Archive: Mary Worth

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Mary Worth, 2/5/26

“Good lord,” you’re no doubt thinking, “how is it that, more than two weeks after Ian ended his war against Sunny the parrot by pathetically surrendering, this plot is still happening?” Well, it’s to set up a long-term plot point: if Ian refused to love the bird Toby acquired a few weeks earlier just because it shat in his shoes, could she ever trust him again? Somehow, after so many years of marriage, Toby has finally noticed that her husband is an asshole, and sure, maybe it’s over something that he’s actually right about, but he’s on thin ice going forward (until Toby remembers she has neither a job nor any marketable skills).

Judge Parker, 2/5/26

Ann’s triumphant return has, predictably, devolved into wall-of-text family dysfunction, but I am kind of curious why Ann’s dialogue in the second panel makes it seem like she’s trying to de-escalate but the jagged-edged word balloon indicates that she’s yelling. Maybe she’s worried a furious Katherine is about to deliver a potful of hot coffee right to her face? Don’t worry, Ann, that would be exciting, so it definitely won’t happen.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 2/5/26

Say, just out of curiosity, did, uh, Robin Hood famously have any kind of interesting relationship with the tax assessment and collection apparatus? You know, the kind of dynamic that might provide a punchline of some sort in a strip like this? A better punchline than what we got here, maybe?

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Beetle Bailey, 2/4/26

Hey! Miss Buxley Wednesday is an honorable tradition, and it was specifically created so that elderly pervert comic strip fans could regularly get hornt up about a crude drawing of a sexy lady in a little black dress! It’s not for insulting Miss Buxley as a bad worker, and then not even showing her in the strip so people can get horny over her. This is disrespectful to Miss Buxley. I mean, doing it the other way is too, I suppose, but this way is disrespectful to the perverts too, and like it or not they keep the comics in business.

Mary Worth, 2/4/26

It’s hard to imagine a meal getting funnier after one of the participants says “Toby, I’m glad Ian finally found peace with your bird,” but then — wham! The waiter shows up with a huge salad and a big slice of pie, apparently to be eaten by two different people at the same time.

Marvin, 2/4/26

Ha ha, it’s funny because soon all of Marvin’s body parts will freeze in the bitter cold, and then eventually his unpleasant parents, who are nowhere to be seen, will be charged with criminal negligence. That’s what we in the Marvin-hating community call a “win-win”!

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Heathcliff, 1/29/26

Grandpa Nutmeg typically gets mad at Heathcliff for failing to deal with his house’s endemic mouse problem, but I actually think his anger is out of place here. The mice are already outside! I don’t think it’s fair to say that mice aren’t allowed to be on your property. The fact that they’re building a majestic snow sculpture that will come to be a widely admired tourist attraction and, eventually, a UNESCO World Heritage Site, is neither here nor there. Let the mice be, Grandpa Nutmeg!

Gearhead Gertie, 1/29/26

Gertie, I don’t mean to step out of bounds here, but if you are unable to experience pleasure or joy knowing that your special interest is out of season, have you considered that you might benefit from therapy? Just like NASCAR heroes Cody Ware and William Byron have? Admitting you need help isn’t an expression of weakness — and you don’t want mental health issues “slowing you down,” if I may speak your language for a moment!

Mary Worth, 1/29/26

“Toby, a longtime resident of Southern California, is inspired to learn Spanish by her new parrot” is a truly amazing place for this storyline to land. We have, I believe, achieved a new level of Peak Toby, and we should all celebrate it.