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Archive: Mary Worth

165

Animals strike curious poses

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Mary Worth, 3/8/26

Five years ago, Mary tried to broach the question of whether Estelle was being grifted rather gingerly. With Harvey, she’s being somewhat more direct, and it immediately blew up in her face, though maybe that’s just his masculine pride kicking in and driving him to comically storm out of the room. It’s just like beloved [note to self: look up what kind of job “B.C. Forbes” has held or what sort of person they are before publishing this post and insert description here] “B.C. Forbes” says: if you don’t have your life savings drained every few years or so by a Cambodian-based criminal syndicate, you were leaving legitimate opportunities to have sex with hot babes much younger than you on the table!

Shoe, 3/8/26

I know, I know this is a perennial gripe of mine, but: You absolutely cannot do whimsical jokes about birds in a comic strip where everyone is a bird. This is a joke about a number of these characters’ peers committing violent, awful suicide! It’s pretty believable that they’d do it, since all the bird-people in this strip are very depressed, and with good reason, since they live in a world dominated by sapient birds where nevertheless KFC is a viable business.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 3/8/26

Now, this strip? Where Slylock Fox, a sapient animal cop in a world dominated by sapient animals, is providing enhanced security to a wealthy and influential sapient animal who is fairly obviously wearing a fur coat? That doesn’t make me mad at all. That’s just how the world works. That’s a mystery that kids need to learn how to solve a lot more than anything about gloves and how people won’t pick up just one lying there by itself no matter how lovely it is.

165

Animal spirits

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/4/26

Yeah, it is a good thing they aren’t playing for money! Imagine if the Smifs had learned that Sukey, a being that they have long treated as a beast and a possession that does manual labor at their bidding, were intelligent enough to understand the concept of the exchange value of currency — and, moreover, had somehow already acquired possession of enough of it to wager. The implications would be truly horrific.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 3/4/26

After some reflection, I’m OK with an entire Mother Goose and Grimm strip that consists of a glimpse into the internal monologue of a character we’ve never seen before as he dances with Mother Goose. What’s unsettling me is that he’s a human and none of said monologue includes reflection on the fact that he’s dancing with a human-sized bird. Do you think he already mentally covered that ground before we got here? Do you think he has a plan for when Ma Goose’s person-sized bird boyfriend shows up, and tries to peck him to death or swat at him with his powerful wings?

Mary Worth, 3/4/26

Ah, man, I guess it’s time to start the “blame game” for why our boy Harvey has gotten himself catfished. I think we can all agree that it’s probably a woman’s fault, and “Trixie”’s puppeteer isn’t even female, so I guess the problem is … Harvey’s daughter, for living a fun go-go single life in fast-paced Goleta and not spending her every waking moment monitoring his screen time? Enh, that’ll do.

203

In these times

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Luann, 3/3/26

Look, man, I get that comic strip time is in some ways just an insurmountable problem for strips where the characters don’t really age, but the way you get around this problem is by just kind of ignoring it and not by having your character mention the impact that an important historical event that happened 25 years ago had on their career journey. Is Brad in his mid 40s now? Is Luann a period piece that takes place sometime before 2012 or so? Does Luann take place in an alternate universe where 9/11 happened in, like, 2019? Those are the three options, and you brought this on yourself by being specific, Luann.

Mary Worth, 3/3/26

“That’s just the way of the world these days! No doubt she’s spending her time convincing a much older man that she’s his girlfriend and getting him to send her intermittent Venmo payments. That’s the 21st century for you!”

Pluggers, 3/3/26

BIG NEWS: Pluggers have heard about ChatGPT and they think it’s for … finding mayonnaise? We might have to consider shutting down human society and technological advances entirely until we can figure out what’s going on.