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Gasoline Alley, 3/25/23

Not that there’s much by way of competition, but Ida Knoe, the evil talking doll who can travel through time, is now officially my favorite character in the century-long history of Gasoline Alley. Today’s strip, in which she taunts these children into dangerous meddling in the timestream, really seals the deal. “What’s a matter, are you guys babies? Are you worried that you’re accidentally going to make Hitler president or make your parents mad? Don’t be chicken!”

Judge Parker, 3/25/23

Meanwhile, back in NYC, Sophie and Reena are getting into the latest big city fad, which is ordering pizza with nothing on it. No cheese, no sauce, no nothing, just a flat triangle of baked dough. “These kids today, they’re … they’re pure nihilists,” said the Village Voice’s food critic, sweating openly. “They don’t believe in anything anymore.”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/25/23

Look, you might make fun of the inhabitants in Hootin’ Holler as “financially illiterate bumpkins,” but Snuffy just invented a new kind of lottery-based financial derivative, so maybe you need to start giving them some credit.

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Crock, 3/16/23

A fun fact is that this is literally how World War I started — or, I guess, is literally why World War I couldn’t be stopped after it started even though everyone kind of knew it was a bad idea.

Gasoline Alley, 3/16/23

Ha ha, Ida Noe, the creepy talking doll, seems to know a thing or two about shaking a dead person’s hand! You can cover her mouth all you want, but ultimately you cannot stop her.

Judge Parker, 3/16/23

RANDY PARKER! He’s tanned, rested, and ready for this assignment. Like, really tanned. Leathery. He spent the entire period when he was off the bench in a high-powered tanning booth. Why did he do this to himself. Is he even human anymore, under all that tan???

Pluggers, 3/16/23

Ha ha, were you planning on spending the rest of your day not thinking about your tongue and how old it is? Well, too bad! And here you thought the only body horror Pluggers delivered was its parade of freakish man-animal hybrids.

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Hi and Lois, 3/2/23

I don’t know, man, I don’t think anyone elaborately folds up a handkerchief into a pocket square, its daring bright red color chosen specifically to match their tie and the buttons on their suit jacket, because they mostly plan to blow their nose into it. It’s OK to admit that you want to feel snazzy once in a while at your office job, Hi! You look good and your kids should admit it!

Rex Morgan M.D., 3/2/23

Oh, are you tired of all the gross romance stuff in the current plot where Truck woos a diner owner? Well, good news: the strip’s other diner owner just walked into the diner, and hopefully we’re going to get some diner shop talk. What’s the best chicken friend steak recipe? What do people typically pay a line cook around here? You got a good menu laminator guy? Boy, I’m getting excited already!

Judge Parker, 3/2/23

Just to be absolutely clear: Judge Parker is not a strip where you see anything interesting happen. Judge Parker is a strip where you don’t see the interesting things happen, but you do see people emotionally processing those things, very loudly, forever.