Archive: Mark Trail

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Curtis, 2/27/08 and 3/5/08

What? He can’t take it off? No mystery there: just the sad, predictable end of another “magical Gunk” story arc. But what’s with Gunk’s eyes in panel four of today’s strip? They seem . . . oddly . . . normal. Is this the end of magical Gunk? It’s a mystery!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/5/08

OK, looking for moral coherence in Rex Morgan isn’t likely to pay off, but let’s give it a shot. Niki is apologizing: why? Alternatives are: a) he did something wrong, b) his efforts turned out badly, c) he wants to bond with Rex. Did he do something wrong? He rightly refused a thief’s offer of the bank’s money, but later took possession of some of it himself. Maybe a little bad — he intended to keep the bank’s money — but c’mon. And he nobly turned down a reward. OK, did his efforts turn out badly? Rex, not Niki, burned the damned money! Finally, why would Niki want to bond with this dangerous, sanctimonious idiot? It’s a mystery!

Mark Trail, 3/5/08

OK, giving English usage advice to Mark Trail is likely to fall on deaf fists, but the fact that Luke’s operation might save him for prison isn’t ironic — nobody, including the author, is saying one thing and meaning another. But what is it? Karma? Cosmic justice? It’s a mystery!

– Uncle Lumpy

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Lots of comings and goings in the continuity strips today!

For Better or For Worse, 3/3/08

Hey, it’s Warren, the dashing helicopter pilot! He says his head’s a mess, and he’s come to Liz for clarity. Which more or less proves his point.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/3/08

Big Rex and Little Niki, packin’ out: no fish, but no “disappointment”, either — except for poor Rex, who faces the grim prospect of sex with his wife.

Mark Trail, 3/3/08

Recaps all ’round in Mark Trail, and good news for Johnny Malotte: with Bull dead and Luke in jail, his camp empire will span the whole of Lost Forest. “Hey, Marie, now we can have those nine other kids we always dreamed about!”

Funky Winkerbean, 3/3/08

That’s it? Two weeks of the Pizza World interview just to establish that Funky’s a dick? I’d call it a waste, but squandering two weeks of Funky Winkerbean hardly qualifies. Cue Summer Moore’s championship season — too bad there wasn’t room in panel three for Bull to tell us more about what we read in panel two. C’mon Bull, focus: which of your Westview teams is going to that championship game?

Mary Worth, 3/3/08

Pool party! Pool party! Pool party! And there’s Wilbur, and Chinbeard, and Toeby — and, and Guy on the Stairs! Oh, it’s gonna be great this time, I just know it!

But what on earth are they feeding that leprechaun? And where’s Mary’s customary glass of human blood? Never mind for now — I’m sure all will be explained in the weeks and months ahead.

Pool party! Ahhhhhhh. . . .

– Uncle Lumpy

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Gil Thorp, 2/25/08

Every once in a while Gil Thorp is seized by some sort of conviction that it is read and beloved by teenagers across the land. The reality, of course, is that its audience surely consists mostly of ironic twenty- and thirtysomething hipsters, which is why new artist Frank Bolle’s decision to draw all the teenage characters as if they were in their twenties and thirties is actually quite clever. But anyway, sometimes the strip feels a need to churn out an afterschool special style Very Special Storyline to educate and enlighten its imaginary high school aged audience. Longtime readers of this blog no doubt remember homeless high school basketball star storyline from a couple of years ago; during the period in the late ’90s and early ’00s when the strip was written by Jerry Jenkins (yes, that Jerry Jenkins), there were also plots involving abortion and a Jewish football player who wouldn’t play on the Sabbath.

Anyway, for some time now the A-Train storyline has been transparently leading up to this shocking revelation: Andrew’s been raising his little siblings alone, for some reason! I’m really looking forward to finding out the why of this, and one can only hope it involves Andrew murdering his parents with an axe. Whatever it is, it still won’t explain why he’s a spit-curled horse-faced egomaniacal jerky jerk.

Herb and Jamaal, 2/25/08

Some might see this bizarre reference to “girly-girl troopers” as more typical Herb and Jamaal nonspecificity, but I believe that instead it’s an attempt to avoid angering the Girl Scouts with any implication that they might be drug dealers. Which, frankly, is a smart move. You do not want to piss off the Girl Scouts. You’re liable to wake up with a bunch of Tagalong crumbs in your bed and a blood-red fleur-de-lys spray-painted across the front of your house.

Mark Trail, 2/25/08

WHAMMO! Another fine fist o’ justice dished out by Mark Trail! And a particularly artful one too, I must say, with his jacket billowing out manfully behind him as beardo Brice goes down in defeat. I am curious, though, about just who these Mark-allies are circling the scene in their Pan Am Clipper flying boat. They’re clearly familiar with his knuckle sandwich work, as that’s how they’ve managed to identify him from their great height. Could it be that Andy and his hastily scrawled note has already managed to reach The Community, and this is the rescue squad? Since it’s been, what, about twenty minutes since Andy fled into the woods, one would have to question why Mark’s rescuers couldn’t have simply walked there.

Apartment 3-G, 2/25/08

Woo-hoo, Jones the Beatnik is back! Ever since his first appearance, Jones has been one of A3G’s greatest supporting characters, not least because his soul patch and super-groovy vest make it easy to distinguish him from other males in the strip. Plus his appearance always presages some kind of binge on Alan’s part — another reason to root for him.

Slylock Fox, 2/25/08

Good lord, it’s another representative of the sexy Cat clan! Although Keesha spells her last name with a “K” and is apparently on the side of good (or at least on the side of victim rather than perpetrator) so perhaps she’s trying to keep her distance from Cassandra and Carla. Also, I’m not sure exactly what kind of life form the “witness” is supposed to be, but he’s clearly evolved extra-long arms and index fingers for more effective snitching.

Marvin, 2/25/08

Five days after it began, the grim death march that is “Belly Laffs” continues. So far, every single one of these priceless gems of humor has boiled down to “You know you’re pregnant when you get fat.” I can’t believe I’m writing this, but: hey, Marvin, I’ve heard that pregnant women also get weird food cravings and have morning sickness and sometimes are constipated! Perhaps you could cover some of that territory?