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Six Chix, 11/18/23

One of my all-time favorite activities is to bring a book to a restaurant I really like and enjoy a meal by myself. There’s something about the combination of feeling peacefully alone but also in public with others that’s really great. And, much as I treasure holiday meals with my family, there are some years where the stress of travel makes me dreamily imagine a more solitary Thanksgiving. Which is all to say that I hold no ill will against this woman and totally endorse her holiday plans. But ma’am, you have to admit that your behavior is somewhat out of the ordinary! I don’t think telling the restaurant staff that you’re bringing home leftovers in a doggie bag — for your cat! [record scratch] — is going to faze them at all or make them think less of you. Just lean into it!

Shoe, 11/18/23

Nice try, Shoe. You think I’m going to be so hung up on how nonsensical this punchline is that I’m going to be deterred from my mission of making sure everyone remembers that the Shoe characters are birds, and one of the most important things about birds is that they don’t have lips? Well I won’t be deterred, you hear me? I’m mad about it! So’s Roz! Look how mad she is! As well she should be!

Hi and Lois, 11/18/23

November 1: “Ha ha, my Uncle Beetle is in the Army with a whole bunch of crazy characters!”

November 18: “My poor Uncle Beetle is in the Army and subject to constant physical abuse from his superior officers. Sorry to be such a downer, but it’s so disturbing to me that it’s all I can think about.”

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Hi and Lois, 11/15/23

The sun won’t blast off its outer layers, forming a planetary nebula and leaving only a tiny white dwarf behind, for another seven to eight billion years or so, and while that is the unfathomably distant future, it’s not strictly speaking correct to say that Trixie’s best friend will last “forever.” Still, Sunbeam will be around for a lot longer than Suzy here, who even in a best-case scenario will be dead by sometime in the 2110s.

Marvin, 11/15/23

If you had told me in the abstract that Marvin wanted to branch out beyond “Ha ha, Marvin has shat himself and is proud of it” jokes, I would obviously endorse it. But please, do not waste your time and mine with marital misanthropy jokes that are two orders of magnitude too unfunny to make it in The Lockhorns! Better poop than this!

The Phantom, 11/15/23

Yes, The Phantom is still somehow doing the “Death of the Phantom” arc, and no, I’m still not going to catch you up on the details. But I do need to point out that this strip, which has never been shy about tastefully implied nudity, has just discovered the funniest ever use of a word balloon.

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Pluggers and Hi and Lois, 11/11/23

Happy Veterans Day, everyone! Do you think the United States is on the verge an apocalyptic war for national survival that will require us to call old men back into military service in a last-ditch and almost certainly doomed effort to fight back the overwhelming force of the enemy? Probably not, right? But still, it’s fun to keep those guys on their toes by hinting that it might be necessary in syndicated newspaper comics, their favorite form of media.

Gil Thorp, 11/11/23

Speaking of grizzled war vets, Gil Thorp apparently fought in the U.S. Army Air Force against the Luftwaffe during World War II, which means that he’s some sort of ageless immortal, which in turn has a lot of implications for any number of Gil Thorp plots. Like his slo-mo ongoing divorce, for instance: sure, it’s painful, but it’s something he has to go through every few decades, before his current wife starts to notice that he looks exactly like he did the day they got married.

Blondie, 11/11/23

Dagwood’s rich parents made sure he never got drafted into World War I or any of the wars that followed it, so no, Blondie will not be acknowledging Veterans Day, thank you very much. Anyway, a big problem with this strip is that the joke is supposed to be that Dagwood is hearing people use “beef” metaphorically and it makes him hungry for an all-beef hamburger patty, but then one of the speakers on TV is named “Mr. Burgomaster,” which kind of implies he’s already watching some kind of burger-themed entertainment, which muddles things, I think. Another problem with it is that it disrespects the troops.