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Mark Trail, 9/2/10

You know, I was about to make fun of the idea that a caged hunt of semi-tame exotic animals could be this hideous, unpleasant man’s ticket to the governorship, but then I reflected on the mysterious ways in which the government works in the Mark Trail universe. This, after all, is a world where land use disputes and criminal investigations are handled at the same meeting of some ill-defined board, and where zoning hearings take place in dramatic trial form. So why shouldn’t the state’s chief executive be chosen in the context of shooting penned-in beasts? It makes as much sense as anything else. So you can just forget this fancy “voting” talk, Mrs. Evil Politician, because the only votes that count are the ones cast by the severed heads of majestic wildlife.

Gil Thorp, 9/2/10

I admitted on Twitter the other day that I actually enjoy seeing beloved former Gil Thorp characters pop up from year to year in this strip. This year’s returnee is Jamarr Gaddis, aka “the Ghost,” the team’s talented but self-aggrandizing egotist. I vaguely recall being amused by Jamarr’s cheerful self-promotion, so it will be good to have him back; today’s action implies that we’re going to learn about his inner struggles, or at least see how he reacts when people mock him for having a cold. Seriously, why does everyone find the fact that he’s sick so damn hilarious and/or enraging? Check out Coach Beardo in the first panel — he’s a third-in-command high school sports coach, so he’s got a lot of nerve acting so superior just because some poor kid decided to stay home with a fever instead of coming to practice and giving 110 percent right up to the point where he drops dead from exhaustion.

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Mark Trail, 8/28/10

Oh, he’s going into politics! That explains the giant fence. He’s not building some kind of private hunting preserve; he’s planning on running for office on the always popular “let’s round them up and put them into concentration camps” platform. The fence is his tribute to America’s can-do spirit. We don’t need wasteful government agencies like FEMA to build our internment compounds for us! Private enterprise can do it more efficiently! Look, I’ve already managed to imprison my wife and ugly little stepdaughter, and some dumb baby deer they adopted!

Note where Cherry picked up this juicy bit of gossip: at the hair salon. Remember when Cherry went to get her hair done, four months ago? You probably thought Jack Elrod had forgotten all about this, but Jack Elrod never forgets. Obviously the whole point of Cherry going to the salon in the first place was for her to pick up this plotline-advancing tidbit. The point certainly wasn’t for her to have anything done to her hair, because it looks exactly the same as ever.

Dick Tracy, 8/28/10

“Detective Tracy” and “Miss Sue Doko” are in extra large font here, and while it’s almost certainly just because otherwise the words wouldn’t take up enough of the word balloon, I’d like to think they’re both saying things really loudly and sarcastically, like Steve Martin saying “Well excuuuuuse me,” mostly because neither of two can believe how stupid the other’s name is.

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Pluggers, 8/24/10

Well, here’s a sentence that I never, ever thought I’d have reason to type: I learned some interesting stuff from Pluggers today! A “clip joint” apparently is a bar where patrons are lured in, sometimes by the promise of adult entertainment, sometimes by pretty ladies asking passersby to come party with them; generally speaking the ladies have a drink or two with the poor mark and then slip out, at which point the victim discovers that the drinks were hundreds of dollars apiece (should have asked before ordering, bud) and there are some large, burly men there to make sure that he pays. This scam is or was popular in the mostly plugger-free locales of London and New York. This delightful factoid about the world’s seedy underground has really made my day, so, thanks, Pluggers! I guess pluggers don’t get hustled into these establishments because it’s pretty obvious that they don’t have any money to steal.

Mark Trail, 8/24/10

Longtime Mark Trail readers know in their bones that something is off about Stepfather here, so the fact that he’s so blithe about letting his wife’s little girl keep a tick-ridden wild animal as a pet sets off warning signals that some deeper horror is in the offing. “Why are you here, Trail… is it about my fence? Are you worried that I’m building a giant hunting enclosure, and that I’m going to have some of my rich buddies come and shoot little Lucky here and leave him to bleed to death, right in front of this adorable little girl? Is that what this is about? Because I can’t confirm or deny that at this time.”

Family Circus, 8/24/10

Big Daddy Keane is allowing himself a little smile because he now has another solid vote in favor of Operation Sell Jeffy, Or, If There Aren’t Any Takers, Just Give Him Away. All he needs is one more vote for a majority — and really, it shouldn’t be too hard to trick PJ into waving his little arm in the air at the right moment.