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Hey, it’s Fashion Week on the funny page, and here come the Judge!

Judge Parker, 6/26/2008

Well! Since he returned last week from his mysterious eighteen-month retreat, the fashion world has waited breathlessly for their first peek under the robe of our own Judge Alan Parker. Speculation has been nonstop, and wild! What will we find under that robe he wears night and day? His pyjamas? Nothing at all? Mrs. Parker? Now the mystery is revealed, and . . . well, he can close the robe back up. Really, Judge. Go right ahead.

Judge Parker, 8/7/2007

Of course, Judge Parker holds court for more than just the latest styles: look to the House of Parker for tips on fabric care, too! Like this one: to achieve her casual “off the rack” look, wine-country fashionista Trudi lightly steams her ribbed tops over the grillwork of a 1955 Buick Roadmaster!

Mary Worth, 6/26/2008

And would any Fashion Week be complete without an appearance by our First Lady of Fashion, Mary Worth? Here, Mary appears in a simple but elegant romper, set off by her ever-present pearl choker. Mary’s appearance this year is marred by controversy over rumors she’s invited a new partner into her circle, displacing her partner of many years, Dr. Jefferson Cory.

Mary Worth, 7/4/2006

Not long ago, Cory occupied a prominent place in Mary’s circle — but tonight there’s a table for one at the Bum Boat with his name on it!

Luann, 6/26/2008

Finally, let’s look in on fashion’s own Odd Couple. Just minutes after his close escape, TJ is back in his cool, casual, classic look — and back to looking out for number 1! And while Brad’s ensemble may say “World War I Doughboy” on the outside, he’s showing the world he’s Pillsbury Doughboy on the inside!

Hey, what are your comic fashion picks and pans?

— Uncle Lumpy

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Dramatic reversals in the Wednesday serials — let’s dive right in!

Spider-Man, 6/25/2008

Oh, snap! Peter can’t stop the Vulture or even get pictures of anybody but himself. Jonah exploits his failure to buy the photos for a pittance, then spins the story so Spidey has to go back at the Vulture, sick or not. Let’s officially retitle this strip Jonah and be done with it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/25/2008

And in an instant, Rex’s life is changed forever. Effortlessly, doughy Tom Arnold lookalike Max Mallory pierces his tissue of lies and threatens his cover, shield, and only source of strength. The roses in panel two tell us — and Rex — that Max now owns him no less completely than Mary owns Jeff. MRSA can sleep safe tonight.

Mary Worth, 6/25/2008

Today: Mary’s thought-bubbles beat down Jeff’s phone messages. Next: Mary’s emails beat down Jeff’s semaphore signals. Really, this strip could get along perfectly well without people. At least these people.

Apartment 3-G, 6/25/2008

Margo struggles with the whole “Tommie getting more than me” concept. There, there, dear — we’ve all been down that road.

Luann, 6/25/2008

Dear Mom:

Thank you for raising me. I am all grown up now. And a fireman! See my axe? Now shut the fuck up!

Love,

your Bradley

— Uncle Lumpy

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New directions for old favorites, just in time for the weekend!

Apartment 3-G, 6/20/2008

Hey, Tommie’s back! And it’s clear Gary’s ardor hasn’t cooled — soon, he’ll whisper that if the hospital doesn’t upgrade the intrusion detection software on the Pharmacy network leg to current specs — and fast — there’s no way they’ll demonstrate HIPAA compliance before the first-round JCAHO review. Tommie will just lower her eyes and coo that the time may have come to negotiate with an outside service provider for penetration-testing services.

Then comes the howling.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/20/2008

Hey, Les is on the fast track: just learned where the glassware goes, now he’s running the Manhattan operation. At least he knows the neighborhood — last visit, he spread his wife’s ashes in Central Park, got mugged, and squandered his precious honeymoon memento calling Funky to come bail him out. Now he — and we! — can relive the magic.

Back home, Summer will spend her copious lesiure time ginning up fresh tragedy, as required by her genetic inheritance, her contract, and the strip’s mission statement. Her Dad, of all people, should know there are no “comfort zones” in Funky Winkerbean.

Luann, 6/20/2008

Hey! Brad’s on the job! He’s gonna rescue TJ! Five days ’til The Kiss!

— Uncle Lumpy!