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Mary Worth, 2/28/22

Look, folks, if you can’t handle “Josh falls in love with a new Mary Worth plot” after so many damn years on this blog, then I don’t even know why you’re reading this blog at this point, but I am definitely in love with today’s strip, in which Cal and “Ms. C” flirt by flinging a frisbee back and forth at one another at point-blank range. See, Cal’s mom, playing frisbee isn’t a waste of time, because if Toby manages to break Cal’s hand, he’s probably guaranteed an A in her class and he won’t even have to go anymore.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/28/22

One of my low-key favorite running bits in Snuffy Smith is that Snuffy constantly cheats at poker and routinely gets the shit beat out of him for it. Anyway, I really enjoy today’s strip because you can see everyone’s face begin to darken between panels one and two and realize that another explosion of brutal violence is on the horizon. Lukey is unconcerned about the coming assault on his best friend, though. It’s none of his business! Snuffy brought it on himself, as usual!

Slylock Fox, 2/28/22

The answer to the riddle is that someone gave birth on this cursed sea voyage, and I for one am upset that there’s some adorable baby animal on board that we don’t get to see, even though it probably would’ve given away the answer. Anyway that baby is dead now! It drowned, because there weren’t enough life jackets.

Funky Winkerbean, 2/28/22

I know I call Pete “Mopey Pete” all the time on this blog, but even I’m surprised to hear that he’s always “lightening the mood” around the Atomic Comix bullpen with propaganda for the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement. “Have you met any of the people in this comic strip?” he asks. “We’re all completely irredeemable.”

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Funky Winkerbean, 2/27/22

“Ha ha, get it? Because of the pandemic? Which is actually only a couple years old at this point? But seriously, have any of you ever had a conversation with Harley? Because I definitely haven’t.”

Family Circus, 2/27/22

I guess this is supposed to be about how kids do the darndest things (like drain your wallet at restaurants) but mainly what I’m getting is that the Keanes can’t cook. You ever think about cooking something they might want to eat, guys? Can’t believe I’m actually on the Keane Kids’ side for once.

Mary Worth, 2/27/22

Is “you really captured my uncommon mouth” supposed to be … sexy? I certainly hope this question haunts Cal’s dreams tonight, because it will definitely haunt mine.

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Gil Thorp, 2/26/22

The thing about Gil Thorp and its teenage hijinks is that they do occur in the very restricted world of the newspaper comics section, which means that the black-market Adderall the characters buy needs to be fake, their “sexting” photos need to be fully clothed, and their backyard wrestling deaths need to be accidental. Still, I would have liked at least a panel or two of ambiguity before finding out that Pranit’s attempt to solve his cash-flow problems with hired violence instantly blew up in his face.

Gasoline Alley, 2/26/22

Gasoline Alley is doing this long shaggy dog story about how Walt was on an adventure in Egypt decades ago and ended up in a Pharaoh’s tomb and drank something, and I feel like we finally have an explanation of what’s going on with him, which is that he’s under a mummy’s curse. Which make sense, as he’s increasingly mummy-like himself.

Mary Worth, 2/26/22

Cal, I get it, Toby’s an attractive woman, and a student-teacher romance has a forbidden allure. But you don’t have to debase yourself by claiming that you think Toby’s hideous grey figurines look “playful.” Try to have a little dignity, man.