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Archive: Marvin

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This is a sport that got its start in bootlegging, and look what it’s become

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Gearhead Gertie, 1/23/25

Today’s Gearhead Gertie is actually a pretty great commentary about how modern fandoms of all stripes have slowly transformed from genuine expressions of enthusiasm into parasocial relationships between fans and the corporations that churn out the content they crave. You’d think that a NASCAR superfan would need a drone in order to get views of the race from angles that you simply can’t see on TV or even sitting in the stands. But no, Gertie would simply never dream of violating the sacred media rights agreements NASCAR has signed with their distribution partners FOX Sports, NBC Sports, Amazon’s Prime Video, and TNT Sports. Instead, she’s using the drone to harass the unfortunate workers tasked with delivering the overpriced licensed trinkets that tide her over between officially sanctioned broadcasts of racing action.

Marvin, 1/23/25

I must offer further grudging respect to Marvin for reaching new levels of villainy this week. Sure, “I should get to piss and shit myself as long as I want and that’s my parents’ problem” is grotesque, but it honestly pales in comparison to “Your parents are doing something for you because it makes you happy, which is a psyop. Do not fall for it and express any pleasure whatsoever!”

Mary Worth, 1/23/25

Wait, Jared, are you counting Jess, who you dumped Dawn for, and who I’m pretty sure has never interacted with her before today, as Dawn’s friend? Because I don’t think that really counts! I don’t think you really count, to be perfectly honest.

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Gloomy Tuesday

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Marvin, 1/21/25

I really have to respect Marvin for playing the long game and getting me to publicly praise it for turning away from shit and piss jokes and then unleash what may be one of the vilest strips in the all years I’ve read it, one in which Marvin suggests that, if he had his druthers, he would continue crawling around on the floor and soiling himself well into his tween years, simply because he feels making the effort not to and alleviating his parents of the burdens of catering to his basest needs would be an affront to his dignity.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/21/25

Lotta people see the revolving door of the Hootin’ Holler jail and think Snuffy never truly pays the price for his various crimes. But today we learn that in fact his constant brushes with the law have turned his own mind into a prison that’s ultimately of his own making, and I think that’s neat.

Pluggers, 1/21/25

“Pluggers are stuck in the bathtub and probably they’re going to die there” is frankly a little too grim for me this morning! Please go back to being smug about your exurban folkways, Pluggers, I much prefer that to seeing the chicken-lady’s last bubbly moments!

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Animal spirits

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Shoe, 1/18/25

It’s true: closed captions aren’t just for the hearing impaired. They also help viewers in a variety of contexts where speech may be difficult to understand, allowing them to enjoy programs that they would otherwise have a hard time following. Thanks for the tip, Perfesser!

Pluggers, 1/18/25

It’s true: tofu doesn’t have much of a flavor itself, but it absorbs sauces and other flavors from whatever dish it’s in, so it’s an adaptable form of protein that works in a lot of different meals. Congrats on overcoming your culinary xenophobia and figuring this out, Bear-Man!

Marvin, 1/18/25

It’s honestly quite rude of Marvin to wait for me to publicly admit that it hasn’t really done many piss or shit jokes lately and then hit me with a piss joke at the end of the week. Anyway, I really like the implication here that, having been housebroken, Bitsy can never go back, not even in the most dire of circumstances. You don’t actually have to piss outside, Bitsy, if you have any courage!