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Alice, 5/6/26

Remember how at one point Alice thought that new cars were too expensive because of all the crazy new features they had, but then just a few weeks later decided that she could get spoiled by all those new features? Well, good news: she’s still holding the line. Her old car is perfect! No technology!! And it gets her where she wants to go.

Dick Tracy, 5/6/26

“It’s because he’s a notorious criminal who someone recently broke out of prison for no doubt nefarious purposes! We’re all cops and he’s been one of our nemeses for years, so I’m not sure why I have to say that out loud, honestly. Are we on a Netflix show now, where studio execs have mandated that we need to keep repeating key plot points back and forth to one another because everyone’s on their phones and only half paying attention?”

Gil Thorp, 5/6/26

Hey, kids, do you think golf is a game that old people play and other old people watch on television? Well, Gil Thorp, the comic strip about and for (?) teens, is here to prove that wrong! It’s a sport that young people play and other young people stream on the YouTube app on their phones! Probably! Would a comic strip lie to me?

Mary Worth, 5/6/26

“It’s your mom! Which means our relationship is an abomination and I’m leaving you. Smell ya later!”

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The Phantom, 5/4/26

President Goranda is, according to the extremely detailed Phantom wiki I just discovered, the leader of Ivory Lana, the country that was the setting of the storyline that just wrapped up, and, look, I get that it’s fun to be like, “Wow! There’s our friend! He’s on TV!” but if your friend is literally a president, he’s going to be on the news a fair amount. That’s like one of a president’s main jobs! So no need to get all worked up about it, is what I’m saying.

Mary Worth, 5/4/26

Oh hell yes it’s a Tommy storyline, everybody! A storyline where Tommy is sad! I don’t think we have to ask why he’s sad — the main driver of negative emotions in the Mary Worth universe is romantic failure, so I assume his onion ring fiancee just dumped him. The more fun question is how he’ll react. Will he turn to weed? Pills? Crack cocaine?
Our lord and savior Jesus Christ? I am very excited to find out!

Herb and Jamaal, 5/4/26

If you’re wondering “Which comics did a ‘May The Fourth Be With You’ joke today,” one of the answers is obviously that the dork-ass nerds over at Intelligent Life did it, which I’m not even going to bother showing you because you could’ve guessed that in advance. But if you’re wondering “Which comics did a ‘May The Fourth Be With You’ joke today and somehow managed to completely fuck up the phrasing in baffling ways,” then the possibly also not surprising answer is Herb and Jamaal, apparently.

Beetle Bailey, 5/4/26

OK, fine, newspaper comics are fundamentally an art form by and for old people at this point, but I still think that doing a strip whose punchline is “Everyone younger than 45 is literally an alien to me” is a little on the nose.

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Dick Tracy, 5/3/26

There’s no such thing as the “J. Duveen Art Gallery” (though Joseph Duveen was a famous early 20th century art dealer), but the fictional building so named in this strip appears to be a Frank Gehry design. I’d like to believe that in the Dick Tracy universe, Gehry worked extensively in Neo-Chicago, taking inspiration from the dramatic and abstract skull shapes of the various members of Tracy’s rogues gallery.

Mary Worth, 5/3/26

Not a lot of new stuff in this Sunday recap of the recap, but I do like how languorous Mary and Toby look in that hot tub. Mary is so relaxed she can’t even bring herself to lift her hands out of the water to make air quotes around “relationship” and “girlfriend”! Anyway, I admit this plot has been fun but I’m hoping that the Sunday quote from martial arts master Jet Li presages an upcoming storyline that’s a bit more dynamic.

Crankshaft, 5/3/26

Crankshaft did a strip about hot flashes, and it didn’t make a pun or wordplay of any kind about them, and you can tell from Ed’s picture here that he’s absolutely furious about it. “If I had been there, it wouldn’t have went down like it did,” he’s thinking. “I would’ve malaproped ‘menopause’ so intensely that people would be talking about it for years.”