Archive: Mark Trail

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Hey kids, it’s comics education time! You’ve probably seen me refer to “throwaway panels” when I tackle some of the Sunday strips, and it may be that you don’t know what this means! Essentially, most Sunday strips are shipped to newspapers with an extra row of panels at the top, which some (many, in these days of shrinking budgets) papers cut off so that they can fit more comics into a limited space; as a result, the strip as a whole must be able to stand without these panels. There are varying strategies for dealing with the narrative problem thus raised.

Panels from Dennis the Menace, 6/14/09

For instance, some strips use them to present little mini-episodes that stand somewhat apart from the main action. A good example is today’s Dennis the Menace, where we learn that Mr. Wilson would like nothing better than to spray his irritating neighbor with deadly poison.

Panels from Curtis, 6/14/09

Another is today’s Curtis, where we discover that Gunther is sweeping the floor to his barbershop! Ha ha! That Gunther! What won’t he do?

Mary Worth, 6/14/09

Sometimes the throwaway panels change the focus of the strip. For instance, without the top row of panels in today’s Mary Worth, we’d probably manage to ignore those pinkish briquettes that Mary and Toby are gobbling up by the fistful. But with those panels in place, we’re forced to confront the fact that they’re genuine Mary Worth-prepared “salmon squares,” and must kill a little bit of our souls trying to figure out what, exactly, a “salmon square” might be. Has Mary taken moist, delicious, tender salmon and mercilessly baked it until it’s a series of hard, crispy pucks that are easy to pick up without getting your hands oily, and that taste like ashes in your mouth? Is the salmon inside some kind of pink pastry shell, resulting in an awful salmon-flavored Pop-Tart? Was this so-called “new recipe” written on parchment in human blood in the bowels of hell by Satan himself? Probably!

Marvin, 6/14/09

Then there are throwaway panels that alter the entire thrust of the strip. For instance, without the top row of panels, this strip could be summarized as “babies love cookies, and grandmas love giving cookies to babies”; but with them, the message is more “babies and dogs are an awful lot alike.”

Mark Trail, 6/14/09

And sometimes the throaway panels can accommodate differing levels of ambient prudishness across various media markets. Would a drawing of a comely lass in a bikini result in angry letters from comics readers in your paper’s distribution area? Just remove the top row et voilà! You’ll still get a helpful text wall on avoiding rip currents, and a terrifying close up of our naive swimmer dying in terror. That seagull in the final panel doesn’t seem to be helping matters; in fact, I’m guessing that he will soon be dive-bombing our hapless swimmer, so that she’ll drown more quickly and fatten up the fishes that he’ll eat later. Nature is cruel!

Funky Winkerbean, 6/14/09

Unrelated to throwaway panels, but related to dying in terror: does this strip finally settle the “What happened to Wally” question? This being Funky Winkerbean, we should have guessed that he died, probably in terror.

I was going to make a crack about how Becky conveniently arranged the parade to conclude at the cemetery where Wally’s grave was, but in all likelihood in the world of Funky Winkerbean it’s impossible to plan a parade — indeed, it’s impossible to plan a trip of any significant distance — that doesn’t end up at a graveyard.

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Mark Trail, 6/12/09

Oh ho! It looks like this Mark Trail dialogue will be serving up some crackling dialogue and verbal jousting covering up underlying sexual tension, just like the best screwball comedies of the ’30s! If, once you’ve forced your way into the head office of a major corporation, there’s a better opening gambit than “I live on a wildlife preserve called Lost Forest!” then I don’t want to know about. And frankly I’d like to see virtually every insane, improperly emphasized sentence out of Mark’s mouth dismissed with a quick “Good for you.”

Gil Thorp, 6/12/09

Hey there Mr. Fancy Artist Man, it’s just Gil Thorp, and within Gil Thorp it’s just Shep Trumbo, so there’s no need to bust out the super-emphasized perspective as you have in panel one, mmmkay? What with the bobble lines around Shep’s head and his severe foreshortening, it looks like he’s going through some kind of mutant-growth spurt that will leave him twenty feet tall, a monstrously huge prankster jerk. The splayed fingers poking out of the left side of the panel look like a floppy mass of tentacles, adding to the freakishness. Meanwhile, panel two features more nostril than anyone wants out of this feature.

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Luann, 6/9/09

Say, did somebody mention “view[ing] Luann’s treatment of human sexuality with mingled fascination and horror”? Oh, yeah, I did! Well, today’s strip offers an insight into the origins of the squick that hangs over this feature like a squirm-inducing black cloud by proposing a typical fair as some sort of carny-staffed aphrodisiac. Let’s go over each item presented as potentially arousing in turn, shall we?

  • The smells: A heady melange of fryer grease, unwashed barnyard animal, sweaty humans, feces from said animals, and barf from said humans.
  • The food: Dripping in grease and inappropriately deep fried.
  • The rides: “Wait, has this thing been inspected by anybody? I don’t like that grinding noise it’s making, and I don’t think the door is shutting all the way … also, it’s hard to grip onto the handlebar, because somebody appears to have puked on it.”
  • The animals: Sheep, pigs, and cows, all trotted out of their barns so they can be inspected by those who plan to kill and butcher them!

In other words, the “whole hot, earthy, exciting atmosphere” is a tremendous boner-killer for any right-thinking person. I’m frankly amazed that the Tilt-a-Whirl upchuck incident didn’t just turn Mr. DeGroot on further.

Mark Trail, 6/9/09

There is absolutely no strip on the comics page today that can deliver the laughs like Mark Trail. I certainly hope that the Williams Chemical Company is an enormous publicly traded multinational corporation, and that Mark spends a baffling day being shuffled between the plant manager, the operations manager, the CEO, the COO, the chief environmental officer, the chief quality officer, the chairman of the board, and the heads of the major stockholder factions before becoming frustrated and just punching out postindustrial capitalism itself.

Apartment 3-G, 6/9/09

“Wait … Eric is such a nobody that this newscaster can’t even remember his name without reading it off a sheet of paper? GASP! I must break off the engagement at once!”

Family Circus, 6/9/09

Well, Jeffy, it looks like you’re going to have to take some of that stuff out of your suitcase before you leave! Don’t worry, I’m sure that the other children at the orphanage will be happy to share their toys and clothes with you!

Funky Winkerbean, 6/9/09

“HA HA HA HA HA! Get it! I took what you said, but then reversed it! HA HA HA HA HA! Hey, wait a minute, are your pants unbuttoned?”

Panel from Spider-Man, 6/9/09

Meanwhile, over in Spider-Man, Wolverine is posing for his yearbook photo.