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Mark Trail, 9/10/15

Let’s all take a minute to appreciate what a thoughtful nature journalist Mark Trail is. Sure, that box of glowing rods marked by a giant radiation symbol is probably full of radioactive material, but wouldn’t it be embarrassing if a team from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission came out and found a bunch of gag novelty items or something like that? I think once Mark does eventually call them in, and they hear that he dicked around for a few days waiting for special dive suits to be shipped to him and then went poking around himself without any training on how to handle radioactive material, they’ll be glad he didn’t waste their time!

Blondie, 9/10/15

About a year ago I tore into Blondie for obviously having no idea what Twitter was or how it worked, so I now I have to recognize progress: as of September of 2015, Blondie knows exactly what Twitter is and how it works. Be sure to follow me on Twitter and watch how my tweeting rate increases rapidly as my workload and deadlines mount!

Dennis the Menace, 9/10/15

The only employer you ever hear Mr. Wilson talking about is the U.S. Postal Service. So, one job for his whole life, union representation, and a pension on retirement? Story checks out.

Momma, 9/10/15

“Phew! She can’t taste the slow-acting poison after all! The nice man I ordered it from over the Internet was telling the truth!”

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Mark Trail, 9/1/15

I see Lesley is still irritated enough with Mark to play games, shipping the equipment they need but making them solve her elaborate puzzle to figure out where it’s going. Fortunately Ken’s local smarts will crack her code! Fortunately also Ken’s already festooned his car with skulls, preparing for the Mad Max-style post-nuclear apocalypse that this lost radioactive material presumably presages.

Apartment 3-G, 9/1/15

It’s sad how difficult it is to tell in the current dreamscape atmosphere of Apartment 3-G whether Margo is meant to be dissociated and confused or the strip itself is dissociative and confusing, but it’s clear that our gal Magee is in trouble. “I don’t have time to play crazy with you” is an extremely sick burn, and normally she’d be returning it in kind instead of begging for companionship.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/1/15

Ha ha, yes, this all seems like an extremely up-and-up series of actions that probably doesn’t constitute corporate malfeasance, at all!

Mary Worth, 9/1/15

“Wait, I’m not going to be married to an English professor anymore! I don’t have to worry about any of this ‘how many words are in a word’ crap! I’m free! I’m free!”

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Mark Trail, 8/28/15

Oh my God, what did Mark to do this mysterious professor’s car that has her all icy towards him? Did he blow it up? Did he refuse to call it Dirty? Did he use it to store a bunch of nasty lesion-covered dead sharks? Did he punch it? Probably he punched it, right?

Blondie, 8/28/15

I eat a lot of gross, crappy science-chemical food-style products, but even I’m put off by the thought of a snack that would be shelf-stable enough to sit in a vending machine for who knows how long but could still be described as “gooey.” Dagwood’s eating issues are many and fascinating, is what I’m trying to say.

Marvin, 8/28/15

A Marvin strip that ostensibly isn’t about pooping, but where the title character uses the phrases “a full load” and “dumps his cargo,” then looks at his father’s open mouth, then stares at the reader with an awful, knowing smile? I can only interpret this as an open declaration of war against me and my truth-telling.