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Curtis, 5/5/06

Though Curtis-bashing is often the order of the day around here, I’ve come to have admiration for the strip’s art, which is generally funnier than the ostensible humor content. It’s busy and kind of old school and I like it. Today my heart was won over by Gunther’s niece Rose Petal (oddly referred to as “Niece Rose Petal”, though at least not as “Niece ‘Rose Petal'”) who appears to be Gunther in drag. And not very convincing drag. The weird boobs, the impossible butt, the buck teeth — good times, good times.

Meanwhile, in Judge Parker, somebody’s a little concerned about Sophie the homework outsourcer:

We now know that Sam and Abbey’s palatial estate is in Florida … because that’s clearly none other than erstwhile Sunshine State election honcho, current Congressperson, and future failed Senate candidate Katherine Harris!

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Sally Forth, 5/4/06

Tune in for future installments of Sally Forth’s alcohol-fueled blackouts and ancillary hilarity:

• “Gee, Sal, you say the car had four tires when you came home from work?”
• “All I know is that Ralph says you were the most giving and nurturing lover he’s ever had.”
• “Mom, Faye says she won’t come over for dinner again until you get rid of that gun.”
• “So you say you remember punching the other softball coach in the face, but you don’t remember kicking him in the gut after he went down?”
• “All I know is that Alice says you were the most giving and nurturing lover she’s ever had.”

Judge Parker, 5/4/06

I’m not familiar enough with the rich Judge Parker backstory to know whether Abbey was born to fabulous wealth or if she came by it by marrying (or just shacking up with? I can’t keep it straight) Sam Driver, but she clearly has a lot to learn when it comes to ordering her henchpersons about. She’s got the part where you make them dress up in ludicrous uniforms right, but she doesn’t really know how to talk to them:

• Incorrect way to respond to relayed information from an underling: Allowing to them learn unnecessary details by engaging them in a rousing game of Exposition.
• Correct way to respond to relayed information from an underling: “Did I give you permission to make eye contact with me? Return to your duties at once, Unit 39-D!”

They’ll Do It Every Time, 5/4/06

This panel ignores the tremendous pressure anyone named “Neato” is under to be tidy. As if four grueling years of male nursing school weren’t enough!

B.C., 5/4/06

OK, but see, this is just totally insane.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/26-7/06

Well, no wonder she’s sick all the time, with these quacks for parents. I guess they’re trying to conclusively settle the “feed a cold and starve a fever, or vice-versa?” argument. Maybe they can convince Dr. Troy to open an all-dessert-based clinic, with Lou from Mary Worth as a silent partner.

Abbey, as always the smartest one in the room, looks like she’s unconvinced about the effectiveness of this protocol. She also looks to me disturbingly like a whacked-out Axl Rose (like there’s any other kind). But then, in panel two in Wednesday’s strip, Sarah looks a lot like Angela Lansbury, so I may be seeing things.

Beetle Bailey, 4/27/06

That’s funny, I think my initial response to “Beetle didn’t open his chute” would have been “If he isn’t careful, he’ll plummet to a terrifying, painful death.” Guess that’s why I’m not in the army!

Apartment 3-G, 4/27/06

“Yeah, your art, your passion, your life’s work … snoresville! It’s good thing you’re so dull yourself, so you don’t notice. I’m going to go do something more interesting now, like listen to myself talk. Ta!”

Judge Parker, 4/27/06

Oh, yuck. Is that what they’re calling it these days? I hope for his clients’ sake that he isn’t treating this time as billable hours.