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Archive: Hi and Lois

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Honestly it looks like Hagar’s two-thirds to three-quarters right, like all the way up to the armpits right

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Gil Thorp, 7/17/18

So it’s mid-July, and Gil Thorp’s “spring” plot is still happening, but at least it seems to be getting to a semi-satisfying climax, which is this: Barry’s mom is sorry she didn’t intervene over the years, but now that her drunk husband is in jail, it’s safe for her to tell her son that, yup, he’s an asshole. Where she really breaks new ground in the world of Gil Thorp is by asserting that becoming an asshole just to get better at high school baseball isn’t actually cool or good. The whole thing is coming off as kind of an intervention with Barry, and I appreciate the tack Ace Reporter Dafne is taking. Barry, so many preppy jocks become intellectual stoner guys in college! High school libertarians are suddenly freshman-year socialists! Why, less than a month ago, Dafne herself was white! All you have to do is not act like every single interaction with another person is a contest for dominance that you’re on the verge of losing and have to pull out all the stops to win! We believe in you! You can do this!

Hagar the Horrible, 7/17/18

An underrated and extremely unsettling running gag in Hagar the Horrible is “Lucky Eddie’s life partner is a mermaid, whose daughter he sold to a zoo.” Anyway, since Hagar and Helga have actually double-dated with Eddie and his fish-woman paramour, I’m not sure why he’s pretending to be ignorant here. C’mon, Hagar, this is a post-The Shape Of Water world here, fishfucking is totally OK now!

Hi and Lois, 7/17/18

Usually it’s Thirsty’s yard that’s depicted as being littered with trash, as one of this strip’s understated class/classiness markers, so I guess you can understand why the visibly rumpled drunkard feels the need to get a little dig in about the Flagstons’ slovenliness. Still, since Hi is Thirsty’s best and, as near as we can tell, only friend, it does seem like an ill-advised move.

Marvin, 7/17/18

FINALLY, MARVIN WILL FACE PROSECUTION FOR HIS MANY CRIMES

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Mondays are all about ME

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Marvin, 6/25/18

Like most world famous comics bloggers, I usually turn to the virtual funny pages every morning, scan the strips, and think to myself, “Is this one about me?” I mean, sometimes it’s obvious, but other times it’s a little unclear, like today! Because, on the one hand, sure, I’m on the record as hating on Marvin constantly, without even a tiny leavening modicum or grudging respect, and I’m one of the last bloggers alive, since everyone else quit years ago and moved on to [checks notes] creating content for “Instagram stories” or whatever. But on the other, the Marvin creative team may not be that current with developments in online publishing (the tell is the use of the clunky phrase “blog writer”) and it is long-established strip canon that Bitsy is a blogger (sorry, “blog writer”), so maybe I’m not personally being insulted. It’s also long-established strip canon that Marvin and Bitsy hate each other! Just like every character hates ever other character. It’s really just mutual loathing all the way down! It’s funny how we don’t talk about that so much, which I guess is because all the shitting is even worse.

Mary Worth, 6/25/18

Ha ha, Tommy’s in love after one date, everyone! This is definitely an emotionally healthy development that isn’t related to his addictive personality, at all. I’m pretty proud of him for lulling his mom into a sense of complacency by starting slow but then gradually ramping up over the course of the sentence so that everything seems really chill and relaxed about this falling in love thing. Surely he wanted to blurt it out immediately, and was going cross-eyed at the effort of holding it in.

Spider-Man, 6/25/18

Ahh, Dr. Christine Palmer, the [Googles because it’s being boldface-yelled at us like we’re supposed to recognize it] beloved Marvel character who is Doctor Strange’s colleague and occasional girlfriend, and who is played in the movies by [squints at the marvel cinematic universe dot wikia dot com article and then at panel two here] … Rachel McAdams? That seems … not right.

Hi and Lois, 6/25/18

Ha ha, it’s funny because the twins don’t want to go to summer camp but Lois doesn’t want them around so they’re going to summer camp, and the twins know that’s why they’re going to summer camp, and they resent it! That’s … literally the joke of this strip, I think?

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Thursday quickies

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Crock, 6/21/18

[extremely hack ’90s standup comedian voice] Hey, you guys, uh, you heard about this “Google”? They got all these crazy names for things on the Internet. [adjusts tie] It’s wild, man, it’s wild. Hey, what if there was some old wise man in a cave and it turned out he was just surfing the web using “Google”? [pats forehead with handkerchief] That’d be pretty crazy, huh?

Gasoline Alley, 6/21/18

Well, we’ve moved on from Slim’s erotic concussion and have started a new Gasoline Alley plot, about a centenarian with paranoid delusions about the personal care industry, and I’m not gonna lie: I am hooked.

Family Circus, 6/21/18

Look at those eyes! Look at that spittle! Listen to the unhinged ravings! Billy is in the middle of a full-on cookie mania, and it’s difficult to watch.

Hi and Lois, 6/21/18

WHEN YOU’VE COMMITTED A SIN SO GREAT THAT EVEN THE SUN ABANDONS YOU