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Mary Worth, 5/10/19

Aw, isn’t that sweet! Mary has decided to bring her former cat Libby a tuna casserole, and has to make a pro forma offer to share with Estelle, the human who agreed to contain Libby’s allergy-prompting dander in her apartment so as not to damper on Mary’s sex life. Sadly, Estelle is now feral with grief and isolation after spending weeks alone in her darkened apartment, so she lunges at Mary, desperate for human contact. And this, if I’m reading the angles here properly, is about to result in a tray full of gooey, piping-hot casserole hurled skyward, only to flop down on Mary and Estelle and inflict delicious second degree burns onto their faces. Libby will be happily eating tuna casserole off the floor long after Mary and Estelle have been taken to the hospital.

Blondie, 5/10/19

Gotta love how Dagwood doesn’t really have a sense of aesthetics or joy in watching a man practice his craft or anything like that. His favorite part is when they take it out of the oven, because that’s the part right before he gets to eat it. He wants to eat it. He needs to eat it. He hungerssssssss

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Mary Worth, 5/9/19

Gotta appreciate the efficient storytelling in today’s Mary Worth! Estelle’s unkempt hair and vague reference to the “several” days it’s been since she heard from “Arthur” let us know that she’s entered a sort of sad fugue state, not bathing or leaving the apartment or talking to anyone other than her only mildly interested cat. I just want to point out that, now that you can get staples like CAT CHOW delivered to your door by Amazon, Estelle could keep this up for weeks, becoming a Miss Havisham of the condo complex, until Mary or Toby finally get bored with whatever they’re up to and decide to check on her.

Dustin, 5/9/19

So for those of you who aren’t, like me, getting really drawn into learning about and immediately disliking the minutia of Dustin, this lady here works at Dustin’s temp agency, and she’s always trying to find temp assignments for him but he keeps screwing them up and getting fired because ha ha millennials, amiright? Anyway, today she doesn’t like Siri because … get this … it doesn’t understand sarcasm! This joke probably would’ve landed better if we had seen her attempting to look something up sarcastically, like “Hey Siri, find me a job for my favorite client, the extremely task-oriented and reliable Dustin,” but I get that all that dialogue would take away from three solid panels of a lady looking at her phone while a dude looks at her from the other side of a desk.

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Mary Worth, 5/5/19

Some might say this is “Arthur” revealing his true face, and it is … just not the way you think. Our slovenly scammer has come to realize that Estelle will never, ever give up on him unless he makes it truly obvious that he is not and never was the man she loves. Rather than just abruptly ceasing to take her calls and leaving her bereft of both love and closure, he’s decided to make his own bad intentions as clear as possible, really leaning into the scumbaggery, in order to establish a clean break. Look at how riled up he is in that final panel! Surely such a skilled con artist would never let his emotions run away with him in the midst of his act; no, this is pure method acting, and in its own way an act of love, to help Estelle get over him as soon as possible.

Pluggers, 5/5/19

There’s exactly one tiny chair within viewing distance of that television, so I’m assuming that Henrietta Beak is unfamiliar not just with the remote but with TV generally, as her husband spends most of his waking hours sitting there while she tends to the kitchen or whatever. She’s in for a steep learning curve as she tries to find her favorite shows. “What channel is the DuMont Network? Why won’t the TV Guide tell me the schedule for this ‘Net-flicks’ channel?”

Hagar the Horrible, 5/5/19

Good Lord, in order to assuage his deep and profound loneliness, Hamlet has demanded that this pagan sorcerer pull living souls from the aether! Sure, these children will make Hamlet’s birthday more fun, but will their very presence in our world unbalance the structure of reality? Merlin, you’ve gone too far this time!