Archive: Mary Worth

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Beetle Bailey, 3/29/26

The last panel here fills me with nothing but contempt. Apparently the only way they could think of to visually drive home that Sarge had pizza at bedtime was to put a pizza box in bed with him, but then they put it in a wildly unrealistic position (open? on his thighs?) and drew it without any identifying features so it looks like a laptop. Beetle is there to deliver the necessary information anyway. The rest of the strip is fine, definitely not the most unpleasant dream sequence the strip has ever done.

Mary Worth, 3/29/26

OK, I joked yesterday about how maybe dumb old Harvey isn’t the one we should be sympathetic with in this scenario, but if “Trixie” actually manages to escape his awful enslavement thanks to the outdoor privileges he earned scamming Harvey, I think we genuinely have a moral dilemma on our hands here. And who knows, maybe “Trixie” will track down Harvey and tell him the full story and offer to help make him whole to the best of his abilities. And maybe they’ll fall in love! Dare to dream!

Blondie, 3/29/26

Hey, do mild stimulants help you get more productivity out of your workers? For a little while, anyway, is what Dithers just found out. Back to the drawing board! Let’s take that “mild” out next time, maybe!

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Mary Worth, 3/28/26

OK, fine, “Trixie” successfully scammed Harvey out of a six-figure amount, which we do not condone. But, does Harvey need that money, honestly? He seems pretty well off and also likely to die soon, and it’s not like he’s that close to his daughter and only heir. Meanwhile, “Trixie” has been rewarded for the successful grift by being released from his dank, ill-lit prison to get a few precious moments outdoors! Isn’t that more important than whatever non-enslaved-person drama is going on in Charterstone?

B.C., 3/28/26

There’s probably not enough lead time for B.C. to be doing oblique commentary on current events, so I guess this is just a panel about a couple of fish who are going to murder two of this strip’s main characters, using a massive explosion. And good for them!

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Crankshaft, 3/25/26

I like the combination of Crankshaft’s dopey smile and Keesterman’s look of genuine concern in the final panel. Consistently misspeaking like this isn’t normal and it isn’t funny, and I guess someone should tell the latter to Andrews McMeel Syndication, which sells this strip to newspapers all over the country.

Hi and Lois, 3/25/26

Wow, Hi’s face in that last panel is a lot less “Ha ha, the mayor wasn’t even able to get that ball over the plate!” and a lot more “Oh my god … the mayor somehow killed six and injured dozens more with an errant throw. This is awful. This is the darkest opening day in the history of Major League Baseball.”

Mary Worth, 3/25/26

I feel like logically we must assume that there’s an unseen third panel, where someone is fretting that Mary hasn’t reached out for a bit. Is it Wilbur? Probably Wilbur. He’s hit some new emotional low in a comical fashion and Mary is the last person he knows who won’t laugh directly in his face about it. Obviously there’s no unseen fourth panel, because nobody is worried that Wilbur hasn’t gotten in touch lately.