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Pluggers, 2/19/13

Flea track and field.

Better Half, 2/19/13

Hey, Stanley — send that app on over to the folks at 9 Chickweed Lane, wouldya? Save ’em some typing.

9 Chickweed Lane, 2/19/13

Thanks, Stan. I’m sure they appreciate it — just look at those big smiles!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/19/13

Oh, poo. Looks like Our Honey isn’t challenging any normative gender constructs after all; she’s once, twice, three times a — well, I guess lady isn’t quite right either. Anyway, she made quite an impression on Rex there: look at him covering the smoking socket of the eye that was exposed to her naked ladyparts, or maybe he’s trying to pluck it out per Matthew 18:9? Either way, if that image could be pasted over the first panel of every comic ever, this blog wouldn’t need to do much else:

Funky Winkerbean, Mary Worth, Judge Parker, Crankshaft, 2/19/13 (panels, modified)

UPDATE — Hey, check out Faithful Reader Druj Nasu’s Automatic Rexifier, which Rexifies many, many more strips, and Faithful Reader Nehemiah Scudder’s Rex Agony Blank, which lets you play along at home. Thank you, Faithful Readers!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Mary Worth, 1/27/13

A comment of the week from December demanded it, and so it has been done: today’s Mary Worth has provided a genuine cake-decorating-training montage. Feel free to play the theme from Rocky in your head while reading it, or, if you’re feeling saucy and/or 90s nostalgic, Smash Mouth’s “All Star.” Personally, I’m more interested in John’s relaxed, cheerful facial expression as he declares that this is a victory or death situation, and that the Santa Royale Civic Center will either echo with his bellows of triumph or be splattered by an awful melange of batter and blood.

Archie, 1/27/13

“Why do I get the feeling that Riverdale High isn’t going to qualify for Race to the Top funding for innovation in education any time soon? Maybe it’s because our ‘homework’ consists of simple questions on disparate subjects, the answers to which require no critical thinking skills and could easily be looked up on the Internet.”

Panel from Judge Parker, 1/27/13

“And he’s dying!” “Too bad!” Really wish this strip had featured Sam staring bemusedly at a six-figure check because then I could just quit reading Judge Parker and look at this panel every day forever.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 1/27/13

Haha, yes, the salinity of the Dead Sea, but also COUNT WEIRDLY’S FACE EMERGING FROM A HATCH THAT OPENS IN THE VERY FABRIC OF THE UNIVERSE.

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Heathcliff, 1/26/13

Heathcliff has so alienated everybody with his rude behavior that his only friends are his own parasites.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/26/13

These squirrels are more industrious and forward-thinking than literally any human in Hootin’ Holler.

Judge Parker, 1/26/13

You cannot deny that any drama that includes the dialogue “They sent an e-mail and a confirmation express letter!” is an unstoppable thrill ride.

Shoe, 1/26/13

Haha, it’s funny because of anuses!