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Judge Parker, 5/10/26

There have been hints in this strip that Judge Parker Senior is slipping away into alcoholism or maybe just dementia, and … look, he’s kind of an asshole, and sure, Katherine seems to be on top of his apparent disappearance as this strip opens, but you have to imagine that she leaves those keys where he can find them even though she shouldn’t, and, well, maybe today’s the day when he’s going to drive into a wall and she’ll be rid of him and, since his kids are themselves both kind of assholes, get that money. It turns out that he was just making a sandwich, though! Oh well.

Hagar the Horrible, 5/10/26

Despite my endless attempts to parse the anachronisms of Hagar the Horrible, I do of course realize that the anachronisms are key to the jokes, like the mix of the modern concept of a “hospital” with our vague ideas of ancient medicine here. Anyway, today’s punchline is whatever but I think “Take those leeches out of here! I’m not a blood buffet!” is very funny! A hearty chuckle was had, by me.

Mary Worth, 5/10/26

“I know many people who are smart, successful, resourced, but because of loneliness, they throw almost everything away for an illusion! Now imagine how loneliness would affect a dumb, poor failure!” [SMASH CUT TO: MEANWHILE, TOMMY BEEDIE WEEPS]

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Gil Thorp, 5/7/26

See that girl in the second panel, sort of squinting at Gil and Coach Gerads in the middle distance? That’s me, trying to parse the order of their conversation. “I guess my invitation got lost in the mail.” “It’s invite-only, coach.” “I know, I said, I guess my invitation got lost in the mail.” “And I said, it’s invite-only, coach.” They could go on like this forever. Anyway, I thought I’d give you a glimpse of Coach Gerads’s dumb outfit, if that’s the sort of thing that amuses you (I admit it does me).

Mary Worth, 5/7/26

Oh my god Tommy isn’t spiraling into crisis because Brandy dumped him, he’s in crisis because she went on a trip without him! He meant “left” literally, in the sense of physically moving out of his immediate vicinity! This is simultaneously one of the funniest and saddest things Mary Worth has ever done, which is an impressive achievement in a srtip that stars Wilbur Weston.

Hagar the Horrible, 5/7/26

Hagar has killed so many people, you guys. So many! Almost none of them deserved it! They were just trying to defend themselves when he was robbing them!

Pluggers, 5/7/26

Hey, now, pluggers aren’t “smart”! You almost had me there for a minute. They aren’t “devices,” either, as most devices are engineered at least passably well.

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Alice, 5/6/26

Remember how at one point Alice thought that new cars were too expensive because of all the crazy new features they had, but then just a few weeks later decided that she could get spoiled by all those new features? Well, good news: she’s still holding the line. Her old car is perfect! No technology!! And it gets her where she wants to go.

Dick Tracy, 5/6/26

“It’s because he’s a notorious criminal who someone recently broke out of prison for no doubt nefarious purposes! We’re all cops and he’s been one of our nemeses for years, so I’m not sure why I have to say that out loud, honestly. Are we on a Netflix show now, where studio execs have mandated that we need to keep repeating key plot points back and forth to one another because everyone’s on their phones and only half paying attention?”

Gil Thorp, 5/6/26

Hey, kids, do you think golf is a game that old people play and other old people watch on television? Well, Gil Thorp, the comic strip about and for (?) teens, is here to prove that wrong! It’s a sport that young people play and other young people stream on the YouTube app on their phones! Probably! Would a comic strip lie to me?

Mary Worth, 5/6/26

“It’s your mom! Which means our relationship is an abomination and I’m leaving you. Smell ya later!”