a green light to not only drink milk right of the container, but also to spit it back into said container. And, since I have no interest in soy goo, she’s got a similar free pass on spewing hers back into the handy-seal box it comes out of. I guess the lesson here is: if you come to our house, bring your own milk.

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Gasoline Alley, Herb and Jamaal, and Kudzu, 10/5/05

There’s nothing that brings out humor better than the interplay of two opposing minds! Yes, it’s the back and forth between two different points of view, and the zingers that well-formed characters can throw back and forth at one another when they’re versed in each other foibles, that really form the core of sparkling wit — nay, heart the comedic enterprise itself.

Or, you know, you could just have three or four panels of some character talking or thinking to herself, with nobody else in sight. Your call, cartoonists!

The saddest thing about this Herb and Jamaal is that, since Mrs. Herb here (I forget her name … Peaches?) spends half the comic mentally rehashing what her husband said, the comic could just as easily been written with the miserly Herb speaking for himself. And maybe Mrs. Slim (I forget her name too … Jim?) is showing some sort of meta-awareness of her soliloquy by reminding us that we’re never really alone, what with the omnipresent LORD always listening in on our conversations. As for Doris the Parakeet … well, I’ve always found it to be a good policy to say as little about Doris the Parakeet as possible.

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Herb and Jamaal, 9/29/05

There are so many things wrong with today’s Herb and Jamaal, but let’s start with the quotation marks around “date.” I’m a big fan of inappropriate quotation marks. They can be found in many venues, from crudely hand-written store signs (“We are looking for ‘friendly’ people”) to the headlines in major newspapers (“Tom DeLay says he’s ‘innocent'”).

Still, I suppose “date” is a fairly appropriate use of inappropriate quotation marks here, seeing as Jamaal’s “dates” differ from actual dates in almost every important respect. I was never exactly a big Casanova back in my single days, and I’m also terrifically cheap, but I’m reasonably sure that the following train of thought would never have rumbled through my head: “Sure, I don’t get to see my date in person, or hear what she sounds like, or have any opportunity for a long-term relationship or even an amorous encounter, and I won’t get to leave the house or see a movie or have a nice meal, and there’s a small but nontrivial possibility that my ‘date’ is actually an undercover FBI agent looking for pedophiles, but it’s all worth it because I won’t have to spring for dinner!” You really dodged a bullet there, Jamaal.

As a bonus feature, why not try Herb and Jamaal Mad Libs?

“I love to ‘[verb]’ online. I get to [verb] dozens of women and [verb] them with [adjective] [noun] for hours … without [negative consequence]!”