That’s right, Mary, let the rage and hate flow through you. But wait until he’s actually standing in front of you to unleash that left hook.
Archie, 8/9/06
I have to admit that this is a pretty stunning layout — I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen a comic strip divided up like this before. I don’t know how it would look shrunk down to the size necessary to cram it into a newspaper comics section, but it looks good here. It’s a particularly good fit for the broad vista in the top panel. Too bad it’s all in the service of such a joke so spectacularly lame that I think it’s the product of a joke-generating computer — and not a good one, either. Some of Betty’s butt might have helped.
See, right-wing naysayers: the debate over same-sex marriage has actually strengthened traditional marriage … or at least has provided fodder for “traditional” (i.e., boring, not-funny, 1950s-sitcom-style) jokes about marriage. This one in isn’t as horrifying the Beetle Bailey a few years ago when Mrs. Halftrack announced that she was in favor of same-sex marriage and the General, leering, told her that he was in favor of some-sex marriage. Note to the Walker-Browne axis: we don’t really want to hear your opinions on current politics, and we definitely don’t want to know about your characters’ sex lives.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/29/06
The Closeted Doctor Wacky Blackmail Adventure continues unabated. For those of you not following along at home, I forgot to point out in my last update on this strip that “Troy Gainer”‘s real name has been revealed to be the only slightly less porn-star-ish “Adam Long.” Today, we learn that, despite his earlier reluctance to get involved in this situation, Rex has some pretty clear and specific ideas on the best locations for doing a prisoner/ransom money exchange.
Mary Worth, 7/29/06
And by “compassion,” Mary of course means “pity.”
And by “rose,” Aldo of course means “dead object of my stalking affections.”
I think if Samuel Beckett were to write a comic about the meaningless empty void at the heart of a lonely, embittered old woman, it would look something like this. He’d leave out the reaction shot in the third panel, though; Momma’s depressing hobbies speak for themselves.
Dennis the Menace, 6/13/06
While appreciate the fact that Dennis is annoying Mr. Wilson with some 50 Cent or Korn or whatever the hell it is kids listen to today to annoy old people, and the fact that Joey is continuing to wear that incomprehensible pink belly shirt, I have to say that after some exhaustive research I’ve come to the conclusion that this panel contains no jokes of any kind. Ignoring for the moment the fact that nobody actually calls it “kids’ music”, the sentence is set up so that it seems like “drives grownups crazy” is supposed to be some play on words, despite the fact that it so clearly is not. Instead, Dennis is just saying “We like music that they don’t!” Mr. Wilson should punch him.
Mary Worth, 6/13/06
“I have to hand it to you Kelly! Living with a knife-wielding stab-frenzied maniac like me! I know it isn’t easy!”
Seriously, I hate to call for a savage knife attack, but it’s the only thing that would liven this up. She’s got one too — maybe they can manage to kill each other off, Hamlet-style.
Hi and Lois, 6/13/06
Note to Hi and Lois: if you draw your punchline and then have to have a character explain it, it’s probably time for a rethink.
In Finger Quotin’ Margo news, it looks like even Hollywood superstars are trying to get in on the action. Check out the video below; around the thirty second mark, you’ll see Britney Spears perpetrate the most misguided finger quotes in the history of television journalism.
(This is the first time I’ve tried to put one of these YouTube thingies on my site, so let me know if it causes something to go horribly wrong.)
