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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/1/26

Ah, it looks like our runaway ex-Hollywood starlet, now desperate to eschew fame, is about to run into our own Mud Mountain Murphy, who has something of a complicated relationship with fame himself! You might recall that Mud was so intent on getting a headlining spot at a roots country show that he pretended to shit himself on stage to move his set later in the order; subsequently, however, thanks to the phoney-baloney Mirakle Method, he became a better person. Still, the Method also helped him find fame as “Li’l Fergus”, and he seems very twitchy about how his headshot should be on the wall of this crappy motel lobby, so it might take the love (?) of a good (???) woman to set him straight once and for all.

Mary Worth, 3/1/26

Oh, interesting, it looks like this Mary Worth plot isn’t going to be about sinister AI, but actually about the very grim reality of most so-called pig butchering scams. It turns out that if you got tricked out of tens of thousands of dollars in bitcoin by a fake online romantic partner, the conversations you were having are less likely to be with a cackling Danny DeVito lookalike and more likely to be with one of tens of thousands of people who have been recruited under false pretenses and enslaved in compounds along the Thai-Cambodian border. And sure, AI will end up making lots of white-collar jobs obsolete, but it will probably soon be able to do scam convos well enough that the criminal syndicates that profit off these cons will soon find that kidnapping people is no longer cost effective, so who’s to say if it’s good or bad.

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Dennis the Menace, 2/27/26

I’m not here to tell the Dennis the Menace creative team how to do their job, but … oh, wait, I am here to do that! That’s literally my job! Anyway, this joke is fine, but it absolutely should’ve run in mid-December, not February. And probably Dennis should’ve looked gleeful, not, as he does here, mournful, as if he’s been forced by circumstances beyond his control to paste some poor sap with a snowball against his will.

Mary Worth, 2/27/26

Several commenters have speculated that Harvey is being catfished and this would just be a tired retread of the “Estelle gets catfished by Arthur Z” plotline from five years ago. One thing that could spice that up a little is to bring AI into the picture, and Mary’s boldfaced “unreal” hints pretty broadly that this is the direction we’re going. The only question is whether “Trixie” is a fully autonomous bot, perhaps an escapee from the Moltbook project, or just a cartoonish avatar that Arthur Z whipped up with OpenAI’s free tier image generation capabilities, since using stock photos is now passé in the eldergrift biz.

Blondie, 2/27/26

Look, Dagwood, I don’t know what you think “freestyle” means, but whatever you’re doing with your legs isn’t it. It isn’t anything we want to see, either. This is a family newspaper, damn it.

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Dick Tracy, 2/26/26

The number of human beings who, over the past 18 months or so, have wondered to themselves if minor Dick Tracy villain Silver Nitrate is still having a hard time in prison can probably be counted on one hand, but I assume all those people read my blog and have only come to care because of my occasional efforts to bring the matter to their attention. So anyway, this plot update goes out to all of you Nitrate trufans: the Russians launched a drone attack on a Neo-Chicago prison in order to facilitate a mass jailbreak, and now Silver Nitrate is about to get extremely killed, by a machine gun.

Mary Worth, 2/26/26

“Oh, wow … just 32 and a widow already! You know, most young women don’t really have a sense of how long a man can live, and when they meet one who’s older than them they assume he’s got like 5 or 10 years left in him, tops. Anyway, good for her!”

Blondie, 2/26/26

“Blondie wants Dagwood to prove his humanity by displaying sexual interest in her, and Dagwood doesn’t care if Blondie is a robot or not so long as his dinner is made of real meat” is, uh. It’s a little on the nose, I think.