Blondie, 3/11/13
Easiest way to distract Dagwood from all the terrible news you’re about to give him about his financial condition: Metaphors! Lots of colorful, confusing metaphors!
Herb and Jamaal, 3/11/13
Ha ha, it’s funny because Jamaal used to have sex with lots of different women, but now he has trouble pooping.
Hi and Lois, 3/11/13
I’m pretty sure this is the first time we’ve ever seen Chip’s eyes? They’re terrifying.
Dick Tracy, 2/22/13
Long-time readers will remember when Dick Tracy was a staple of these pages, back before a new team, narrative coherence, and really sumptuous art (go back and look at that first panel again; I’ll wait) put an end to that. So it’s nice of them to toss in an grisly death now and again, just for us old-timers. Thanks, guys — BEROWH!
Judge Parker, 2/22/13
Ha ha, so L’il Judge Randy’s going to tell his fiancée — a well-equipped professional assassin with a hair-trigger temper and history of gun violence returning from covert wet work in some Middle East hot spot — that their honeymoon will trap them on a boat with Mom ‘n’ Pop, the very people she planned to escape by eloping, swearing him to secrecy. Sam’s concerns are misplaced — L’il Judge won’t live to see cocktail hour, let alone Mexico. Work it like a claw, and call him mincemeat.
Mother Goose and Grimm, 2/22/13
The Scarlet Letter meets Welcome to the Monkey House. Those townsfolk will be mighty surprised when Reverend Dimmesdale shows up with a scarlet “D-” on his chest — the mercy grade Hester gave him so he wouldn’t try to retake the course.
Edge City, 2/22/13
Obsessive neurotic Abby Ardin finally found a personal trainer well-suited to her capabilities and goals, and promptly stopped exercising. Husband Len sizes up the situation perceptively, but both irony and correction are lost on Abby.
| P.S. | This woman is a therapist. |
| P.P.S. | Yes, I am going to start every single Edge City post with “Obsessive neurotic Abby Ardin ….” I just have to, for some reason. |
Hi and Lois, 2/22/13
Lois, check out the the Cubs memorabilia and the Dylan, Who, and Led Zeppelin posters: this guy is your Dad.
Just a reminder – no Comments of the Week on my watch. Look for them when Josh gets back Sunday or, you know, whenever.
— Uncle Lumpy
Hi and Lois, 2/11/13
You might think Hi and Lois’s art is simplistic, but it can really convey a lot of emotional depth. For instance, panel two shows just what a crushing psychic burden it is for Hi to even consider caring about other people’s family relationships or personal lives. And panel three shows Lois’s numb horror at the emotional desert her husband seems happy to live in.
Apartment 3-G, 2/11/13
“It’s me, Claire! Don’t sugarcoat it. You know I’ve been waiting for years for Margo to finally die and set me free of her tyranny! Is she conscious? Can I finally tell her what I really think about her without fear of retribution?”
Pluggers, 2/11/13
When pluggers duct-tape cardboard sheets over all the windows, they say it’s so the gummint mind-control rays can’t get in, but really they’re just sick of seeing how filthy their house is.