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Gil Thorp, 3/26/25

A thing about getting old that is absolutely a cliche but also 100% true AND also something that you can’t really understand until you experience it is that time really does feel like it goes by faster. It seemed to me that Luke went from Gil’s rival to his faithful retainer in the blink of an eye, but it’s been two and a half years since he came on the scene, so maybe these arcs really have run their course. Maybe it makes sense that now he’s just a schlubby guy in a polo shirt and khakis saying stuff like “You know what I learned from Coach Thorp? That it’s cool to lose, actually,” and it’s not setting up a sick burn where he says “because Coach Thorp is a loser!!!!!” Anyway, at least we have Coach Gerard‘s endless enmity! At least we have that!

Herb and Jamaal, 3/26/25

Politicians, generals, warlords! Know that if you’re planning some new armed conflict, anywhere on earth, the Herb and Jamaal published on March 26, 2025, will apply, thanks to its carefully crafted ambiguity. Perhaps just seeing this strip will make you think twice about unleashing the horrors of war, knowing such a cutting commentary was prepared for you, in advance!

Mary Worth, 3/26/25

OK, yes, fine, here’s Wilbur delivering a spit take so vigorous it shakes his combover out of place, prompted by the idea that he might be on the verge of doing sex to a lady in such a way that she would derive pleasure from it. I know I should be chortling with glee, but I’m not feeling it, OK? Not the way I was when I thought Wilbur had died. I guess I’m really more a thanatos guy than an eros guy, when it comes to Wilbur.

Pickles, 3/26/25

I definitely haven’t reached the “bothering to learn the characters’ names” stage with Pickles — and, Lord willing, I may never get there — but I am taking a shine to Grandson Pickles, just based on this strip. I like how he’s not letting his grandmother shake him off from this line of inquiry. What if someone died, Grandma? What if you died, right here in the living room? Would they still call it that? Because you wouldn’t be living in it anymore, if you follow me.

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Hi and Lois, 3/23/25

Look, you know I’m a genuine fan of Hi and Lois’s new melancholy, punchline-free vibe, but I’m sorry, “spring is here, time to ramp up our loathing of our aging bodies” is too dark and I’m going to need them to ratchet things back a bit.

Mary Worth, 3/23/25

OK, we all knew from the get-go that Wilbur’s vacation fling with funny hair was going to show up at his condo from the get-go, but I don’t think any of us could’ve predicted that she would arrive just as Wilbur was sorting through his surprisingly diverse shoe collection as part of his plan to strike the perfect balance between aesthetics and endurance for his upcoming karaoke outing. Will Belle be into Wilbur’s whole shoe deal, will she be repulsed by it as somehow unmasculine, or will she not find anything noteworthy about a bedroom with shoes strewn randomly around the floor and bed? The answer will tell us all a lot about this lady.

Heathcliff, 3/23/25

Heathcliff! You probably shouldn’t be putting forth the effort to communicate with the dog community in their own language at all, and if you’re going to stoop to that level, it should be to make them quake in fear, not chortle at your wit. You’re letting down all your dogcatcher fans!

Luann, 3/23/25

“I guess you know you’re old when you used to live in a civilization with a strong literary culture but now you need drastic pharmaceutical intervention just to stay alive.” “Ha! Under no circumstances should you put that on a t-shirt, it’s way too depressing.”

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The Phantom, 3/20/25

The Phantom, it is my task to occasionally remind you, is actually a 22-generation long chain of fathers and sons who each take the role of the Ghost Who Walks in turn, who arrived in southern Africa from Europe back in [waves hands vaguely] the pirate era, and who have perpetuated themselves by continually sending away for European or European-descended brides. But one of the very long- and slow-running ongoing storylines in the strip is about how the current Phantom’s son Kit will probably be the first to break this chain of racial purity. He’s not going to marry one of the Bangallans that his family has lived among for centuries — let’s not go nuts — but will probably end up either with the local girl who’s mooning over him as he studies Phantom stuff (?) at a monastery in the Himalayas, or with Kadia Sahara, born the daughter of one of the Phantom’s longtime nemeses but now a foster daughter of the weird Walker clan. Anyway, the thing I like most about today’s strip is that container ship cruising by in the background as Kit’s sister Heloise, a Kadia partisan, boasts to her mother (via some kind of bespoke video messaging app, the screen branded with the Phantom’s famous skull mark) about the beach-based meet-cute she’s just arranged. The huge vessel reminds us that, despite all these superheroic breeding machinations, the quiet miracle of global commerce soldiers on.

Mary Worth, 3/20/25

Check out the contemplative way Dawn is regarding that apple in the second panel. Sure, she missed her musical duets with her dad while he was away; but now that she’s eaten the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, she realizes that inflicting Weston karaoke stylings on an innocent and unsuspecting public is wrong, and must be stopped for the good of mankind.

Pluggers, 3/20/25

Hi is experiencing a plugger-like loss of sex drive in middle age, but as his huge grin in panel two makes clear, he’s not mad about it at all! Remember when he was younger and got distracted by erotic feelings all the time? That ate up valuable time in which he could’ve been working on improving his short game! Thank god those days are behind him.